Lesson 2: Learning to Coach Not Chase

Many of us can remember teaching our kids or nephews to ride a bike. We would hold the back of the seat and run until the kids had balance and could go. At some point in the process, they would pedal faster than we could run while bending over and trying to breathe! We either coach and let them ride or run until we can’t and hold our kids back.
 
Why do we have this need to chase instead of coach? Maybe not a literal chase at work …

• Do you ever look over your direct report's shoulders?

• Do you ever take over key tasks instead of empowering the team?

• Do you ever micro-manage and lose focus of what’s really important?

When I was coaching Titus to ride my Yamaha VStar 650 my first reaction when he took off was to chase him. My first response when he was moving quickly on a motorcycle was to run after him. I thought if he made a mistake maybe I could help. The more he rode, the more I ran; the more I ran, the more exhausted I became.

There came a point when I couldn’t keep up. When I stopped chasing and started coaching the exhaustion gave way to celebration. Instead of holding him back by chasing him I could set more goals and keep coaching him.

If you are a people leader who feels like:

• The only way you can move people forward is by remaining cold and focused on the business

• The only way you can drive for results is if you are abrasive and don’t waiver

• The only you can make sure something is correct is if you self-sacrifice and stay up “fixing it”

When we learn to stop chasing and begin coaching we get to rest.
The people we have the opportunity to lead get to enjoy the ride and develop.
 
Make the shift to coach instead of chase.
 
Sidenote: If you need help learning to coach instead of chase give us call.

4 Key Lessons From a Control Freak Learning to Empower Leaders

While teaching Titus (my 16-year-old son) to ride a motorcycle, I was reminded of 4 key lessons that directly correlate with empowering leaders to learn a new skill and execute that skill without direct oversight. (Before you question my sanity – we live in an area with no through traffic and a 200-yard stretch of straight road)

We were enjoying a quiet Father’s Day around the house and I was getting restless. I took the kids to church, watched Wall-E with Alice, kicked the ball with the boys and it was only 2:30! There was too much time left in the day …

I started to think about the lessons I would leave my children. What legacy would I leave and what life lessons do I need to instill so they can live a full life?

We’ve been talking about selling our motorcycle, because I want to live a long life, but we have not sold it yet! So … it was time to teach Titus how to ride. He was wisely hesitant, but quietly excited.

This four part blog series will cover:

Lesson 1: Effective Training is Difficult
Lesson 2: Looking Over the Shoulder is Exhausting
Lesson 3: Letting Go is Terrifying
Lesson 4: Celebration is Rewarding

Lesson 1: Effective Training Is Difficult

Have you have ever attempted to train someone who didn’t have a clue, but they didn’t know they didn’t know? Yeah – me too. You need them to learn this skill, but they don’t realize how critical it is until they can’t figure it out. They are compliantly going through the process, but we all know the difference between taking ownership and going through the motions.

Titus was excited about the idea of learning to ride, but was humoring me in the process. He said more than once, “if I ever need to figure it out; I’ll just figure it out, it’s not that hard in the movies”. This was followed up by Titus letting up on the clutch too quickly and only being able to move the bike about 6.8 feet per try after 48 tries.

Compliance began to give into to frustration. I knew he would love riding and feel proud of himself if he could be successful, but he was about to give up. The sun was beating down on us and the helmet was heating up. I was committed to his success, even when he was ready to give up. I kept on setting small goals on how far he could go without “killing” the bike. He was so close to success, but closer to giving up.

You have a team member right now who you are trying to develop. There is a system, a process or a method you want them to master so they can be successful, but for some reason they are stubbornly trying to do it their own way. It’s like the salesperson who isn’t putting notes in salesforce. It’s the developer who is not willing to adopt the same methodology and when someone else has to make a change it’s an expensive, painstaking process. It’s the account manager who is great, but no one else can come in after them because they don’t follow the system. The individual performance of everyone is good, but they don’t see how following the process can improve their future and the organization.

We have to wait for those moments to set them up for success.

Titus was about to give up and I persuaded him to try once more.  He hopped on the bike to turn it around. During the U-turn I realized he was trying to start and restart in second gear. I do this all the time, but for his first time riding, it was a little too difficult. I explained what happened and put the bike in first gear. He rolled his eyes as he reluctantly hopped on.

Then it happened. The minor shift in gear, made it possible for everything to click for him. He started cruising. Satisfaction covered his face. The sweat was now worth it and he valued the process.

What does this have to do with you?

• Insight 1: Just because you have goals for your team members, doesn’t mean they will pursue those goals with all their heart!

Tip: You must stay positive and keep working so they see the benefit of where you are taking them.

• Insight 2: The end goal might be overwhelming to think about.

Tip: Set smaller milestone goals in place and help the team member find small wins--keeping hope alive and building confidence.

• Insight 3: Shifting the process slightly or changing the environment can make a huge difference in a leader finally finding success. Remember, you are a pro and a team member's barrier might not seem relevant to you in the moment.

Tip: Assess progress and remove potential barriers you overlooked in the beginning.

My "Masters Moment"

2005

For years I had driven by Augusta National, while visiting my dad at the bank he worked at in Georgia. In the middle of town is one of most iconic golf courses in the world and you can't see it from the streets. Walking through the gates is like stepping back in time to a different world. In 2005, I finally had the opportunity to see the Masters in person. The night before the practice round, storms came rolling in. As we drove through town the next day, trees were down, branches were everywhere and water was pooled up on the streets. We walked through the gates at the course, and it was as if the storm never happened. Employees picked up every twig, blowers dried every puddle, and the course was immaculate.

Uncle Ray, My dad and I walked around, stood at AMEN corner for awhile and took it all in as Tiger Woods navigated his way to another Green Jacket.

During this incredible experience of rest and nostalgia my mind was racing about what was next. Meg was pregnant, I had a couple of unique job offers on the table and I was feeling the pressure to make the right decision quickly. (You know - I'm a "Red" who goes "Red" in Conflict Stage 1.)

If only I could go back and tell my self that it would all work out and I should just soak it all in. If only I could have just rested and fully appreciated the moment.

We have all been there with our families. Maybe not August National, but on vacation. We are supposed to be enjoying the moment and yet we are focused on the next deal, the next phase of a project, the next run in with the challenging team member.

It's time to make the shift as leaders to make sure we help our team members do the same. It's time we stop missing our "Masters Moments". It's time we start making sure our team members experience their "Masters Moments".

We know that you might want more than two tips on how to solve this problem and improve your strategic communication That's why we have created "Green" It's an immersive leadership golf experience that will take place June 15-17 in Dallas, TX. Check out the flyer here.

What's Next?
Let's meet up for a virtual coffee to talk about what's happening in your world and figure out the best next steps to address it: https://calendly.com/insightleadership/virtualcoffee 

Elite 8 Wins and Losses

Are You Still Leading In Crisis Mode?

We saw it last week during the Sweet 16 and Elite 8. Under pressure some teams stayed true to the process and other teams fell apart under Crisis. There is a stark difference between crisis mode and staying competitive as leaders. Our teams would probably agree.

Just like our families appreciate us talking to them in a calm, clear, and respectful manner - our teams do as well. It helps everything work a little bit better because everyone feels honored.

Many leaders across the country are still communicating to their organizations in crisis mode and are struggling on how to make the strategic shift without losing momentum. Meaning we cast quick messages throughout the organization instead of cascading messages and gaining buy-in from the right leaders at the right time. We bypass leaders who need to champion the cause in the name of speed and run out of fuel to see it through because they don't know how to get there teams to buy-in.

Let me belabor my point by saying the same thing twice

When we blast messages without cascading them we generate unneeded anxiety. At this point we also cause our leaders to feel devalued. They feel like their opinions aren't considered and instead of championing projects and change they respond to frustrated individual contributors with age ole "they said". We know nothing motivates a team to work hard like a good old, "we don't have an option or opinion". Hence ... the great resignation.

During the past two years our people have navigated enough personal crisis and don't need us to add to it at work. Creativity, engagement, and inspiration occurs more in the calm than the crisis. Don't overlook the word, "engagement"!

Here are two insights to help:
1) Create a priority of list of what needs to be communicated and why.
2) Create a timeline of who needs to hear the each message first so they can have time to process how to champion the priorities. Be sure to build time to adjust plans accordingly based on feedback.

The key is that we learn to slow down so that we can go fast together. So we can make sure we only operate in crisis mode when there is a full crisis.

We know that you might want more than two tips on how to solve this problem and improve your strategic communication That's why we have created "Green" It's an immersive leadership golf experience that will take place June 15-17 in Dallas, TX. Check out the flyer here.

What's Next?
Let's meet up for a virtual coffee to talk about what's happening in your world and figure out the best next steps to address it: https://calendly.com/insightleadership/virtualcoffee 

 

The Flat Tire Fiasco

The week I turned 16, I remember convincing my dad to let me take his car, instead of my aerodynamic'88 Ford Aerostar van, to take my friend Ryan Malone home. So far my driving record was clean - after 3 days so what could go wrong? Well ... it turns out if you drive too fast over an improperly installed grate on the road you can lose the ability to steer, slide over the large curb and turn all 4 wheels sideways. Yeah ... that was an expensive drive home.

That story is in the back of my mind every time my son, Titus, drives somewhere. He's usually driving our Nissan Frontier 4 Cylinder pickup truck. It goes so fast you have to floor it to get up to the speed limit on the hill by our house. (This makes me feel safer.)

I'd had a long week (7 facilitated session in 5 days) and Meg had two-full days of grad school online. Picture sitting in zoom class from 10 a.m. - 6:30 p.m. and try not to be jealous. Needless to say we were not wanting to prep dinner.

Titus was about to do anything he could to avoid going to pick up dinner so I dropped the one golden ticket I had. The opportunity to take my car. His eyes lit up, jaws dropped and he said, "are you serious?" Then I started to rethink my offer, but doubled down so I could watch the game and sit. We ordered Slim Chickens for pick up and he set out on his first lone journey in the Audi.

On his way home my phone rang and he was in a church parking lot with our dinner and flat tire. My mind was racing. Did the tire get slashed - No we live in Fayetteville, AR. Did Titus ramp a curb on accident - no, he's better than that. Did he attempt some donuts in the church parking lot - no, he's not me. Then the conversation with Chad popped back in my mind.

A few weeks ago Chad at Firestone let me know that I only had another 6-10,000 miles on those tires. He was right. The warning signs on the tires were there, the expert shared his advice, and I pushed the tires to the limit. Since I saw Chad those tires rolled to Omaha, Kansas City, Tulsa and Little Rock.

Is there an area of your life at home or/and life at work that is wearing out? The signs are there, the experts have weighed in and now it's up to you to respond instead of relying on hope that you have one more day, one more week, one more quarter before you have to address it.

• Do you need to lean into your marriage by letting your spouse know you care more about a healthy marriage than the next business deal?

• Do you need to lean into your kids and let them they are more important than work by spending more time with them?

• Do you need to lean into your health by ordering a grilled chicken salad and walking the block?

• Do you need to lean into your team by investing in their development and your team formation?

• Do you need to lean into your organization by focusing on how to strategically communicate so everyone knows what everyone needs to know?

I'm thankful the tire simply ran flat and did not blow out. A blow out could have put my son in danger and that would have been on me for not responding quick enough to the warning signs and the expert's advice.

If you are running an area of your life on a "tire" that is about to blow. Set a time to talk this week and let's work on the repair before it gets worse.

Pregnant and Moving

Meg was pregnant and we were moving to a new state for a new role. I was excited to dive in and make an impact. There's nothing more fun than moving across the country to meet new friends in a new community while 4.5 months pregnant (sarcasm dripping).

Then it happened. The leader that we agreed to uproot our lives for, showed their true self. The imprint left on us will never be forgotten.

Here’s the truth. How you treat team members at work impacts their life at home. How you treat people at work impacts a team member's marriage. How you treat people at work impacts how a team member invests in their children. How you treat a team member at work impacts how they invest in the community- serving on boards, coaching kids teams and volunteering at church. Everyone makes their own choices, but as leaders - you have tremendous influence. Everyone has a choice in how they respond. Leaders can make help others or hurt others.

Take a moment and replace the words “team member” with the names of the people on your teams. Let it soak in.

How you treat ___________ at work impacts their life at home. How you treat _________ at work impacts ___________'s marriage. How you treat __________ at work impacts how __________ invests in their children. How you treat ____________ at work impacts how they invest in the community- serving on boards, coaching kids teams and volunteering at church.
Here’s what I’m saying. It’s not just all about you. Now, it's about your team.

How you lead/manage has a ripple effect into the community. Your words, your tone, your expectations, your feedback, your timelines, your encouragement, your intentionality – make a huge difference.
I know it’s heavy responsibility. You’ve got this though. Your leadership impacts a persons life. That’s why it’s important to think through what type of impact you want to make with your responsibility.
Take a moment to do this exercise:

• How do you want the people you manage to remember you?

• What do you need to do differently so everyone on your team might remember you that way? (I say “might” because you can't control how others respond.)

Remember – all you can do, is what you can do. You can’t control what others do or feel. Don’t let that reality take away from you being the leader you want to be. There will be times you have to get critical feedback, let team members work somewhere else, or be accused of ridiculous things with no merit.

My prayer for you and for everyone I work with is that you navigate leadership challenges in such a way that allows you to lay your head on your pillow at night without regret or shame. Be proud of who you are and how you lead. Be a leader worth following and and leave a legacy worth remembering. Leaders who leave a legacy worth remembering have four things in common.

1. Humility

   • C.S. Lewis said, “Humility is not thinking less of yourself it’s thinking of yourself less.” Leaders who lead with humility don’t lord a title over others to push ideas through. They lead by influence to share a vision, idea, or opportunity that everyone can rally behind. Humble leaders celebrate others in lieu of themselves.

2. Empathy

   • Learning to look and see from someone else's perspective is life changing. I might not agree with their perspective, but when I see it, when I feel it, when I put myself in their shoes (even if those shoes are uncomfortable) I adjust my approach to make sure that team member knows I hear, value and appreciate them. I might not give the team member what they want, but I can still lead with empathy.

3. Selfless Ambition

   • Your team has goals and sometimes people make it difficult to pursue those goals. Your role as a leader is to get up the mountain. Your role is to accomplish whatever is in front with no excuses as at team. Leaders who leave a legacy worth remembering leave an outcome that moved the needle forward for the team and organization while benefiting the teams personal lives.

What's Next?
If you need a refresher on your SDI 2.0 or you are wanting to improve the culture and communication in your organization, or you just want to have a conversation set up a virtual coffee: https://calendly.com/insightleadership/virtualcoffee 

Valentine's Blunder

Some leaders learn lessons quickly and others take awhile. On the SDI 2.0, stubbornness is one of my top overdone strengths. My wife can attest to this. Maybe my team too!

During our Valentine's date, we were talking with our friends about failed opportunities. There was a time when we believed our wives when they said, "We don't want anything." But they wanted something! I can't tell you how many times I thought that meant I shouldn't actually get a gift! Yes ... you can judge me ... just know after 20 years I have gotten better at having a little intuition and Meg has gotten better at making sure she is not relying on my intuition!

One of my favorite movie scenes in The Breakup with Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston is when she yells, "I just want you to WANT to do the dishes!"

This is one more example of how waiting and hoping for intuition is the worst type of communication!

Here's the deal. The workplace is not much different. If you want your expectations to be met - don't rely on someone's intuition to provide you exactly what you want.

If you want to set up your team members for success - communicate with clarity.

Everyone wants to feel valued, heard and appreciated. When we don't communicate with clarity we fill in the gaps with assumptions of what we think we heard or what we think someone wants. And both parties end up with an element of frustration.

If you are someone like me, you might be able to leverage some helpful tools. I can't tell you how many times I have pulled up the SDI 2.0 compare feature on my wife and team to make sure I'm communicating in a clear and helpful way or to make sure I'm effectively hearing what they say. When I understand where they are coming from it helps me know how to respond.

There are three key elements to make sure you are connecting with your team members.
1) Communicate with clarity to your team members by saying what you mean and meaning what you say.
2) Cultivate community with your team members by valuing and appreciating how they show up.
3) Check-In with your team members on a regular basis so you know how to support, equip and develop them.

What's Next?
If you need a refresher on your SDI 2.0 or you are wanting to improve the culture and communication in your organization, or you just want to have a conversation set up a virtual coffee: https://calendly.com/insightleadership/virtualcoffee

Purpose and Resignations

Life on Mission | Life on Purpose
 
What is fueling the “great resignation”?
 
Yes – people want a healthier culture to work in.
Yes – people want more flexibility with their schedules
Yes – people want to make sure ​the money is there.
 
It is those things. However, I believe it’s also something much deeper. I believe that, for so long, our identities have been caught up in what we do and where we do it. Think back to every networking event and gala, “I’m [insert name], I’m the [insert fancy title], at [insert org name]."  We went to work, went home, ate dinner, went to work one email, rinse repeat.

Yes, there’s a little sarcasm dripping in there, but if we are honest with ourselves not too much.
 
We can justify anything. We can justify working long hours to get ahead and to be successful. Then we wonder why the fabric of our society has been pulling apart, as work family has replaced actual family.
 
Then COVID came and interrupted everything. Everyone realized that there’s another way to live and many are pursuing it.
 
I think what they are actually pursuing is identity. They are pursuing purpose. They are pursuing a clear and compelling vision.
 
There’s an interesting verse in the book of Proverbs from the Bible. It says, “Where there is no vision the people perish” The Hebrew word “perish” used means, there is no restraint, no direction, no parameters. Meaning people "perish" because they have no clear direction and no boundaries set to get there.
 
Vision provides destination; mission provides guardrails; values provide fuel; and strategy provides a roadmap.
 
I believe the great resignation is happening because people have been living their lives, following a roadmap with no compelling destination. Suddenly, retirement at 65 isn’t exciting enough. They want to live with purpose today.
 
So, what do we do with this realization?

• As Leaders/People/Humans: Find your purpose. Find your vision. Find what pumps you up, what brings fulfillment, and what you're passionate about. Then find ways to integrate that at work and home. Clarify your values and be proud of your journey and destination.

• As Organizational Leaders: Help your leaders and employees see how they can leverage their strengths, so they are energized at work. Help leaders see how their personal vision can align with the organizational vision. If your organizational vision lacks clarity and your employees lack purpose, give us a call.

 
Our hope at Insight Leadership Group is that you are a healthy, transformational leader who loves life at work and loves life at home. We want you to be extremely successful at work and dominate the market! We want you to be equally successful at home - leaving a legacy worth remembering.
 
We don’t want to ask questions and make statements without offering a viable solution. Download the Insight Action Guide right here. This unique tool is used with every executive coaching client to help them clarify their purpose. Inevitably when the leaders find their identify and rest – everything else seems to work out.
 
If you are a senior level leader looking for more. Check out our Courage and Conviction Leadership Series. We provide small group executive leadership experiences to help leaders rest and take the next step.
 
Free Download: Insight Action Guide
Management: 201° Performance Management Coaching
Management/Leadership Development: Courageous Leaders Cohort
Executive/Leadership Development: Arkansas Business Executive Leadership Academy
Executive/Senior Leader Development: Courage and Conviction Leadership Experiences

Everything is for sale?

We’ve all had one of those friends or neighbors. You know the ones who are willing to sell anything they own at a moments notice for the right price. We hear, “everything is always for sale” at least once every time we are with them.
 
On the surface I can roll with it. Things are just things, and we should not be too tied to them. On the other hand – if everything is for sale … is there anything not for sale? Meaning – will money and profit guide our decision making every time – or do we have some priorities that aren’t for sale? Like – dinner with our families, dates with our spouse, attending our kids games, breaking a promise to a team member? 
 
It was Christmas Eve, and I received a message the airline that we had the chance to change our flights for up to $750 per ticket! I got excited about this opportunity for a moment, but then realized changing Meg’s birthday trip for $1,400 might not be the best way to say Happy Birthday! We opted out of changing flights and stayed the course to Daphne Island.
 
We were sitting in the airport on the way home trying to fly out early after a debacle with customer service. We were on the flight … we were off the flight … we needed two people to not show up for the flight so we could get on the flight. Read that a few times. Then the message came through the PA system at our terminal, "We will offer $700 for anyone who is willing to change flights." 

A couple sitting across from us starting to talk through it. The husband said, maybe I can just meet you in NYC and hopefully get there in time to watch the ball drop. The wife had a look of surprise and disbelief. Was $700 worth changing their vacation and missing their NYC experience?
 
The question started to swirl – is everything for sale? If everything is for sale do we have any convictions about what is not for sale?
 
It’s amazing how our drive to pad our accounts, to rise through the ranks, to earn the bonus, to get a step ahead can cause to us to put what’s important on the back burner. It’s so easy to replace what is actually important with the urgency of what seems important.
 
As we watched the couple discuss the options, we saw the demeanor start to shift as they actually processed changing their plans for a flight credit. The wife said, “you can do it, you should do it …” Everyone sitting around them heard the statements the same way every husband over 35 years old hears, “I don’t care where we go to eat”. The couple boarded the plane together.
 
At Insight Leadership Group we are focused on helping leaders love life at work and love life at home. We’ve seen that leaders who don’t have clear priorities, leaders who don’t have clear boundaries, leaders who don’t have clear values – are leaders who struggle to love life at work and love life at home. Not because they are ineffective, not because they are bad people, not because they don’t care, but because they always have to stop and think: Is the price right for my convictions to shift?
 
Leaders who know what’s not for sale. Leaders who have clear boundaries, who have clear values, who know their mission … they don’t debate if it’s worth it. They already know the answer and lead forward with courage and conviction.
 
Here a few resources we have to help leaders love life at work and love life at home. Take the next step as a leader or help the leaders you serve continue to develop.

 
Free Download: Insight Action Guide
Management: 201° Performance Management
Management/Leadership Development: Courageous Leaders Cohort
Executive/Leadership Development: Arkansas Business Executive Leadership Academy
Executive/Senior Leader Development: Courage and Conviction Leadership Experiences

Flying Through the Fog

Meg and I were flying back from a get-a-way trip after Christmas and storms were brewing everywhere. As we were approached Charlotte, we could barely see the wing of the airplane. We were in a thick fog with zero visibility. And yet … our flight wasn’t delayed.
 
When I’m driving through the fog I have to slow way down because I can’t see where I’m going. There’s the fear that I’m about hit something right in front of me.

I’ve been hiking through the fog in the Smokey Mountains, and it is obvious why they have that name. When hiking along a ridge with steep drops to the right or left in the thick fog – it's imperative to make sure every step is the right step.
 
Yet – there we were – flying right along, right on time into Charlotte.
 
We’ve all been there. Going through the day as if we are in the middle of the fog. Due to external factors, we become hesitant to take a step because we can’t see where we are going.  The fog can be debilitating at times and cause us to miss opportunities that are right in front of us. We start to stress, get anxious, get frustrated because instead of continuing to cruise towards our destination we start over analyzing each step like it could be our last.
 
What’s difference between flying through the fog and driving through the fog?

• When flying, we have our destination coordinates, route planned, and air traffic controllers helping us navigate. The pilot is not on their own – so you trust the plan and carry on.

• When driving – we are limited to what we can see and are forced to adjust accordingly. We are forced to slow down or move forward recklessly.

Is it possible to fly through the fog at work rather than drive through the fog?
 
Hang with me a moment.

• How many times do we focus so much on ourselves that we forget to collaborate? You are in the middle of a change initiative, but you haven’t collaborated with the people who are impacted by the change.

• You are in the middle of adjusting roles and salaries for the organization, but you have not collaborated with the leaders of those teams to hear their perspectives.

• You are in the middle of a huge sales promotion, but you have not collaborated with operations to make sure the teams are ready to deliver.

• You are in the middle of … you get the picture.

 
How many times are we forced to slow down or move forward recklessly? Instead of realizing that impacted parties can act as the air traffic controller, collaborating to gain more vision, we treat them as a barrier keeping us from our destination.
 
The people you have opportunity to serve as a leader can help you fly through the fog without losing momentum. You just have to take the opportunity to strategically collaborate with them.

Strawberry Rhubarb Jam

Strawberry Rhubarb Jam

My usual mantra to shopping is to “get in and get out.” However, this trip was a vacation. I looked up at the display and saw it. My first thought was, “sounds terrible.” My second thought was, “Meg’s favorite pie is Strawberry Rhubarb, so she would probably appreciate the jam.” Points scored! Meg was pumped for her new favorite jam. Our vacation was off to a great start.
 
A few days later, we were on the trip home, and the jam was in my laptop bag. The friendly security guard searched my bag and pulled out the jam. This wasn’t the first time he’d pulled jam from a laptop bag.
 
That’s when we had to make a choice. Check the bag or ditch the jam. The real question became, “is the new favorite jam worth $35?” (the cost for purchase and checked bag). Is the new favorite jam worth risking our luggage arriving at the location and worth waiting on our luggage when we arrive at our destination?
 
Meg assessed what’s essential in travel and life quickly. She ditched the jam I thoughtfully purchased for her. I was emotionally prepared to spend $35 but thankful we didn’t.
 
There are times in life when our favorite things aren’t the most important. We have to let go of our favorite things to focus on the most important. 
 
There are times when leading what you deemed most important becomes secondary to what is essential.
 
For example, it was important for every employee to be at the office three years ago. Today it’s crucial for every employee to be accomplishing their responsibilities at home or work.
 
What was important (employees to work on time) became less critical than employee safety.
 
What’s most important never changed—employee health, employee engagement, employee productivity, employee retention, etc.
 
How you lead now has changed and will continue to adjust to accomplish what’s most important. It’s not letting go of your values; it’s making sure you value what’s most important. It’s making sure that what’s not essential doesn’t hold you back.  
 
So, the question becomes: What’s your Strawberry Rhubarb Jam? What do you need to leave behind so you don’t waste resources and lose efficiencies in your business?
 
If the answer is easy, but the change is hard – give us a call.

Depression

I'm tired today ... 
I think I'll sleep just a little longer today ... 
Let's just stay home today ... 
Let's push that date back ... 

As I type and retype this note to you I question myself. It is okay to be this vulnerable? I'm a husband of almost 20 years, father of 4, split wood to use the smoker wearing flannel, and still chase a ball around the pitch in umbros. (meaning I feel tough) Life is good. But, for some reason I had found myself tired, sleeping more, lacking motivation, and a little down. I've coached and counseled plenty of leaders going struggling with some sort of depression, but I had a hard time owning it myself. This past two years we have navigated plenty of transitions like you have and I think it all caught up with me.  Simultaneously Insight has had an incredible year that shattered our previous record and 2022 is looking good. Last summer my wife called me out. She said you are in Stage 2 green. She caught me. I was analyzing everything and cutting myself out of community. Not intentionally - I was just trying to make everything work. However, my approach to make everything work was making everything difficult.

So, I had to find the eddy. I had to reset vision, my personal "why" and rest. Not the sleeping kind of rest, but finding green space to think, read, pray, exercise, and not be in the constant rush. I'm happy to dive into the weeds on this if the conversation will benefit you. Here's are a few tips that helped me reset and turn the corner.

Personal Life
1) Pray the Lords Prayer every morning
2) Meditate on Psalm 23
3) Exercising with my boys (reminder that they follow our example)
4) Clarify my personal mission
5) Consistent time to hang out with good friends (healthy community) 
6) Spend time outside smoking meat for family and friend dinners

Professional Life
1) Hire and rely on a great team (train, delegate and empower) 
2) Manage my calendar. Meaning - limit back to back zoom meetings and end the day at 4:30 if possible to leave time to prep for the next day.
3) Leave the laptop in the office 
4) Focus on helping leaders love life at work and love life at home in a very intentional way
5) Pursue goals and celebrate the wins
6) Build authentic relationships with clients

We are launching a new program to help leaders find the eddy. To help leaders rest while clarifying vision. It’s called Distilled. Check it out here.

Hitchhiking

Kyle and I were at the top of the mountain during spring break. We were feeling good about our ski level and wanted to take the fastest route to other side of the mountain. As we peered through the forest we thought we saw the ski run of our dreams. The only thing keeping us from our dreams was an orange boundary line. We figured the boundary was only there for people who weren't as good as us. At first, we were having fun ... then we were hiking/skiing/holding on the tops of trees to not sink ... It was too late to go back up. The ski run we thought we saw didn't exist. We finally found the courage and clearing to ski through the backcountry and the faint sound of cars started to fill the air. We ended up on the highway 5 miles from Winter Park hitchhiking to get back.

Have you ever crossed a boundary in order to get somewhere faster?

I found that every boundary I cross I found myself farther from my purpose not closer.

I think boundaries help us get down the mountain they don't keep us from enjoying it. Boundaries help us accomplish our purpose they don't keep us from it. When we cross the boundary line to get there faster we get farther from our purpose.

We've found that if we don't have boundaries we never accomplish our purpose. There is always something that can distract us. All of a sudden life is as confusing as asking a family of 6 where they want to eat.

Purpose has led us to launch our new executive development program. We are passionate about helping leaders love life at work and love life at home. We are on mission to help you cultivate engaging and healthy cultures that have positive ripple effects into the lives of families, organizations and the community. That purpose helped us realize we didn't want to be in the executive roundtable game. Sitting around the conference table wasn't transformational enough. How we can get real, get some rest and develop? Knowing our purpose helped us put boundaries up. We said no to something that was good and began working to pursue something that is meaningful and impactful.

If you are struggling to know how to answer that "purpose" question then I encourage you to join us at Distilled, March 2-4 in Louisville, KY. The first of four executive leadership experiences. During distilled you can craft your personal and organizational vision and find time to rest.

Vision and purpose provides us the clarity we need to know how to say, "yes", "maybe", or "no" on a daily basis. Vision helps us to establish proper boundaries. It helps us to know where to focus, what to do and how to avoid distractions that drain us, our families and our organizations. Why hitchhike when you ski?

Brisket and Leadership

We were loaded in the van ready for our first Life @ Home Experience. We are pumped. Meg (my wife), Peter and Tiffany were ready to rock n roll. Reece had smoked a world class brisket for dinner the first night, but couldn't make it down. He declared this brisket the best he had ever made. Bold statement without trying it yet! He had wrapped the brisket in foil, towels and then placed it on a cooler. We pulled into the IHOP on Weddington and he loaded the cooler into the van at Tiffany now had a footrest. The van smelled incredible. 90 minutes later we had a flat tire. We arrived to the venue an hour or so late greeted by hungry participants. The brisket had rested about 7 hours before we cut into it. Let's just say everyone was satisfied and wanted more. The brisket was incredible.

What made this brisket better than it's 59 predecessors? REST.

We theoretically know that rest is important, but for some reason do our best to ignore it?

I wonder what our leadership would be like if we took time to rest? As good as you are, could you reach your potential if you found rest?

This Christmas season build in times to rest. Time to be bored and do nothing. Don't fill the space binge watching. Let your mind rest. Then experience creativity, wild ideas, and vision. You know ... the things that helped you get to where you are.

It started with rest.

P.S. - maybe smoke a brisket or pork shoulder this Christmas instead of turkey.

Join us for Distilled: An immersive executive experience