Are You Really a Micromanager?

Getting Real About Micromanaging and Being Micromanaged

Are you a micromanager or being micromanaged? Let’s find out! 

During an election season there are two things I think we can all agree on.  

1. No one likes to be micromanaged.

2. Leaders who “micromanage” are exhausted and exhausting.

Do we agree?! 

Here’s where some might disagree. 

96.3% of employees who accuse a manager of micromanaging are overwhelmingly underperforming team members. 

There are a few instances during the past 15 years in this industry that I’ve seen leaders try to micromanage highly capable leaders. The vast majority of those examples are team members complaining because they don’t appreciate accountability and lack taking ownership. Team members perceive feedback and direction as micromanaging even when performance metrics and poor attitudes persist. 

Here are three examples to consider:

• Example 1) Recently a new leader was hired to take over a team that had been leaderless for over a year. The perception was that this team was doing fine, but the new leader quickly realized the gap between what was reported and what was actual. The new team started hurling the career crippling word to HR: “Our new boss is micromanaging us!”

• Example 2) The executive leader was reported to HR for being controlling and micromanaging. The other six teams under this leader provide positive feedback, but for some reason this one team was frustrated. Development sessions, listening meetings, coaching, etc., all led to more complaints. Meanwhile the team performance was abysmal. 

• Example 3) The executive leader promoted his former team and hired new leadership team members. The team dynamics changed, but the leader did not change the way he interacted. Very quickly the team started to feel like they were not empowered and were being micromanaged. The executive had to learn not to provide input too early because the input was heard as orders instead of ideas.

If you have led well for any length of time, I’m sure you’ve been accused of micromanaging. If you have had a season where your performance didn’t measure up, I’m sure you accused your manager of micromanaging you (if you’re being honest, right?).

So, what do we do about this?

If you think you are being micromanaged …

If you answer, “yes,” to 2 out of 3 questions (below) you are most likely NOT being micromanaged … 

1. Is there a gap between performance and clarified expectations? I’m not talking about your attitude or character here. I’m simply asking you to look at the data. 

2. Do you point the finger at others when results don’t hit the target? 

3. Do you complain about your team, clients and role more than you encourage and celebrate others? 

If the answer is “yes”, then there is a clear reason your manager is leaning in more than you appreciate. They are either trying to make sure you hit the mark, or they are trying to develop and support you. I’m not saying your managers approach is spot on, I’m just saying that you need to be aware that your performance needs to improve. The only way your performance improves is if you learn to lead and execute more effectively than you have been.

For example:

• You are in sales and you have not hit your targets the past 3 months. Your effort is great, but the manager might be trying to help you grow so you can hit your targets.

• You are a project manager and projects are not even close to being on time or on budget, so you are blaming everyone else for not scoping the project correctly and not managing change requests well. But, at the end of day, it’s your responsibility. Your manager might be trying to help you lead through influence to help you achieve the goal.

To make sure this stays fair. 

Are you a micromanager? (Take an introspective look and be honest!!) 

1. Do you provide too much instruction to team members who are achieving and accomplishing their goals? 

2. Do you have to approve every outgoing message from a team member who hasn’t had a complaint in the past 6-8 months? 

3. Do you get frustrated if a team member attempts to accomplish their work in a way that you typically wouldn’t and you end up discussing your frustration with them? 

If you answer “yes” to 2 out of 3 of these questions, then you might be a micromanager! Just own it! As the trains in the UK say, “See it. Say it. Sorted.”

Here’s the deal. No one wants to be micromanaged and no one wants to be a micromanager. 

If you are being micromanaged because you aren’t performing – let’s up your game. If you are micromanaging someone who is hitting it out of the park – slow your roll and improve your openness to learn. If you are trying to develop a team member who is not hitting the mark – let’s try to develop them more effectively. 

How do you do that? 

From a high-level perspective, we (at Insight) think about managing as a coach. Step 1 to this process is providing clear expectations and knowing your team. Know their personality and strengths.

Then we look at two questions you can see on the images below.

Don’t just use this rubric by yourself if you are a manager. Show it to your team member(s) to discuss where you see them on the chart for this next project or task. Have a conversation and get on the same page. 

We know these conversations can be discomforting … kind of like talking politics at the Thanksgiving table. After you drop the question, you aren’t sure where the relationship will be by dessert. That’s no way to love life at work and love life at home. 

Set up three coaching sessions to navigate how to have these conversations with your team. We will dive deep into your scenario and context to help you think through what’s happening and how to navigate it like a pro coach. 

We don’t promise a smooth political conversation! But we do have a high success rate in helping managers build healthier relationships with their team members while navigating the shift from micromanagement to team member development. 

Shoot michael@insightlg.com a note to set up coaching with one of the Insight Coaches and let’s close out 2024 strong so we can move past the micromanaging life in 2025. 

Set a time to talk through coaching today.

Cheers,

Michael Brown

The Best Laid Plans …

The Joy of Priorities Driving Plans

The trip was laid out. Restaurants were researched and selected. Experiences were reserved. Everything was on a spreadsheet. We were ready to roll.

Two weeks ago, my wife and I along with another couple went on an epic one-week adventure to London, Edinburgh (no matter how you say it – someone will correct you!) and a village outside of Inverness. The “Green” in the group is a former engineer who laid everything we planned on the spreadsheet.

 This was our first “spreadsheet” vacation. I’ll tell you what, the planning allowed us to enjoy the trip without thinking through random details that can erode your time spent. You know what I’m talking about: the infamous 2-hour questions about where we are going to eat … then not eating until we are hangry. 

 What’s interesting is how the detailed planning allowed for awesome spontaneity.  However, even with detailed plans, plans can fall apart. We had an epic e-bike ride planned to a village 5 miles away. Seemed easy enough … but the area is called “the highlands” for a reason.

Just for your information … when you select “bike path” on Google maps in Scotland, you might end up on a sketchy mountain bike path through fields and forests. The plan was for a smooth country path to the restaurant by the sea not the latter … and some people weren’t too excited about it! Some plans don’t account for every detail. 

 We finally arrived at the restaurant with gluten free fish and chips and it was closed. Google Maps said it was open, but the locals say they close and open whenever they want. Even the best plans can quickly fall apart.

We were on the verge of the hangry phase and the only other restaurant in the town was a block away. The meal at IV10 was one of the greatest lunches we’ve ever experienced. It was amazing food and customer service from a family run business. No amount of planning could have prepared us for that meal, but, without the planning, we would have never ridden bikes there.

Great priority driven planning allows for spontaneous decisions to make plans better. Poor planning fosters chaos.   

 For some reason we see two extremes in business. 

• We see detailed plans and positive disruptions leading to great experiences and top performance.

• We see poor planning and leaders wasting time and resources trying to move the needle forward with the team.

Do a quick gut check:

Which camp do you tend to live in more often? _________________

Which camp would your team say you live in? ____________________

 Every business, project, and leader might plan differently. However, every leader needs a process for planning the short term and the long term. Without a solid plan how you can make strategic decisions based on top priorities that drive the business forward? 

 Here are a few questions? 

• Can you quickly share what your top priorities are?

• Does your calendar and time spent reflect your top priorities? 

• Does your team know what’s most important and are they aligned? 

 If the answers aren’t as easy as they should be – it might be time to consider coaching to help you get you and your team ready to roll through 2024 and start 2025 ready to dominate. 

 Remember – when you plan, something will go wrong. Don’t be scared. Follow the priorities and keep driving to accomplish the goal. Who knows – you might end up with something better than you planned. 

Which Voice Wins?

Navigating Towards Better Choices Despite the Noise

Which voice wins?

Example 1: Passionate Defense

We were all sitting around the board room table engaged in discussing the priorities of the organization and if the executive director was on track with the KPIs. We started looking at the data and asking questions because what we had been briefed on did not match what we were reading.

The conversation was calm and supportive, but then one leader began to speak with passion for the mission while frustrated that we did not track performance in the same way she did.

Suddenly, the table was filled with “noise” … subtle jabs … subtle threats … reminders of progress.

Then it happened. Everyone backed down despite the KPIs not being fulfilled.

Have you been at that table … working towards a healthy team striving for success and then defensiveness because of passion takes precedence over ownership and vision?

Example 2: Stressful “Crisis”

The client called on Friday morning frantically asking for deliverables. The lead was overcome by the stress of the client and started saying, “yes, we can take care of that by EOD.” The lead was nervous while the client was stressed. Now the budget was blown on deliverables that were not planned for, contracted, and/or actually needed. In addition to the budget, the team had to work until midnight to deliver the promise by EOD Friday.

You can imagine the “camaraderie” the team had knowing they were working on a project that was generated out of stress and accepted out of reckless accommodation. They completed the project and didn’t hear back from the stressed-out client for two weeks …

Have you been there? So taken over by someone else’s stress that you overlook the irrationality of a request? Instead of being a trusted advisor you let the “noise” wreck the start of a weekend for your team?

Example 3: Angry and Loud

The leader walked in after a long morning of nothing going right. They were out of milk at home, so he couldn’t have his favorite cereal! He got in the car and realized the gas tank was on “E”. The first phone call was a project update that wasn’t positive. You get the picture, “nothing was going right.”

Then, everyone convenes for the team meeting. Sarah is talking about kids’ sports, Bill is updating everyone on fantasy football and Jill is passing out homemade cookies. The leader is fed up at this point and lights everyone up. He takes charge of the meeting, dominates the conversation and pushes bad ideas forward.

The team just sits and listens afraid to speak up even though they know bad decisions are being made and their week of work is going down the drain.

Everyone is trying to help, but not everyone is helpful in the moment.

What situation are you in?

Organizational | Is the problem in your situation organizational? Do you work in a culture where loud voices and passion drive decisions rather than logic and reason?

• If this is the issue it’s time to hit reset on your meeting and decision-making culture. Define how you want it to work and roll it out to the team effectively. Need help? Bring in the Insight team and we will help you get to where you need to go.

Peer | Is the problem in your situation personnel? Do you work with a peer who continually speaks up, influences direction and is usually wrong?

• Prepare to speak up with questions and/or options and work towards finding a solution that works without accommodating to the loudest voice. If you speak up, others around the table might begin to offer input as well.

• Sometimes the loudest voice is just trying to solve the problem, and they can get behind a better solution. (key word – sometimes)

Manager | Is the problem more challenging? Do you work for a leader who makes it very difficult to speak up?

• During one-on-one meetings attempt to bring new ideas or solutions to the table and be prepared to answer direct questions. Let the leader know it is challenging to speak up in meetings and ask for advice on how to most effectively speak and offer different ideas.

Sometimes we need to learn to speak up.

Sometimes we need to learn to challenge.

Sometimes we need to lead through and change the culture.

Sometimes we need to lean into the direction we know is right.

Sometimes we need to simply do our jobs.

It’s amazing what can happen when we tune out the wrong noise and tune into the right voices. It’s amazing what can happen when we learn to address the challenge, continue to bring value and not let the “noise” drown out rational wisdom.

What’s That Noise?

Discerning the “Noise” from the Necessary

Noise.

What and who are you listening to?

On a daily basis it’s amazing how much “noise” we can pay attention to. This week’s article is about the “noise” you listen to on a personal level, and the next article will be about the noise you listen to from an organizational perspective.

The noise we listen to can have a dramatic impact upon …

Ourselves …

Our relationships …

Our results …

Our productivity …

Our impact …

Our health.

The question is … what “noise” are you listening to?

• Do you allow the constant news cycle to fester anxiety and fear about the future?

• Do you allow the distance you feel between you and another leader to cause feelings of insecurity about your standing?

• Do you allow the feedback you received to cause feelings of anger or fear about your role?

• Do you allow the competitor analysis to cause you to feel like you should just give up?

At Insight Leadership Group, we are rooted in helping you love life at work and love life at home. We truly believe that if we can help you love life while succeeding at work, that families and communities can transform. Are we optimists? You better believe it. We also see it.

When a mother and father are successful at work relationally, while also accomplishing great results, they are more engaged at home with their kids. Kids can enjoy throwing the ball in the yard, they can feel safe to ask questions, they can screw up, and still continue to dream. As a result, kids are kinder to classmates, focus more in school, and grow up being healthier humans.

So, when I ask about what “noise” you are listening to, it is a deeply important question because your answer has a direct correlation to your emotional, relational, physical and spiritual health.

I used to love watching crime shows … until I had kids and moved to a somewhat secluded house in the woods. Every noise was a potential bad guy. It’s amazing how much better I sleep when I don’t watch a gut wrenching detective show before bed. This isn’t a crazy concept. This is true for every area of our lives.

Take a moment to consider the “noise” you listen to along with the impact it has on your life.

• Are you taking marriage advice and insight from someone who’s marriage is healthy?

• Are you taking parental notes from someone who’s kids have turned out to be good humans?

• Are you taking business advice from someone who has climbed the ranks and encourages you?

• Are you taking financial advice from someone who is on the track you want to be on?

Who are you allowing to speak into your life and what is the result of the “noise” you are inviting in?

Action Step:

If you want to love life at work and love life at home, then take an account of the “noise” you are inviting into your life and the impact it is having on your life. Then – adjust the volume knob accordingly. Maybe even change the station.

The Power of “Yes”

Aligning What’s Most Important with How You Spend Your Time

One of my favorite authors is Bob Goff. He leaves me thinking deeply and laughing a little. He wrote in one of his books, “just say yes…” (side note: It’s really challenging to even type that sentence!)

In order, here are three things to which my 15-year-old son Elliott said “yes!”

Square Dancing. Football. ECNL Soccer.

The summer started okay but was filled with square dance lessons two to three times a week. Yes, a girl he liked invited him to be her dance partner. Then the high school football team recruited Elliott to kick and they practice 5 days a week. Then ENCL soccer recruited Elliott to play and that’s a whole new commitment level.

This past weekend we had all new experiences.

Our 15-year-old Elliott:

• Played his first football game. (He’s the field goal specialist).

• Competed in his first square dance competition at the Prairie Grove Clothesline Festival. (Yes, it was a girl who made that happen.) It’s the world’s largest square dance competition.

• Competed in his first ECNL soccer match in Dallas.

The Browns had a full weekend. We did find time to mow the lawn and fire up the grill, but we also slept quite well.

Two weeks ago, I would have said, “We don’t have time …”

It’s amazing how we find time for what’s important. It’s amazing how we have the opportunity for new experiences when we have margin already built into our lives, so we have space to say yes to new opportunities.

Maybe you are starting to see the transition. Many leaders are running on thin margins, little sleep and can’t find time for what’s important or for new opportunities that arise.

When we think about the health of a leader there are many questions to ask. Here are 3 to ponder this morning. We look at who we are, how we are, and what we do.

1. Who we are – meaning our unique purpose, values, and philosophy of leadership aligned with our life.

2. How we are – meaning our emotional, relational, spiritual and physical health.

3. What we do – meaning our ability to communicate, execute, and think strategically.

We believe that if we know who we are and how we are … then, what we do will be at a higher and more effective level.

Ryan was putting some thought into this the other week, and we found some convergences that make sense.

For example –

If we have a healthy sense of purpose along with values that drive our leadership there’s a good chance we are rested and not burned out.

It’s amazing how much we can accomplish when what’s most important to us aligns with how we spend our time.

Sometimes how we spend our time doesn’t align with what’s most important to us, but it’s also important to finish what we start. Elliott does not dream of another square dance competition, but he finished what he started. Now, he’s looking forward to putting the cowboy boots away and finding some margin in the schedule.

My guess is someone reading this is rested, engaged and feeling fulfilled. If so – what’s most important might be aligned with how you spend your time at work and at home.

My guess is someone reading this is on the verge of burn out … you try to stay focused, but it’s a struggle. You have no margin and the idea of having purpose driving your work is very disconnected from your current view of reality.

What can you do?

1. Take up square dancing for a month … or …

2. Focus on the deep work of clarifying what’s most important and then make the tough decisions to align your life at work and at home.

Action Step: Make a list of what’s most important and see if that list is reflected on your calendar.

• List your job responsibilities.

• List your life at home responsibilities.

• List what you love to do at work and after work.

Sometimes, in order to start making strides forward, we simply have to start saying yes to what’s important and align our calendars accordingly.

Need help thinking this through? Set up a time to explore if coaching is the right fit for you to help you navigate this next season of life at work and life at home.

Dream On!!

How to Make an Impact that Leaves a Lasting Legacy

During grad school we spent quite a bit of time studying strategic communication … specifically, around articulating vision, strategy and crisis communication.

While I was pursuing my master’s, I had a boss who could not stand discussing strategy or vision. He said things would just work out if you do the right things. That leader did lots of right things, but when he left the organization, the organization crumpled. The leadership had no succession, no vision, and no culture that could stand without that leader in place.

There’s a passage in the book of Proverbs that basically says that without vision not much will work. The people will go their own way and not get to where they want to go.

While I agree with my former boss that doing the right things is vital to organizational health, I also see that a clearly articulated vision provides the direction and reason for everyone to do the right things together.

We’ve seen the pendulum swing the other way as well. My guess is that you’ve seen leaders with clear vision lead like jack wagons as they drive the organization to accomplish the vision without any consideration for anyone who has a question.

We need clear vision rooted in purpose that comes to life through daily leadership aligned with quality core values. That’s how we make a positive impact and leave a legacy worth remembering.

This is an interesting season of life for me. Insight Leadership Group has been my primary income for almost 12 years, and I love what we’ve done, and I love where we are going. Some of the clients we serve met my kids over 6 years ago. We are navigating seasons of life together. It’s quite special.

Today (Monday, August 19, 2024) my oldest son Titus started college classes and Meg, (we just celebrated 21 years) started her doctoral program classes today as well.

Many of you have kids starting school, graduating, getting married, and some of you are starting to prepare for life after retirement. You are considering the impact you are making, and the legacy you want to leave.

What I know is that if all we do is live a good life, we might miss out on living the life we want. Without clear vision we might live lives delivering great work, treating people well, supporting our families, but miss out on what life could look like. While we go through the motions without much to complain about, we feel like something is missing. Don’t ignore that feeling.

On your next flight, long drive or while you are smoking a brisket over the weekend, a valuable exercise would be to consider the legacy you want to leave … you know, the impact you want to make and how that impact will be remembered.

What’s the vision of the relationship you want with your kids?

• Set the goals and strategy.

• Invest the time into what they want to do with you.

• Invest the time into instilling the character you want for them not just keeping the peace during the time you are trying to wind down after work.

What’s the vision of the relationship you want with your spouse?

• Set the goals and strategy.

• Invest the time into speaking their love language.

• Invest the time into dating your spouse and making sure they know you honor them and prioritize them above career and money.

What’s the vision of the relationship you want with your friends?

• Set the goals and strategy.

• Invest the time into spending time hanging out and talking about real life and investing into their lives.

What’s the vision of the impact you want to make on your team?

• Set the goals and strategy.

• Invest the time getting to know them, their dreams, their goals, and then provide coaching and resources to help them get there.

What’s the vision of the impact you want to make on your organization or industry?

• Set the goals and strategy.

• Invest the time, the study, learn, network, collaborate.

Just doing good things won’t get you to where you want to go.

Pursuing the vision for what you want in life while doing the right things during the pursuit will give you a much better shot at leading with purpose, leading from your values, and making an impact to leave a legacy worth remembering.

Why did I write about this today? Because I’ve been wrestling with it. We’ve been doing good things and good things are happening. My son Titus has a vision, and he’s pursuing it. My wife Meg has a vision and, she’s pursuing it through her doctoral work and launching thebeholdcollective.com.

I could keep doing the same thing with Insight for another 20 years and make a meaningful impact. However, we see some gaps we want to address. Addressing those gaps requires vision, strategy and prioritization.

We are laser focused on helping leaders love life at work and love life at home. We know we can’t do that if you aren’t dominating and accomplishing your goals in those areas. We also see a need for a few more tools to help.

We see a gap in a meaningful 360 used to develop team members while building a healthy culture. We just launched our own Insight 360 last week. It’s in the 1.0 version. We are pumped.

We see a gap in leadership programs addressing competencies outside of relationships. We are dreaming about launching our own Executive Leadership Academy during the Spring of 2024. If you are intrigued, shoot me a note and let me know. (michael@insightlg.com)

What burden are you feeling? Address it.

What gap do you see that you are uniquely skilled and passionate about filling? Fill it.

What dream gets you pumped up and makes you nervous? Pursue it.

Don’t be afraid to dream. Don’t be too timid to discuss it. Lead with courage and conviction and let’s love life at work and love life at home. Why only be great at one area of life when you can be great in both?

Three Required Shifts to Move from Player to Coach

Learning the Joy and Challenge of Letting Go

Many of us spent the weekend becoming armchair experts on gymnastics, handball, shooting, shot put, and all the other sports we are obviously great at … we just chose to read emails like this rather than become Olympians. I think we chose well!

There was an incredible scene this weekend of an exchange between Noah Lyles (current fastest man in the world) and Usain Bolt (former fastest man in the world). Usain was encouraging Noah to be himself and continue to be a great personality for the sport. It was a great exchange because no one has brought more attention to sprinting since Mr. Bolt himself. Bolt could have worked to suppress the new up and comer or he could embrace and encourage. He could be frustrated it’s no longer him in the spotlight or celebrate the new sprinter in the spotlight.

There’s joy in embracing the move from player to coach. There’s also a tension many of us feel when we start to let go of what once made us great. Here are three shifts I think many of us have to work through to get there …

1) Recognize Your Capacity

Leaders – I’m not saying you are not capable but am I saying you are limiting your capacity to focus on what’s most important by not letting your team take on what you used to love to do.

Some have shared the perspective that Michael Jordan (when he joined the Washington Wizards) should have recognized his capacity when he became a player for his new team. Yes, he still performed well. Yes, he was able to dominate young players. But he wasn’t able to lead them to become a championship team on his shoulders. I wonder what could have happened if he would have chosen to embrace the owner/manager role versus trying to improve the team as a player.

Small business leaders and Fortune 100 leaders have a few things in common and one of those realities is that we struggle with letting go of the responsibilities that propelled us to where we are. The problem is we were responsible for those pillars without our current responsibilities in place. When we hold on, stay in the weeds and choose not to let go of responsibilities, we limit our organizations, team members and ourselves. Who knows – your team could have the next “gold” medal team member. Who knows – maybe you will learn to love and embrace leading at a new level when you stop holding on to areas of your work your team should be doing.

Ask yourself:

• What decisions did you make in the past two weeks that your team members should have made?

• What tasks did you complete in the past two weeks that your team members should have accomplished?

• How much time did you spend doing what others should be doing?

2) Understand Your Capability

Last week my brother-in-law texted and asked if I wanted to do 9 short sprints over a lunch hour. I thought … I have the time and could use a change up in the workout. How hard could 9 sprints really be?! When I arrived at his house, he said we were doing a warmup run to the school first. One and a half miles later, he was ready to sprint, and I was ready to find an Uber! I was never the fastest sprinter in track, but I held my own. Peter was a state champion and collegiate sprinter. Three sprints in I realized, it’s good for me to “sprint”, but I am no means a “sprinter” … anymore. Some might call it a fast jog.

Yes, you could code like no other in the past. Yes, you understand the nuances of project management better than most. Yes, you can operate a pivot table in ways 27 years old have never seen. However, the more you do those things for your team the more you limit yourself and your new team. Maybe they can bring in new technology and resources that amplify your business and decision making, but they can’t because they aren’t empowered to lead. The challenge is those team members might view you as they view me trying to sprint … with appreciation, but knowing that if given the chance, they could do better.

What I used to do well I can’t do as well as the next generation. We must remember that lesson as leaders. Just because we used to be great at something, maybe even the best at it, doesn’t mean we have to continue to be the leaders responsible for it.

Ask yourself:

• Are there some responsibilities or tasks you continue to do that a team member might be able to do more efficiently?

• Is there a skill you are still proficient at but your current responsibilities don’t require you to be great at?

• Who on your team can take on some of the tasks you need to let go of?

3) Embrace Your Responsibility

If a coach spends an entire practice trying to prove to the team they are better at the sport than the team they coach – will they be a great coach? The coach’s role has shifted from player to coach and the coach needs to embrace the new responsibility. If they don’t … well we’ve all heard stories of little league coaches who forget they are coaching 12-years-olds.

Great leaders have learned to embrace their new responsibilities without trying to manage and stay overly involved with their former responsibilities. The new role is to train, encourage, strategize, give feedback, and prepare team members to be successful. Great leaders set their team up to receive the gold medal and don’t try to get the gold medal themselves.

If there is one encouragement, I can give you this week it is this: Embrace your responsibility and delegate any responsibility that truly doesn’t belong on your plate.

Ask yourself:

• What do you continue to think about, process, stay involved in that you don’t need to anymore?

Start Coaching and Leave a Legacy Worth Remembering

Every leader has a responsibility to care for and grow what they steward. Meaning, we need to care for, support and grow the people making the organization work. That’s a shift in what makes you great. This is a shift in what the organization needs from you.

A leader said something wise the other day and it took me a minute to process. “Just because you are right, doesn’t mean you are right.” This took me a minute because quite frankly, I love being right. What the leader was saying is this … sometimes it’s okay if something isn’t perfect. Sometimes small mistakes have to be made so team members can grow and develop. When the leader is always “right”, the team member will stop making decisions and thus will stop growing.

Don’t make the mistake of always telling and reminding the team of your past glory. Coach the team member to greatness today because today it is their responsibility not yours. You have bigger areas of responsibility to focus on.

Ask yourself:

• What would your life and leadership look like if you focused solely on your responsibilities and not everyone else’s?

Insight Leadership Group offers tested and proven coaching and training to help leaders and managers successfully own and transition in their roles.

Reach out today to Michael (michael@insightlg.com) or Ryan (ryan@insightlg.com) to take the next step in developing yourself and/or your team.

The Often Overlooked Key to Team Dynamics

Learning the Art of Social Awareness

The Brown family has a special skill. We have the unique ability to turn any normal situation into an awkward moment and we strive to unleash this skill at the most opportune times. You can imagine that not everyone in the family has the same understanding of what is an opportune time and not everyone who is around us appreciates our special skill in the moment.

Alice our 7-year-old is trying to hone in on her skills. She understands and delivers sarcasm very well but doesn’t understand when and when not to deliver it. Meaning – she doesn’t know when she is way over the line.

The key to knowing the right amount of awkward rests in knowing how to read the room. The fancy term for this is, “social awareness”.

It’s about the ability to know how to engage relationally in a way that builds the relationship.

If there is one skill that can make or break a leader’s effectiveness it’s social awareness. I know that’s a big statement. Don’t get me a wrong, great team members have three things in common.

1. They build healthy relationships | RQ

2. They manage emotions and stay focused | EQ

3. They own and excel in areas of responsibility and keep developing | Competency

These three things can’t happen well without applying social awareness.

For example:

• The new 24.5-year-old MBA graduate begins to insert opinions based on grad school case studies and ego rather than business knowledge and expertise. They don’t understand why they aren’t up for promotion and their influence in team meetings is lacking.

• The team member who celebrates challenging every idea in every meeting to make the team better and they can’t understand why they are invited to less meetings.

• The manager diving into the weeds on every project and not empowering the team to follow-through. The manager doesn’t understand they are getting in the way.

• My daughter Alice not realizing her grandma is not enjoying the copying game and so she continues …

Just think about the last social blunder you experienced at work and let us know if you are putting that individual in the 9th box for succession planning.

When on the airplane, how many of you are thankful for the extra loud business call in the seat next to you while everyone is boarding.

This summer I’ve spent about 3 evenings a week on the Fayetteville Greenway bike riding. There is woman who is always on the trail riding an e-bike with a huge smile on her face as she presses the button to make the bike move. Normally it’s all good when we pass one another, but this week was another story.

This week she was smiling and riding in the wrong lane. I was flying around the corner at just under the posted speed limit at 14.999999 miles per hour and her smile quickly changed as I avoided a head-on collision and let her know kindly to stay in her lane. She lacked the awareness of where she was on the trail and almost made quite the painful mess.

Why is this important?

When we don’t have and don’t practice social awareness, we jeopardize our ability to lead, manage and drive for results.

When we don’t understand the impact our words and actions have on the people we lead and work with, we can negatively impact what happens organizationally.

When people believe the lines on the greenway are for artistic design and not traffic flow, people are negatively impacted.

When employees believe policies are for others and not them, budgets and results can be negatively impacted.

In the same way, when we don’t understand how to engage with team members, clients, and customers, the results can be negative.

So, how do you learn or practice social awareness?

1. Pay attention to what’s happening in your team members world and adjust accordingly. When someone is about to go on vacation, don’t load them with more stuff for when they return. Empty their plate so they can enjoy the trip.

2. Know your team and pay attention to what’s happening in their world and let the information impact how you approach them.

3. How often do you talk versus others?

4. How does your breath smell and do you need to take a step back?

We leverage the SDI 2.0 to help leaders learn ways of working with one another effectively, so they know how to practice RQ and EQ without losing the ever-important skill – social awareness.

Our Insight team provides executive coaching, facilitation and training to help leaders, teams and organizations navigate what’s going on and prepare for what will. Find time to chat!   

Three Keys to Leading Through Chaos

Making the Right Decisions While Maintaining Perspective

If you are reading this email, you have most likely driven through a crazy storm at least once. The kind of rainstorm that causes our phones to buzz nonstop with flash flood warnings. In those moments most of us do 3 things. 

1. Focus | We put both hands on the wheel and lean forward to hyper focus on how to control the anything we can control. The car. 

2. Vantage Point | We adjust our lights to give us the best vantage point of what is coming down the road or what obstacles might be in place.

3. Pace | We slow down to make sure we don’t slide off the road or cause an accident during the chaos. 

How come it’s easy for us to make the right decisions during chaos when we’re driving, but at work we often lose perspective? 

The Insight Team has a combined experience of around 100 years, and we’ve witnessed a lot of chaos. Many of the mistakes we see during “chaos” start to erode the culture, isolate team members, and make the problem worse. Those mistakes are not intentional … everyone is just trying to make things work, but during the pursuit to make things work we can make things worse.

Instead of focusing on the right priorities, leaders make a list of everything that needs work, and the team gets overwhelmed. It’s like when my wife makes a weekend list of projects. The list would say everything she wanted: kitchen renovation, paint house, mow the lawn, build shelves in the office, install a new ceiling fan, and power wash the porch. You get the point. All are good, but not all are happening during a weekend. All are good, but not all are the same level of priority. 

Instead of keeping a healthy vantage point leaders often start looking at what’s right in front of them and lose focus of the culture and values that root the organization. They lose sight of the long-term vision and make short term fixes that exhaust and demoralize the team. 

Instead of keeping a healthy pace leaders start sprinting. The problem is that the team is typically not in “sprint” shape. It’s like watching an out of shape 45-year-old former H.S. track star try to sprint a 400. About 33.4 yards in they wonder what they are doing on the track and how they got to their current fitness level. I’ll tell you what they aren’t doing. They aren’t focusing on how to control their breathing to finish the race. Sometimes in crisis we must move quickly, but sometimes we manufacture the crisis because of our stress. Make sure a sprint must be a sprint, otherwise keep the marathon pace that the team can sustain for the long haul. 

Here are three things to think about and actions to take:

Wrong Focus | Trying to move the team forward with 31 top priorities is like trying to get fit while enjoying tasty fried chicken daily. It doesn’t matter how much you work – you are working against yourself. 

Action Step: Nail down the 1-4 things your team needs to knock out ASAP and then build to the next few items on the list. Yes, everything is vital, but if you don’t focus you will spin your wheels and have too many unintended consequences.

Wrong Vantage Point | During organizational chaos it’s easy to look at what’s right in front of us and lose sight of what’s coming. It’s like focusing so much on the rain while driving, but ignoring the signs that say, “bridge is out”. If the driver would have seen the sign, they could have saved plenty of time by finding a new route instead of driving all the way to the bridge. 

Action Step: Leverage the team, the data and strategic foresight to look at what’s coming around the corner and not just at what is right in front of you. Adjust course as necessary before wasting more time and resources. 

Wrong Speed | Sometimes there is a time and place to put the pedal down to the floorboard and go without looking back. While moving at full speed we often miss key details and important conversations that help make sure we get to our end destination. There’s a balance though – if we freeze up and go too slow, we don’t get anywhere. We must move but move at the right pace. How do you know if you are moving at the right pace? Is your team aligned? Can your team explain the priorities to a key stakeholder? If you went on vacation would the team be able to keep driving without you? 

Action Step: Move at the pace you can keep the team aligned. When aligned you can go faster together. Focus on constant two-way communication and drive forward. 

During the next “crisis” we encourage you to remember to focus on top priorities, keep a healthy vantage point, and watch your pace. 

Get to where you need to go and keep the team aligned while you are on the journey. 

Our Insight team provides executive coaching, facilitation and training to help leaders, teams and organizations navigate what’s going on and prepare for what will. Find time to chat!   

What Path are you paving? Discerning the difference between leading & Individually performing

During Father’s Day of 2024, I was dead set on taking my kids mountain biking. After airing up tires and loading bikes for 30 minutes we finally made our way to the trail … minus one kid. Alice stayed back.

There we were ready to conquer the single track on this momentous occasion. Titus (18-year-old) started riding with Elliott (15-year-old) and Ezra (11 year old) was with me. We were supposed to be together, but that didn’t happen until we made it back to the car. 

Ezra and I were roughly 3.68 miles in and coming up on what my friend Chad calls “Heartbreak Hill” … not because a high school girlfriend broke his heart 25 years ago … but because it feels like you are going to have a heart attack when riding up. 

I saw the hill and coached Ezra to shift to the easy gears. He was locked in. Then I saw two routes: jump on the pavement to wind around calmly or ride the single track straight up the hill. So, I powered up the hill like a father of four typically would. Then I looked back and saw Ezra struggling to pedal but giving it his all. 

Then the lesson hit. I shouted down the hill, “Ezra you can take the pavement path around and make it easier.” He said, “Dad, I’m going to do whatever you do. I’m following you.” 

There are so many deep thoughts there about parenting and some about leadership. I’ll provide a thought about each.

Leadership Thought

We have a responsibility as leaders to make sure we pave a path for our team to follow. Sometimes we need to push them and sometimes we need to take a path that is more easily followed. Ezra was walking his bike straight up the hill determined to follow in my footsteps. So, I rode down to him, and we jumped on the pavement together. He was able to ride up Heartbreak Hill on the pavement. 

Sometimes we work in a way that is individually “successful”, but not helpful for the team to perform at a high-level as well. 

Action: Consider the ways you work and determine if there are some areas you need to slow down in, so the team can catch up.

Parenting Thought

The one thing we can’t get back is time with our kids. Our kids are looking to us and if we don’t spend time investing in them, our kids will find others to speak into their lives. They are trying to follow us, but we might inadvertently leave them wondering if we care about them, especially if we are riding up the hill and they are walking while struggling to keep up. It does not matter how old your children are – they want time with you, and they want your affirmation, encouragement, and oh yeah – TIME. 

Action: Schedule time in your calendar to go get donuts with your kids, a lunch date during the week or bike ride in the afternoon. Vacations are fun, but the habits in the normal part of our lives make the big difference.

Wrap-Up

Every one of our kids are different. Every one of our team members are different. 

• Elliott stopped along the trail to take epic pictures. 

• Ezra’s legs were burning but wants my validation, so he tries hard to follow.

• Titus loves going fast and rode in-between all of us back and forth to keep tabs. 

Know your team, know what they need and use discernment to determine when you need to race up the hill and when you need to go the long way so your team can go with you. 

When “Happy birthday” fell flat: Navigating Intentions and Perceptions

Last week my wife and I were enjoying a quiet a dinner by the docks of Cape Coral when something unexpected happened. I try not to work while on a date, but this experience was just too good not to capture and share. 

I think this mini story encapsulates what many of our clients and us (Insight) have experienced for many years. During some of our communication sessions we discuss the difference between our intentions and perceptions (specifically, how what we intend is perceived). When there is a disconnect there can be conflict and frustration. 

So … there we were on the docks enjoying incredible seafood and a large group was sat about 5 feet away from us. This group resembled a sorority/fraternity gathering, but they were all in their mid-to late twenties. There were probably more Instagram poses than drinks on the table. 

Then it happened. A 10-year-old girl walked out of the restaurant with her siblings and saw the “happy birthday” crown and confidently shouted with zero awareness, “Hey – Happy Birthday, how old are you?”. No one responded, but on her third try the table gave the little girl their attention. The little girl, full of innocence, blurted out once again, “Happy Birthday, how old are you today?” The young woman happily exclaimed, “I’m 26!” Then the little girl stole the night and said, “That’s great! My mom is 26 too! Happy Birthday!” 

I kid you not, for a moment you could hear a pin drop on those docks in shock and awe and so I shouted over, “Happy Birthday!!!”

The celebration from the young girl was completely innocent and meaningful. However, the birthday girl heard it as an insult. 

We’ve all been there on both sides of the story. 

• We’ve shared feedback and thoughts at work and home in a way that completely missed the mark.

• We’ve heard feedback and ideas from others that left us reeling when really, they were trying to help.

Often, it seems our first attempt to communicate with clarity falls flat. So, we have three choices: 

1. Remain clueless to the impact our words have on others and not develop our awareness.

2. Sense the disconnect but shy away from fixing the misunderstanding.

3. Practice positive regard and ask questions to gain more understanding and clarity. 

This is a microcosm of what happens through social media daily. Quotes are taken out of context and people are disregarded with no opportunity to have a dialogue about intent and meaning. We see the hurt this can cause. But it makes me think – when we don’t practice positive regard for people, and we don’t ask questions to gain more clarity we do the same thing to the people we serve as leaders (and the same is usually true at home). The result is always the same – chaotic conflict, hurt feelings, and/or frustration. 

So, what do we do? 

We practice Relationship Intelligence on a daily basis. We think about who we have the opportunity to work with and what’s important to them. We think about how we can frame up a message to honor the person we are communicating with and when we don’t do it well, we apologize and try again. When someone else does not communicate well to us, we remember they are like that 12-year-old girl saying Happy Birthday … there is no malice involved … we just heard it differently. 

Daily we help leaders work through how to communicate, manage and lead more effectively so they can love life at work and love life at home. We leverage a tool called the SDI 2.0 to help us do that. 

If this article resonates and you see a need to improve your communication or responses to other people miscommunicating shoot a note to michael@insightlg.com and I will connect you to one of our coaches who will help you grow in your Relationship Intelligence a day a time. 

And, if it’s your birthday… "Happy Birthday".

Slow Down: Learn to see the obstacle and strategize

The memory of the voice in the back of my head is as fresh today as it was in 1999. My dad and I were riding Slickrock trail in Moab, Utah. That means we were in the 110-degree heat following a faded red dashed painted line on the slick rock. Since I was 14 years old and an obvious pro mountain biker I was moving at quick pace. 

My dad started yelling, “slowww doownnnn, slowww doowwwnnnn”, as if something horrific was about to happen. A few minutes later I was off the red dashed line on the rock and headed straight for a ravine! I was going too fast to turn … so I went down and stopped sliding right before the ravine. My bike was dangling on my foot over the edge. My arm was bleeding enough to paint a new trail and my dad was saving the “I told you so” for later, after he realized I was going to survive.

I had read all about this trail in mountain bike magazine and was ready to dominate it, but I ignored the coaching … and I almost went into a deep ravine. 

The SDI 2.0 assessment has "reckless" as my top overdone strength, and I think we can see why! 

What’s this inspirational story have to do with strategy? 

Here a couple of questions:

• Are you 10 steps ahead, knowing every curve coming, or trying your hardest to keep from going into a ravine? 

• Are you constantly trying to keep up or are you able to delegate and maintain prioritizing life and work flawlessly?

Most leaders we work with struggle with strategy. When we struggle with strategy, we don’t see the obstacle early enough to mitigate it and make life harder than it needs to be.

If we could just slow down … the clients are demanding it today.
If we could just plan … but we don’t have time. 
If I could just take a break … but if I don’t work, I’ll get farther behind.

Some of the pain points we have worked to relieve with clients to help them focus on strategy have been: 

• More effectively prioritizing and delegating 

• Knowing when to say yes and when to say no 

• More effective time management: Does it have to be a meeting? Do I have to be at the meeting? Do I have to fly in for the meeting? Does the meeting have to be an hour long? 

• Blocking time that doesn’t get moved to focus on knowing where your business is and where your business is going (the building blocks of strategy) 

When my dad was yelling at me it was not because he was upset … it was because he saw what I couldn’t see. He saw that the path I was on was not sustainable at the pace I was going. 

Our focus at Insight Leadership Group is to help leaders love life @ work and love life @ home. We want to see you kick butt and take names and be healthy while you do! 

If this resonates with you a bit, picture my dad with the standard dad voice yelling, “slow down”.

The navy seals have a saying, “Slow is Smooth and Smooth is fast”. It seems counterintuitive, but it’s vital to our health as leaders. 

Slow down. You can’t be smooth without good strategy. My wife will attest to that. Without good strategy, you can’t be fast for an extended period of time without negative unintended consequences. 

Where do you go from here? 

We recommend slowing down … not losing effectiveness but slowing down so you can go fast for the long haul. 

If this idea seems unattainable, more like a dream for a future time … then let’s set up 30 minutes to chat. Let’s connect and talk it through.

Maybe investing in coaching this summer will be what you need to ready yourself for the fall while also enjoying the summer. 

Slow dowwwnnn and give us a call. 

Set up a time to chat. 

Managing Competing Priorities

Navigating the Tension Between Loving Life @ Work and Loving Life @ Home.

During our Insight sessions we often talk about the tension we feel between loving life @ work and loving life @ home. Another way to say that is ... we are all learning how to navigate the tension of conflicting priorities.
 
Work is an obvious priority. If we don’t kick butt and take names at work we aren’t going to be honoring our commitments and earning our income in an honorable way. So, loving life at work is a priority.
 
Family is an obvious priority. Without dating your spouse, investing in your children, and spending time with friends, life can quickly become less meaningful. So loving life at home is a priority.
 
How do we manage competing priorities? How do we determine where to invest our time and who to invest our time with? 
 
There have been seasons in the past 10 years when my wife knew that I had to work because if I didn’t prioritize working, the business would have not have become sustainable. Early mornings, late nights and traveling to anywhere a client needed when they needed it drove the calendar. Financially providing for my family was a priority. Many of you have been there. Many of you are there.
 
Again, "many of you have been there" (i.e. in the past). The distinction is crucial. 
 
I had a key conversation with an entrepreneur in a similar season of life with young children who helped me make key decisions. He said, “We have to decide, how much $$ is enough.” Obviously we can always make more money, but we can't get back the time coaching our kids soccer teams. We can make more money, but we can't get back the time dating our spouse. We can make more money, but we can’t catch up on time lost with friends.
 
So, we have to decide at some juncture, what is the point of it all when we work non-stop at the cost of relationships? When does our non-stop work become destructive rather than productive?
 
Financially providing for my family is a top priority still, but the level of urgency has shifted as the business has become more sustainable.
 
Managing that shift has been a challenge, but one that I’m thankful to endure. Have you felt that challenge as you you’ve grown in your leadership role? Last week I found myself in a predicament. Last year, I committed to speak with a SHRM group and last week, my H.S. Soccer team state playoff schedule came out. I’m an assistant coach and two of my boys wreak havoc in the midfield. Should I speak or should I coach and be a dad?

I can justify speaking ... 

• It’s a commitment and we follow through with our commitments.

• It’s a business development opportunity. Everyone in the room is a potential client.

• It’s business and it’s my job.

I can justify coaching ... 

• It could be the last time I see my boys on the pitch together.

• The team needs me to help coach them to victory.

• I love my boys and want to be there for them.

On the sidelines of my youngest son’s soccer match Saturday afternoon, I turned to a local business leader and family man for some insight. After the conversation, the same thought kept circulating through my mind: In 5 years am I going to be more thankful I spoke at this meeting or watched my boys play in state? What will my kids remember?
 
I’m not discounting speaking. Many of our long-term clients have come through seasons like this. I feel the tension. But what’s most important?
 
There is a point that every spouse and child can fairly ask us, “Am I more important than work?” Every friend can ask, “Is there ever a time we can hang out instead of you working late?”
 
My hope is that we Love Life @ Work and Love Life @ Home.
 
If you are struggling to manage competing priorities at work and need coaching to help you manage the tension – set up a time to chat. 

Priorities Don't Equal Stress: Managing Pens, Priorities and Stress

This morning, I woke up with a flood of energy, exhaustion, and a slight feeling of being overwhelmed after an awesome weekend of soccer in KC with no time for email.

The first task of the day was signing checks for the government, and the second task was endorsing a check my son was going to drop at the bank. Yes, even now, checks are still used! In-between task 1 and task 2, my favorite pen went missing. My heart was broken, and my mind was blown. 

My week is planned, and priorities are set, but knocking everything out is going to take some early mornings and later nights than normal. The schedule is set, but important emails and long meetings interrupt the flow. 

When leaders get overwhelmed, anxious, frustrated, and fearful, we typically go into a state of conflict. On the SDI 2.0, we would say it’s conflict stage 1. We can also see our overdone strengths start to surface. (Side note: if you are stressed and getting overwhelmed let’s set up a few SDI 2.0 coaching sessions with Ryan. When stress surfaces our execution and communication usually diminishes. 

• How do we stay focused when priorities are not aligned with our calendar? 

• How do we stay focused when “fires” get in the way of our priorities?

• How do we stay on mission when stress consumes our mindset?

When I get overwhelmed, my head turns to fog, and it takes intentional effort to lean in and focus on the task at hand. To get focused I have four routes: 

1. Do push-ups.

2. Have a non-work conversation to reset and relax.

3. Remember why the work is important and get focused. 

4. Accomplish something. 

If we don’t reset and focus, then the day gets out of hand … our emotions interfere and our productivity goes out the window. The end result = more stress … because we didn’t get our work done or solve the problems that need solving. 

There is a false idea out there that priorities equal success. Priorities are helpful for sure, but even when you know when and where to focus, the day can get out of hand and stress can take over. 

Priorities are paramount to knowing where to focus. Stress will destroy focus in a moment. 

While I was rushing to soccer practice this afternoon, I found something that was missing all day. Hidden in the pocket of my favorite green pants was my favorite blue pen. It was with me the whole time, but I was going too fast to check. It's crazy how easy it is for me to forget about the simplest of things when rushing in-between meetings. 

It makes me wonder how many times we don’t realize we have everything we need to succeed, but our stress keeps us from tapping into it. 

Think about an elite athlete who struggles for a week. They didn’t’ forget how to shoot, they let life get in the way of the having the right mindset when they shoot. It’s not about skill or will – it’s about health. It’s not about priorities – it’s about managing stress.

So, what’s the point of this? 

If you are a leader struggling to stay focused because of the large workload … 
If you are a leader waking up feeling anxious even though all is good … 
If you are a leader feeling like you can’t ever get across the finish line … 

… then you are a leader who could benefit from making sure you have your priorities set. 

I’m not talking about what time you check email or work on your most difficult project. I’m talking about a 30,000-foot view of what’s important in your life.

Here are the top 3 questions to help set priorities.

• Am I loving life at home? 

• Am I loving life at work? 

• Am I living a healthy life? 

When these three things are going well, our mental and emotional health typically follow suit. When these things are in order, the interruptions, stress, and busy schedule don’t steal the best parts of us. We don’t lose ourselves in pursuit of accomplishing our business goals. Our priorities in life help us stay focused on the priorities we have at work. 

The right priorities however can help us push through the challenges of life and stay healthy and successful on the other side. 

What are your thoughts?