Burnt Burger Balls and Developing Strengths

Determined to Learn

My dad was traveling for work and I was determined to eat good grilled food. I was around 16 yrs old and fired up the grill after preparing the burgers. My mom, aunt, cousins and sister were all home.

Alexa and Siri weren’t around to help me. The Encyclopedia Brittanica was in the box. I could have asked Jeeves, but hindsight is 2020.

After working the grill like a "master" the burgers became large burnt burger balls on the grill! No matter how hard I pushed, I couldn't flatten them. They looked done ... I mean they were burnt! Crip on the outside!

I brought them up on the platter and everyone graciously put a burnt burger ball on their bun. We all added cheese and plenty of condiment to cover the taste of whatever we were about to bite into.

Then came the first bite ... They were still raw in the middle!

I think we went for take out that night. My first time grilling was an utter failure!

The burnt burger balls didn't hit the spot. Sometimes our first attempt causes us to revert back to what we did before. It shouldn't though. Keep pushing, keep developing and accomplish your goals.

Don’t Quit Trying When It Doesn’t Work Out

Sometimes when we try something new for the first time it doesn’t work out as planned. It doesn't mean you shouldn't try it again.

Not to brag (maybe a little). My family and friends consider me somewhat of a grill master. It just took lots of practice to get it right.

Sometimes when we try something new for the first time it doesn’t work out as planned. It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try again.

How are you developing yourself?

What skill set are you trying to develop?

Every time we prepare for a new role or take on a new role we have to develop. What got us there won’t keep us there. You are working with new leaders, new team members, new clients and you need to develop new strengths to be successful. You have them in you - you just need to practice.

My Story

We use the SDI 2.0 Inventory at Insight Leadership Group. This is a picture of the third view the tool gives me. My top strengths are persuasive, self-confident, quick to act, perseverance, and forceful. - Very results focused strengths. When I work with leaders driven with a desire to help people before the result, my natural leadership style can run them the wrong way. My heart for people isn’t always seen in how they perceive me. I had to learn to bring up new strengths to connect with leaders wired up differently than me. It’s not enough to simply trust, I need to communicate trust. It’s not enough to be option oriented, I needed to communicate that I was option oriented. I had to deploy new strengths to rally the team together. My first attempts were a bit awkward and clunky - now it comes naturally.

It’s like working the grill for the first time.

Just because it didn’t work out the first time, doesn’t mean it should be the last time.

If you don’t have have 10 years to figure it out give us call. We help you get there after a few weeks. Register for the Courageous Leaders Cohort to take the next step today.

Lead With Conviction and Courage ...

Conviction and Courage Have Consequences

We talk to our kids about courage often. We talk to them about doing the right thing even when it’s hard. We talk to them about standing up for others.

Our son Titus was in Kindergarten and rode the bus home from school. A boy a year or two older than Titus was constantly bullying the girl across the street on their bus rides homes. They told him to stop and over and over again the boy would get worse and worse. Finally my little man had enough of his friend getting bullied. Titus reared back and punched the kid in the back of the head. We received a call from the school later …

I’m not a fan of physical violence, I am a fan of kids not letting other kids get bullied. I am a fan of my son acting with courage and conviction to help someone in need. Consequences happen when you do the right thing, sometimes in your favor, sometimes not … but we still need to lead with conviction and courage.

We don’t always lead with conviction and courage do we? We know the consequences don’t always line up for our favor. We can put our reputations, our jobs, our career path in jeopardy when we do what’s right. At least thats the narrative we tell ourselves in those times.

During chaos, under pressure - we can lose our conviction and courage in an effort to make something work, but what I hope we realize is that when we lose our conviction and courage - we lose ourselves. We lose our identity, we lose our purpose and passion.

When we lack conviction and courage

The stories play out often. Under pressure the lines of right and wrong get more and more blurred. We justify the grey areas because we are “working hard” and “trying our best”. We justify the blurred lines because, “it’s just this one time” and “it’s the only way it will work”. That mindset overtime leads to something worse every time.

We’ve heard the stories:

The Wells Far Fiasco

Remember Wells Fargo in 2014? Think fake accounts, incentive payouts, a culture rich with ethics violations. Watch the video to refresh your memory. Read more here.

Where was conviction at Wells Fargo?

A Financial Investment Firm and Church Leader

A well known Investment Firm made a huge mistake and worked hard to cover it up. The managing director was a leader in his local church. A church member trusted him with his retirement account and it didn’t go well. An employee in the firm traded without consent and lost 50k of the church members investment. Self-preservation mode kicked in for the managing director. His license, his job, his credibility was on the line. Conviction and courage were nowhere to be found and the church member was left with a choice to sue and ruin the managing directors job or move on with a major loss. The church member felt convicted to move on, but always wished that managing director (church leader guy) would have done the right thing.

A Director and His Team

The project was off track and not going to plan. The pressure was mounting for the Director to get it back on track. Every check-in the team was getting blamed. One team leader, one employee at a time becoming the scapegoat for the Directors incompetency. The VP of the department was a frat brother with the Director. He knew the employees were losing opportunities due to the Directors poor leadership, but stayed quiet. The VP watched good people lose promotions and bonuses that impacted their families and future while his frat brother continued to drive the ship into the ditch.

We’ve all seen it, experienced it, and let’s be real - we’ve lacked it.

We can do better.

During chaos, during pressure - we can lose our conviction in an effort to make something right, but what I hope we realize is that when we lose our conviction, we lose ourselves. We lose our identity, we lose our purpose and passion.

We can do better. We need to do better. We have to do better.

Our spouses, our kids, our friends, our communities, our teams, our organizations depend on it.

In a society with more and more “conviction” on social media you would think we would see more conviction in our relationships. Just speaking our minds with a thumbs up or sharing a post … isn’t the definition of courage and conviction. It doesn’t build community or relationships. It leaves everything a bit short.

It’s like wearing Toms shoes and writing on your resume that you help an organization provide shoes to kids in third world countries. I’m not saying don’t post on social media and I’m not saying don’t buy Toms shoes, I’m just saying we do can do better. We can lead with conviction and courage.

Be Committed To Your Convictions

What do you believe? What do you stand for? What do you sacrifice for? What are your convictions? It’s one thing to say you value something and it’s another for your values to be seen by your actions. Need help finding what you value who you aspire to be? Work through the Insight Action Guide.

• Do you value having a healthy culture in your organization? What steps are you taking to intentionally create it.

• Do you value healthy team relationships? Would your team affirm that?

• Do you value your family? How much time do you spend focused on them?

• Do you value your spouse? Do they know?

I’m not trying to make you feel bad about anything, but if you do, I’m hoping you make a shift. The shift to align your values with your actions. The shift to lead with conviction and courage, not just work for the result.

We need to be committed to our convictions and that’s how we are going to lead with courage.

Lead with Conviction and Courage

We’ve all seen it. We remember vividly when we saw a leader lead with conviction and courage.

It was almost Christmas and the CEO was ready to make me the scapegoat. The project had been on plan according to our Fortune 100 client. They had reviewed all the content and our CEO had given approvals at all the checkpoints. Then when it was game time we learned our CEO read it for the first time and decided it was good enough. This was after two months of preparation and approvals. You can imagine my frustration and lack of empathy for our CEO as I showed him the emails with his approvals and kudos for doing a good job. The “proof” and happy client wasn’t making a big difference. My job was now on the line and I was ready to walk back out on my won. My boss stepped in on my behalf. He acted with conviction and courage when he could have let me become a scapegoat.

When have you seen it? (drop a line in the comments)

When have you done it? When you have led with conviction and courage?

Lets do this

When you lead well, you love the feeling of knowing you did what was right. You are energized and you came alive. We need for of that from you. The world needs that from you.

Can you imagine a world of leaders who lead with integrity and do the right thing? Can you imagine a world where ethics violations weren’t the norm? Can you imagine a world where team members are treated with respect and dignity through all circumstances?

Our hope is for you to be a leader worth following so you are a leader leaving a legacy worth remembering.

1) Remind yourself of your convictions

2) Be determined to lead from your convictions

3) Have the courage lead with conviction

We tell our kids that having courage doesn’t mean you aren’t scared. It means we don’t let fear keep us from doing what is right.

When you are under pressure and feeling out of control - that’s when conviction and courage should take a precedence over self-preservation. That’s when we should rise up, be leaders worth following, dig deep, and say, “I’m going to be proud of who I am” and lead forward.

If you want to work on being a courageous leader join our courageous leadership cohort kicking off February 4. Bring your team along with you.

2021 Planning Guide!

Leaders!

Here is your Insight Action Guide for 2021!

We are here to coach. If you get stuck, need help processing, need help gaining clarity - reach out and set up a coaching session ASAP. Don’t postpone gaining clarify and direction for the new year. Don’t let what you have no control over keep slamming into the rocks along the river - lead with intentionality and purpose. Be proactive instead of reactive and let’s have a great new year!

Urgent Vs Important | Lessons From a Funeral

We sat in a hotel lobby in rural Illinois with a poorly taxidermy mounted cross eyed coyote looking at everyone in the foyer. The family is pouring in from all over the country during COVID 19, masked up, ready to bury our grandfather. He had passed on Friday morning and we were all gathering on Saturday and Sunday.

As we pour into the only hotel in Princeton, Illinois, it’s clear how tired we all are. We dropped our work, changed our plans and either drove or flew too many hours to count.

It makes me wonder. How come we can we all drop our “work” in a moment to gather for a funeral, but we can’t drop our work in a moment to kick the ball in the yard with our kids, or take our spouse on a date, or mountain bike with a friend. (wondering for myself) When I’m stressed and overwhelmed, I drop the important and focus on the work.

I seem to make time for the urgently important, but not the important.

Why does it take so much to bring family together? How come we can’t make time for the important? Why does the urgent take precedence?

Maybe this week … begin focusing on the important … so we don’t get to the urgent and realize we’ve lost out all along.

We let the urgent take precedence in our families too often. What about at work?

How many of us focus on the fires instead of consistency? How many of us focus on the "crisis" instead of the plan? Then we wonder why the plans don't move forward as we planned? 

We are all trying to do our best, focus on what's important, but sometimes we let the urgent become the priority instead of letting what's most important remain the priority. 

I think it's important to remember that not everything is a crisis. Not everything is urgent. If we stick to the plan, maybe we have less urgency to worry about.

The Story That Almost Lost Me My Job

In 2006, I worked for Automatic Data Processing a Fortune 500 company that offers payroll and tax filing services. I sold payroll to businesses with 50 or less employees across the state of Kansas. My boss Todd Johnson reminded me of an older version of Mr. Clean without the earring.  We were out working one day when he asked me to pull into a Java Express.  As I drank a double shot of espresso, he asked me one of most difficult questions that I have ever been asked in a job.  “Is this what you really want to do for the rest of your life?”  I asked, “What do you mean, like this exact job, or working for ADP?”  He smiled and then said, “This is why you are a great salesperson”.  He asked the same question but in a more assuming way, “Working at a payroll company isn’t what you really want to do for the rest of your life is it?”

I was coming up on my 1-year anniversary with the company and had received a 12% raise in the first 3 months.  I had stock options, a 401k, and enjoyed selling to small business owners.  My wife was in Physician Assistant school, so I was the only person earning an income for the family. It felt like he was asking me to put all of that on the line when answering his question. 

I put my mini cup that had one shot of espresso left on the dashboard of the car, and then I asked him, “Can I be honest?”  He smiled, “If you can’t be honest then I am not doing my job right”

 I am not sure that many leaders feel the same way that Todd Johnson does.  I don’t know if leaders want honesty, I think they want their employees to tow the company line.  Do they really care if I love my job, love my life after work, or have other aspirations?  Do they think of me as an audience that needs to be engaged and captivated to perform at a higher level? Maybe they just expect me to perform at a high level because they pay me a salary and give me something to show off on my LinkedIn profile.  Leadership begins with connection and continues with honesty.

I took a deep breath and thought here goes nothing. “Honestly, I know I am good at sales and it pays the bills. I think no matter what I do I will always be selling, but if I could choose what I wanted to do, it would be to create something of my own.”  He said, “Alright tell me more.”  Some context for the reader, I have always dreamed of owning a sports complex and had some funding even lined up to potentially start building. I said, “Well, I would like to own a sports complex.”  As soon as it came out of my mouth, I was worried he would fire me and say enjoy raking the dirt on the baseball fields.  Instead something impactful happened that day that I will never forget.  Todd said, “Each & every day you are out here pounding the streets, knocking on doors, and getting hung up on, remember that you are doing this job for Watson Sports Complex!”

The next month I was rookie of the month and 278% of quota.  I shouldn’t tell you this part, but when they made the decision to shut down our satellite office, Todd Johnson asked me to come to Kansas City for a meeting.  I didn’t know it was going to be a lunch meeting with a job offer I couldn’t accept. He offered a job 2.5 hours away from my wife who was in Physician Assistant school. Obviously, that wouldn’t work out. He said go find another job or start breaking ground on Watson Sports Complex.

Finding a relatable perspective with your team members will be the most impactful thing that you do in 2021.  They have dreams and goals that might not be moving up the corporate ladder, but why is that a reason to not motivate them to give 110% while working for you and your team?

Many times, we find ourselves standing in a large open room with many people talking amongst themselves.  We notice that there are 1000s maybe 10,000 doors that surround the room.  How will we choose which door to step through?   We will choose the door that engages us, resonates with us, and gives us the courage to take the first step.

Are you opening the door for your team members to take the next best step in their careers or are you forcing them through the door?

Todd Johnson told me a narrative that drove me to work harder.  If you are not telling stories, finding relatable perspectives, and motivating your people according to their narrative then you are losing your audience.

Build Your Culture | 3 Culture Killers

Bean bag chairs.

Kegs.

Snacks.

Slides.

Rewards programs.

Ping-Pong.

These were the answers to fixing culture not too long ago. However, these awesome additions to the environment couldn’t rid the team of the three main culture killers. No amount of ping-pong and microbrews can help everyone love life at work and love life at home. Why? Because the 3 Culture Killers overpower the fun additions.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining about a good microbrew in the fridge at work, but let’s not kid ourselves. Those things don’t fix culture. Those things don’t fix “who” I’m about to share with you.

1) Vipers | Cultural Vipers are high performers who are individual performers. They suck the life out of everyone on the team, but keep hitting their numbers. Leaders are afraid to let Vipers work for someone else because of the numbers they hit. However, when you remove a viper from the team - your team usually flourishes. Their productivity is not worth the poison they inflict on everyone else whose on the team.

2) Sloths | Cultural Sloths are leaders who are slow to address challenges and issues that drain the team. When conflict arrives - sloths move too slow to resolve it and the issues get worse. A Cultural Sloth is a positional leader who does not address values, behaviors, attitudes and results that detract from the desired future state; thereby creating a new set of shadow values that slowly deteriorate an organization. (Shadow values are

3) Leech | A Cultural Leech is the person who always has a reason why something shouldn't be added or changed. They work in the margins to gain influence while disrupting productivity and momentum. They work under the radar until it’s too late to see what they’ve been doing all along.

Culture is created by the norms you allow in your organization. What is the acceptable way to make decisions? What is an acceptable way to communicate with the team? Are negative attitudes and backstabbing acceptable for high performers? Is collaboration OR individual performance celebrated?

Here’s a definition of culture: Culture is made up of the beliefs, values, attitudes, philosophies, artifacts and behaviors of an organization.

If you like your current culture - you are most likely doing something very intentional. If you don’t like your culture, you are most likely unintentionally creating something you don’t like.

There are two steps necessary to begin intentionally fixing your culture.

1) Write your desired culture down. Don’t worry about a perfect statement. Write a culture manifesto and keep reading it for a couple of weeks before moving forward with it.

2) Assess your current culture to know what and how to intentionally pivot towards your desired culture.

If you are ready to improve your culture and make your organization the best place to work give us a call. We can walk you through our Cultural Health Assessment to help you and your organization take a data-driven approach to improving the culture of your organization.

Employee Engagement: Is Isolation Plaguing Your Organization?

We have these conversations with top leaders across the country often…

• Our team is overwhelmed. Mental health challenges are constant.

• Our team feels isolated and unsupported now more now than ever.

• Our team has less work to do and is less productive. 

• Our team doesn't feel connected to what's happening in the rest of the organization.

Can you relate?

Leaders - these challenges keep creeping up and you keep working diligently to address them. It's been incredible to see and hear how you continue to try and support your team while growing the business and taking care of your clients, patients, vendors, and/or customers.

While we are all working hard to solve the isolation problem I think we have only been scratching at the surface and we can’t afford to allow this problem to keep permeating through our organizations.

Scratching the surface doesn’t solve the problem. It's like when companies tried to fix company culture with bean bag chairs, ping-pong tables, and kegs of beer. Yes - most people appreciated two out of three of those. However, all people appreciate feeling valued, heard, empowered and supported. How are you doing that for your team?

Scratching the surface doesn’t solve the problem. It's like the couple who is in constant marriage trouble. To try and solve the problem, they escape reality and go on a great vacation or buy the car they always wanted. It's great for a few weeks, but then reality sets in. The actual problems weren't solved and the dysfunction continues. (If this is you, sign up for the Life At Home Event!) 

Scratching the surface doesn’t solve the problem. Weekly toasts and virtual coffee breaks are valuable and helpful. However, they do not solve the isolation problem plaguing your organization.

People want to feel valued, heard, empowered and supported. People make it hard though. When we don't feel those things, we often make it difficult for others to provide them. We put our walls up… we make excuses… we get "busy". In the meantime, attitudes diminish along with the quality of our work and a culture of ownership, accountability, and excellence.

So what options do we have? Here are a few ideas on how to begin to solve the Isolation problem.

Clear Communication (Two-Way)
No one ever loved playing walkie-talkies with a kid who held the button down the whole time. If we can't dialogue, it's not engaging.

Here's what I'm saying: Communicate as much as you can to your organization as a fast as you can. Then, host a virtual coffee break to dialogue what you communicated. Facilitate conversation (real conversation) about the direction of the company, the values being lived out, the vision for the next year, etc... As well as the fear, questions, and doubts team members might have. Make sure to ask for feedback from your team. They may have great ideas or advice on how to bridge any communication gaps.

Clear Expectations 
Take a minute to review and possibly reset job descriptions and roles with your team members. As teams grow and projects shift, it's amazing to see how many great team members take on more than they should. At first it was helpful, but then it becomes detrimental to them and the team. With clear expectations, you can more effectively and authentically support your team.

Clear Check-In Process
Remember: People want to feel valued, heard, empowered and supported. Providing clear and consistent check-ins creates a systemized process for you to lead and your teams to know you are supporting them. This is a priority. How do you solve the isolation problem plaguing your organization? Stop allowing isolation to occur in your organization. Be courageous and lead forward. Do not let fear, insecurity and uncomfortability (new word) win out over good leadership.

201° Performance Management Training
One of the most helpful tools we have been providing our clients has been the 201° Performance Management Training. The system provides the backdrop needed for leaders to move forward and employees to lead up while feeling supported. We see trust returning, productivity increasing and isolation diminishing. 

I'm not saying the solution is simple. Mental health, emotional health, physical health - all of these things take time to overcome. However, time itself does not solve the problem. It's like physical health. If you never eat healthy or exercise, you won't get healthy. It's the consistency over time that makes all the difference.

It's the consistency of your leadership, the health of your leadership over time that can make significant impacts on your team and organization.

Reach out if you are ready to solve the isolation problem and improve the accountability and ownership challenges that so many are facing right now. We will walk you through it, so you can lead forward.

Communication Doesn't Have To Suck

How come communication is consistently ranked low on most organization feedback surveys?

How come leaders who had great relationships with peers struggle to communicate effectively when they advance up the ladder?

How do you find your voice as a leader, support your leaders, and instill a healthy culture across your team and/or organization?

These questions are more and more prevalent in the virtual world. The answers are not highly complex, but it will take intentionality to become a more effective strategic communicator.

Think of it this way: When my home is in chaos, it is usually because of a lack of communication. My wife didn’t remember me saying something or I did not say something clearly. My boys didn’t remember us asking them to wash the dishes or we didn’t communicate it clear enough. (I’m sure you’ve never experienced this…)

There are a few ways to solve this problem.

Picture after good communication …

• Option 1 | Yell and scream and the first one to give in loses, thus proving the most stubborn spouse is the best communicator.

• Option 2 | Go silent and stop verbally communicating creating a house of tension and awkwardness for everyone.

Quite frankly, those are two crappy options that I see see spouses take far too often and sadly I see it in the workplace as well. If you need to work on that click this link. (Love Life At Home)

• Option 3 | Communicate verbally, clarify alignment, write it down, and share the calendar.

When my wife and I share our plans, remind one another of those plans and write those plans down - we love Life at Home (most of the time!). Usually the alignment happens during the follow-up conversation.

We have plenty of things going on, so it’s easy to forget something. Our weekly game plan helps with this.

I hope you are getting the point. Conflict happens when communication doesn’t. Just because you remember saying something, doesn’t mean you have communicated effectively, influentially or strategically.

Your goal is to gain alignment and Buy-In. Your goal is to help every employee feel empowered to do their jobs and to have clarity in what their job is. Things change and so clarity becomes more challenging during change.

• How are you going to provide clarity to your organization?

• How are you going to gain alignment?

• How are you going to lead through constant change and keep a healthy culture?

• The answer rests in effective, clear and consistent communication.

• Here are some tactics. you might try.

Tactic 1: Always share vision, strategy, and celebrations during company wide and leadership meetings.

You will feel like you are beating the drum into the ground. But I promise, once you stop beating the drum, the wrong beat will start to be played. You set the tone, so you must set it consistently.

Tactic 2: Forums with teams across all departments

Share vision and communicate desired culture. Then ask what you can do to help everyone love their Life at Work. Anything you can change - change it quickly . The CEO of Delta Dental did this and two changes made a big impact to their morale. He added Sprite to the soda machine and paper towels to the bathrooms. Sometimes the changes are not hard; they are just not thought of. Listen, respond, and watch the team improve.

Tactic 3: Make Rounds

Spend time walking through the office and talk to your team.

• Ask: “What’s something exciting that you are working on?”

• Ask: “How are your kids doing?”

• Ask: “What’s your new favorite restaurant?”

The key to building relationships is to be authentic and personal. You are the leader, so people can easily think you are unapproachable. This happens in small companies and large companies. Making rounds can break down that stereotype and improve the ability for you to be heard.

Tactic 4: Daily or Weekly Updates

Send out daily or weekly updates with stories of the vision and mission being lived out in the organization across all levels. As Donnie Smith, Former CEO of Tyson says, “What you talk is about is people believe is important.” Your words and your stories will influence the attitudes, behaviors, ethics, (culture) of your organization. Share metrics, updates, reasons for change, etc.. and keep people in the known and aligned.

Problem Most Likely Solved

When you leverage all 4 tactics, you will have a much better shot at actually communicating with clarity in your organization. If you only try one tactic, it’s kind of like only saying something once to your spouse and choosing to believe that’s enough.

If you need help creating the right tactics and messaging for you and your organization, we can help you get to where you need to go. Just shoot an email to Michael@insightlg.com today.

6.5 Tips On Managing Leadership Stress

Stress has been taking it’s toll on us. How are you going to fight back? How are you going to manage the leadership stress and love Life at Work and love Life at Home?

Stress, anxiety, insecurity, lack of stability … have plagued our productivity.

You are feeling the stress. The number one request this summer has been for trainings to help teams practice emotional intelligence. You know: manage emotions, be healthy and be able to keep working.

Quite frankly - I was feeling the stress. I was pushing through, but it was catching up. It had been too long since I checked out and reset. During the past few weeks, I found time to take a mini trip with my wife, with my family and with some friends (so, a total of 3 trips). I reset and recharged.

How do I stay recharged? Here are some top tips:

6.5 Tips on Managing Leadership Stress

Tip 1 | Plan

• Take 20 minutes on Sunday nights to plan as a family. (Read our story here)

• Take 20 minutes every Friday to plan out your work for Monday. Planning for Monday creates a stop on Friday and helps Monday start with instant productivity and engagement.

• Be sure your plan includes the activities you need to do to make sure you are the parent, spouse, leader and friend you want to be.

Tip 2 | Eat

• More specifically. Eat well. Enjoy breakfast, enjoy lunch and enjoy dinner. Enjoy how you feel in-between meals.

• Plan who you want to eat meals with at work and at home. Intentionally connect with family and friends.

Tip 3 | Move

• Stand up and stretch. Touch your toes (or try to!). Bring exercise bands into the office.

• Take a walk around the block or ride a bike to your next meeting.

Tip 4 | Enjoy

• Do what you love to do (as long as it’s not binge watching TV … )

• Find something that brings enjoyment and fulfillment.

  • kick the ball in the yard with your kids even when you are tired

  • go biking (mountain or road)

  • go fishing

  • play golf

  • sit on the porch and read a book with paper or just sit and reset

  • garden

Tip 5 | Consistency

• Know your values and consistently lead by them. Stress and the unknown can lead to pragmatic justification. Stay focused on your core values and consistently go from there.

Tip 6 | Be Honest

• Leaders fill in the blanks with assumptions and those assumptions are usually worse than what is real. Be honest with your team about expectations, opportunities, and challenges. Fill the unknown in with clear communication about what you do know.

Tip 6.5 | Be Hopeful

• Communicate with honesty and hope. Hope keeps leaders moving towards tomorrow. Hope pushes through the uncertainty with the idea that it will get better. It’s your job to share hope.

Bonus Tip

Take your vacation days even if you are vacationing near home. Don’t miss out on the opportunity to recharge with your family.

If you and your family are struggling to reset and recharge, join our Life At Home Event in November or send a key leader who could benefit. Here’s the link. https://insightlg.com/life-at-home

Top 4 Tips On Leading Stressed Out Leaders

Anxiety. Stress. Fear. 

You may not have it. You may not understand it. 
However, you need to be equipped to lead teams through it.

Many of your team members are struggling to get out of bed in order to start work. They are struggling to go to bed because of work.

Here are 4 tips that you can begin immediately to help lead stressed out leaders.

Tip 1 | Provide Consistent and Clear Communication

Now more than ever you need to provide clear communication to your teams. They fill in the blanks with assumptions that hurt you, them and the organization. Communicate clearly and consistently. Even if you think they should know or should know why - you need to remind them. Leaders complaining about over-communication is better than assumptions made from no communication.

Tip 2 | Provide Consistent Check-Ins

Leaders need to know where they stand and check-ins provide that assurance. You need to know what’s happening with your leaders and without consistent check-ins, you really can’t be sure. Our check-in process has helped leaders across the country improve relationships and results.

Tip 3 | Provide Organizational Clarity

Leaders under stress are living in the fog of the Appalachians. It’s tough to see 5 feet in front of you. Give them the clarity they need to see what’s important and what to focus on. This is not your chance to micro-manage; this is your chance to develop your team and create a culture of ownership.

Tip 4 | Provide Training

Quality effective training and coaching can help your leaders overcome barriers and stress faster than any other type of development. If you believe in your leaders and need to help them overcome, call us today. We can help.

Bonus Tip: Provide coffee breaks on Zoom or in the office. Conduct meetings outside and walk the long way to the meeting. Ask your team members to walk during a portion of the meeting to help them recharge and get active.

Many of your leaders are stressed and it is impacting every aspect of their life at work and at home. While you cannot fix it for them - you can make sure you are doing what you can as a leader to help empower them.

Top Tips To Start The Week Off Right At Home | Weekly Game Plan

This last Sunday night, my hot wife and I implemented our Weekly Game Plan Strategy again. (I’ve entitled it that… she usually just rolls her eyes and grabs her planner. Haha!) 

It’s been awhile since we’ve needed to do it. It’s been a long “spring-break.”  We were already exhausted by the end of that Sunday and my ***-hole tone of voice rang through my bride's ears like an Alanis Morissette song.

Every Sunday for the last few years, we’ve been game-planning the week. (Again- my words… it must be the coach in me.) The Game Plan helps us avoid unnecessary frustrations, arguments and surprises. The Game Plan helps us to find opportunities for rest, dates, family dinners, and time with our kids.

We have:

4 kids. 

4 Different Grade Levels

3 Locations.

Multiple Teams (Sports, Business and Church-Related)

+ COVID 

+ Growing a Business

Next week, I’m going to work on having a better tone of voice… but this week, I wanted to share the Game Plan with you. 

Our mission is help leaders love Life at Work and love Life at Home. It’s a constant challenge because disruptions are never-ending, but we can’t let disruptions dictate our quality of life and family.

Here’s our Weekly Strategy Game Plan:

Each spouse gathers their relevant weekly schedule, meetings, appointments, plans, etc… We pull out the kids' schedules. Then plan out each day before Monday morning arrives. (We usually try to plan a couple weeks out and sometimes the month— BUT at least, the coming week.)

• Who drops off who - when and where.

• Who picks up who - when and where.

• Will any meetings get in the way of the routine? (Work through that TOGETHER- and by that I mean, work out conflicts together.)

• When are you going to enjoy a date?

• What are you going to plan for meals?

• Who’s working where?

• Have kids pack their lunches and get their sports bags together.

• If trips are coming up in the next two to four weeks- go ahead and remind one another about those plans.

Frustration and anxiety creep in when we are surprised. Take the time to plan your weeks together and avoid the miscommunication pitfalls. Then, review daily because people forget and life happens.

What do you do at home to make sure you and your spouse are ready to enjoy the week?

Lead intentionally, so you can love Life at Home and love Life at Work.

Racism Through A Child's Eye

Michael’s Take: Growing up - I heard derogatory comments on a regular basis. They always hit closer to home than peers would have been able to see from the color of my skin.

I’m white. Like, really white. If I’m outside for 22 minutes, my skin turns red. The color of someone’s skin doesn’t tell a person’s story. I love going to Doomsday Coffee in Fayetteville. Rosie is one of the owners and is from Mexico. She always jokes about how we share the same homeland and her cooking and accent brings me back to my Aunt Arlene’s house in El Paso.

My dad was born in Chihuahua, Mexico. He was an illegal immigrant until I was 13 years old. We’ve all heard the racist and derogatory comments towards Hispanics. Growing up in North Carolina and Missouri, everyone had plenty of zingers they thought were funny. The perspective on how people are from all walks of life and parts of the world (making them each uniquely incredible) was lost on these zinger-giving-people.

I remember walking across the border from El Paso to Juarez with my family in 4th or 5th grade. We ate at a hole in the wall restaurant and one of the young men serving recognized my grandfather from decades ago in Chihuahua. He came over and gave him a long hug. That moment is ingrained in my memory and makes me proud of my family. It shows that across borders my family treated everyone with respect and dignity that transcends generations. It made me proud of my family and made me want to be like them in that way.

When the insults and poorly formed jokes were flowing in my communities, I found myself correcting them quite often. Feeling the sting every time.The racism towards Hispanics was always out in the open as if it was acceptable behavior. Disgusting and accepted.

The racism towards the black community was a bit more suppressed. It was subtle because it was not socially accepted behavior, it was passive. Maybe in the passivity it’s even more dangerous. More volatile. It’s like hearing the passive comments from from an in-law at Thanksgiving. If you address them it’s going to be awkward … “I didn’t say that”, “I didn’t mean that”, etc… Meanwhile the damage and the pain is there and brooding even more.

What we all know is what is lurks beneath the surface at some point comes up. The racism of a police officer impacts their work. The racism of an HR leader fosters a culture of discrimination. The racism of a CEO influences the decisions of a leadership team. Subtle or overt - people know and grow weary.

The country has grown tired of it. Everyone is tired of the hatred. I hope…

A few years ago we were in Memphis, enjoying great BBQ, we saw the basketball great Grant Hill and then walked the Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial. We talked to our kids about racism in the past and they were confused and didn’t understand it. In our church, in our community, they didn’t see how or why people would be so hateful.

It pains me to sit across the from the table and teach them about the hatred that still continues today. I wanted them to grow up in a better world. What pains me more is knowing that my friends with black children have to not only teach their kids about racism they have to prepare them for when they experience it. Prepare them for discrimination. Prepare them for when they get pulled over. Prepare them for when they get passed over.

So how do we respond in all of this?

What do we do?

Can we make company policies? Yes.

Can we vote better leaders in? Yes.

Does that solve the problem? No.

Racism and hatred stems from our homes and bleeds into our communities and places of work. It’s the responsibility of everyone to no longer turn a blind eye and say, “that’s just [insert name], they don’t mean it”.

It’s no longer okay to passively allow hatred to infiltrate our work places while applying for awards like “Diversity Employer of the Year”.

We can’t legislate discrimination away - our commitment to valuing people has to rid our companies of fostering the ability for hate to live.

It’ looks like this:

A COO changing a bank’s policy so single black women can receive promotions based on performance and are given opportunities for continued certifications. This versus being stuck in poverty perpetuating low-level jobs while walking by the slave trade memorial on their way home from work.

A HR Leader taking the stance to not allow racist leaders to work at the company, even when that meant disrupting the norms of the location and community.

A Communications leader encouraging a team member to write a heartfelt blog to the company to open the conversation of real life to give everyone the courage and confidence to dialogue .

This is a time for business leaders to realize that this is simply about doing what is right. It’s about treating others they way you would want to be treated. It’s not about politics. It’s not about the bottom line. It’s not about a slogan.

It’s about doing the right thing and I pray you have the courage to do so. If you don’t know how - we can help you. We can’t continue as we have been and think the world will get better. Our kids need a better world than this. Let’s not wait for them to create it. Let’s finally move the needle forward. It’s time.

Laura’s Take:

I grew up in the heart of Detroit - 5 Mile Rd. & Grand River Ave. You’ll hear me joke that Eminem had it easy over there on 8 Mile Rd. since the typical rule of thumb was that the lower you got in the mile markers, the rougher the neighborhoods got.

As a kid, I had no idea that it was a rough part of town that I called home. I knew that I had great neighborhood friends, that I laughed, played, stayed outside until the lights came on, etc. I felt safe. I knew I was loved. I was happy. I was color blind.

Now, I’m not going to say that everything was perfect, we did live in a rough part of town. I remember having my brand new bike stolen right after my 5th birthday. Of course I was sad and angry and confused. When things like this happened, and they did regularly, my dad would pull us together and explain that whoever it was that took our bike or whoever it was that broke into our house, that they needed those items more than we did. Not in a dismissive way, but in a way that opened our tiny eyes to the fact that others didn’t have the same things we did…and it didn’t make them bad people. They were just in need. We learned early to try to think about what others might be going through before jumping to conclusions.

You see, early in life we develop the ability to distinguish between kindness and meanness. That was the most important characteristic in our forming brains..is this person being a nice friend or are they being mean to me? That’s what mattered. I didn’t care that my friends had darker skin than I did. I thought it was cool and can remember often saying, “I wish my skin could be brown like yours”. I was the minority in this situation and was envious of what others had that I did not.

I’ve obviously grown up and have had experiences along the way that have educated me in the realities of how different I was than my childhood friends. Not only the color of my skin, but also in how we were treated, how people looked at us, how I was afforded privileges that they were not. The hardest lesson that I learned (and continue to learn) is that my own unique experience was not the same for others. Not my black friends and not my white friends. Not everyone had the same type of parents who encouraged respect and understanding. Not everyone had the pleasure of growing up in a culturally diverse community. Not everyone chose to be kind. I was blinded by my own experience and had to consider how other people’s experiences may have seeded beliefs and behaviors that were unimaginable to me.

Here’s where the rubber met the road for me though. I had a choice to make as an adult. What pieces of my upbringing would I hold on to and what would I choose to change through education and experience? I could choose to stay in a state of disbelief and confusion. I could choose to believe that everyone was raised like me and the world was a happy, loving place where everyone got along. I could choose ignorance or I could choose to open my eyes to the injustice that was surrounding me.

I chose the latter and was determined to be steadfast in my values. I decided to pursue a career in Human Resources to make sure that I was in a position that could eradicate the injustices of the workplace. I chose to make a small difference where I could.

Every job interview I’ve ever been on, when asked the question, “what are your weaknesses?”, my response was consistent. I would say, “I have no tolerance for unnecessary rudeness (mean people) or disrespect of others”. Period. Zero tolerance. That was my answer then and would be today as well. You can imagine that answer wasn’t always seen in a positive light. I can remember being told that my stance on these items was too harsh and that, in HR, I needed to practice more diplomacy in situations where rudeness or disrespect would arise. When that happened, I would have a choice again. A choice to remain centered in my values and lead accordingly in an effort to shift the culture in the right direction, or a choice to let company politics dictate how I would lead.

It’s hard to consistently do the right thing and lead in a way that you can be proud of. You will be tested, that’s the reality, but you always have a choice. You can choose to make a positive impact in the injustice that is playing out in front of our eyes. Choose to be the leader, parent, community member that makes a difference, right where you are - no matter where that is. Whether it’s the streets of Detroit, the country club golf course, or the boardroom. They all provide the same opportunity for you to treat people with kindness, respect, and appreciation for what uniquely brought us each to this moment in time.

What I wouldn’t give to have our world be the place that I thought it was…when I had the eyes of a child. Unfortunately it’s not, but it doesn’t mean that I can’t make a choice every day to open those eyes and make a difference. Will you?

The Day My Face Slid Across 2x4's

Have you ever moved forward rapidly without fully preparing?

Have you ever made quick decisions that left you wishing you hadn’t?

It was a beautiful day in Northwest Arkansas and we were riding all over Slaughter Pen Trails for the first time with no need to pay attention to the time. I finally felt like I was ready to jump again. It had been years, but I finally felt ready. I mean - I had jumped 6 inches that day so what’s 4-6 feet?

My buddy said, “do you want me to video tape you?”. How can I say no to an epic video that would show my wife that I still have athletic abilities?

Then it happened. My face slid across 2 x 4’s for the first time and prayerfully the last …

When you think you are ready and then you painfully realize you are not!

There are many leadership and life lessons to share from this crash …

Here’s the lesson of the day: If I would have looked down the trail a bit further I could have prepared for what was coming. I would have realized the “ramp” wasn’t really a ramp … I would have had a better chance to execute well or could have chosen a different path.

Sometimes we get excited, we think we are ready, and we aren’t. The problem is that we are leaders not just mountain bikers. We have teams relying on us to lead well. While we can get up and shake it off - our teams might not get up as easily. Mistakes are more costly and painful. They cost us at our jobs and they cost us at home.

This time - there is too much at stake. Everyone has already felt the pain and anxiety from COVID 19 - they don’t need more.

How are you going to continue to develop your leadership and management to help yourself and your teams avoid sliding across the 2x4’s. at work?

A few tips:

• Slow down before you start going fast. Give yourself the time to prepare.

• Don’t rely on what you used to know to navigate every decision. Keep learning and pay attention to the new challenges you have not been through yet.

• Gain clarity on where you are going and how you plan to get there. A good plan gives you a solid shot to execute it.

If you need help finding clarity or improving your leadership and management to avoid the pitfalls give us a call.

Empty Nester

My youngest son, Luca, is about to go to college (insert, “But you’re too young to have a college student” here). 

He’s one of the 2020 graduates that missed it all…prom, graduation and the much-anticipated Lacrosse match against the rival high school.  It’s been a strange few months for sure. 

In addition to all of that, Covid has blessed me with the opportunity to generally have more time in thought.  When the normal hustle and bustle is slowed - even if it’s just weekend errands - I start thinking.  And, the question that keeps running through my mind is, “what am I going to do when he’s gone?”.  Now, I have some experience already with a child leaving home thanks to my 23-year-old, so it’s less about the fear of Luca on a college campus and independence shenanigans that come along with that.  Instead it’s been about how I will fill my time.  Afterall, wine and Netflix can’t become the long-term hobby that I embrace. 

My husband travels weekly, so it will be me and the dog, Remi, for the most part.  Now, she’s a sweet pup and she’s also really well behaved…which means she’s quiet too.  That doesn’t help when it comes to feeling like you’re in an empty house!  I’ve had lots of ideas on how to fill my evenings:

• I’m really going to learn Spanish now

• I’m going to learn to play the guitar that is gathering dust

• I’m going to be the most fit 40-something year old in Fayetteville

• I’m going to volunteer to go hold babies at the hospital

• I’m going to fully engage in a food-insecurity program to help feed the community

• I’m going to start doing, one by one, those Pinterest DIY projects (thanks for the idea, Mom!)

Here’s the truth though.  I made a conscious decision about a year ago to start loving life again.  Loving life at home and loving life at work.  For me, it meant looking at my skills and experience and figuring out how I could apply them differently in both aspects to really align more closely to my passions.  It meant taking a leap of faith with life at work, despite how much I loved my teams and employer, so that I could also love life at home.  See, I used to be a workaholic.  Yes, I’m admitting it.  If you would have asked me back then, I would have denied it until I was blue in the face.  I would’ve said, “No, I’m just so busy and don’t want my team to feel all the pressure…I can work late again to cover it”, or “It’s just this one initiative, it will lighten up soon”, or “This is just part of the job, we’re all working so much right now, it’s not just me”.  Hmmm.  Sound familiar?

So, as I’ve been pondering the empty nest(ish) scenario in my very near future, I couldn’t help but wonder if I would be considering the same hobbies a year ago.  The answer was a bit painful to process since this is also when I had the workaholic realization.  To save you the suspense, I know I wouldn’t be thinking about fun ways to learn something new or make a difference in my community.  I can say with 100% confidence that I would have been taking on one more project, staying 2 hours later at work, picking up the travel and trying to manage it all so that others could enjoy their lives outside of the office…yup, without consideration of my own life beyond those four walls. Ugh.  I get exhausted just talking about it.

This isn’t about a pity party for Laura though.  I made all those decisions on my own.  And then I finally made a different one.  It was an intentional and very conscious one that I made then and every day since.  It’s no joke that changing 20 years of ingrained behavior is hard to do. 

(Michael Brown interjecting here!) There came a point in time that Laura decided she had to make a shift. I saw it happening over a six-month period. She was waking up to the lack of sustainability of her rooted-in-kindness-and-caring-for-her-team-work-a-holic norm.

I’ve known her since 2014 when she was my client. Everyone on her team loves her, her leaders respect her, and her peers seek her input. Even after leaving her previous role, this continues! She’s the best at what she does and makes everyone around her feel appreciated, valued and effective. Her strategy for success wasn’t sustainable though. She was self-sacrificing left and right. Then she decided to make a shift. Months later she made it. Her husband and family were supportive, and she wrestled through it, she left a great job and a great team to reset. She called it retirement. I called it, preparing for Insight Leadership Group.

Knowing her now, you wouldn’t get a sense that she was ever a work-a-holic. She delivers on every promise and consistently makes sure we are not overworking while making work fun. She makes sure we are valuing our families and following through with the Insight Health Initiative to make sure our team is exercising and eating right. She made a massive change in her life. She was hesitant to put that in here because not everyone needs to, or can relate to, leaving a great career to make a shift. However, you may need to make some other shifts to be healthy.

Now we work with leaders to help them leverage their strengths so they can love life at work and love life at home. I’m forever grateful she made the change!

You might feel the pain points Laura made clear and the answer might not be to find a new job. The answer might be to find a new way to be successful in your role. Okay – back to Laura …

You may not be dealing with kids leaving home, but my guess is that you are also dealing with some type of transition that is weighing on your mind.  Whether it’s dealing with off-site teams, bringing employees back, figuring out how you’re going to deal with your sweet babies that don’t want you to go back to the office, etc.  Change is on the horizon and we can get real about it or try our best to ignore it and fall back into our old routines, doubling down our efforts. 

Choose to make healthy decisions.  You can do it.  Break the script and lead differently through the ReEntry process so you can Emerge Stronger. Purchase and begin the Leader’s Field Guide to ReEntry today.