4 Key Lessons From a Control Freak Learning to Empower Leaders
While teaching Titus (my 16-year-old son) to ride a motorcycle, I was reminded of 4 key lessons that directly correlate with empowering leaders to learn a new skill and execute that skill without direct oversight. (Before you question my sanity – we live in an area with no through traffic and a 200-yard stretch of straight road)
We were enjoying a quiet Father’s Day around the house and I was getting restless. I took the kids to church, watched Wall-E with Alice, kicked the ball with the boys and it was only 2:30! There was too much time left in the day …
I started to think about the lessons I would leave my children. What legacy would I leave and what life lessons do I need to instill so they can live a full life?
We’ve been talking about selling our motorcycle, because I want to live a long life, but we have not sold it yet! So … it was time to teach Titus how to ride. He was wisely hesitant, but quietly excited.
This four part blog series will cover:
Lesson 1: Effective Training is Difficult
Lesson 2: Looking Over the Shoulder is Exhausting
Lesson 3: Letting Go is Terrifying
Lesson 4: Celebration is Rewarding
Lesson 1: Effective Training Is Difficult
Have you have ever attempted to train someone who didn’t have a clue, but they didn’t know they didn’t know? Yeah – me too. You need them to learn this skill, but they don’t realize how critical it is until they can’t figure it out. They are compliantly going through the process, but we all know the difference between taking ownership and going through the motions.
Titus was excited about the idea of learning to ride, but was humoring me in the process. He said more than once, “if I ever need to figure it out; I’ll just figure it out, it’s not that hard in the movies”. This was followed up by Titus letting up on the clutch too quickly and only being able to move the bike about 6.8 feet per try after 48 tries.
Compliance began to give into to frustration. I knew he would love riding and feel proud of himself if he could be successful, but he was about to give up. The sun was beating down on us and the helmet was heating up. I was committed to his success, even when he was ready to give up. I kept on setting small goals on how far he could go without “killing” the bike. He was so close to success, but closer to giving up.
You have a team member right now who you are trying to develop. There is a system, a process or a method you want them to master so they can be successful, but for some reason they are stubbornly trying to do it their own way. It’s like the salesperson who isn’t putting notes in salesforce. It’s the developer who is not willing to adopt the same methodology and when someone else has to make a change it’s an expensive, painstaking process. It’s the account manager who is great, but no one else can come in after them because they don’t follow the system. The individual performance of everyone is good, but they don’t see how following the process can improve their future and the organization.
We have to wait for those moments to set them up for success.
Titus was about to give up and I persuaded him to try once more. He hopped on the bike to turn it around. During the U-turn I realized he was trying to start and restart in second gear. I do this all the time, but for his first time riding, it was a little too difficult. I explained what happened and put the bike in first gear. He rolled his eyes as he reluctantly hopped on.
Then it happened. The minor shift in gear, made it possible for everything to click for him. He started cruising. Satisfaction covered his face. The sweat was now worth it and he valued the process.
What does this have to do with you?
Insight 1: Just because you have goals for your team members, doesn’t mean they will pursue those goals with all their heart!
Tip: You must stay positive and keep working so they see the benefit of where you are taking them.
Insight 2: The end goal might be overwhelming to think about.
Tip: Set smaller milestone goals in place and help the team member find small wins--keeping hope alive and building confidence.
Insight 3: Shifting the process slightly or changing the environment can make a huge difference in a leader finally finding success. Remember, you are a pro and a team member's barrier might not seem relevant to you in the moment.
Tip: Assess progress and remove potential barriers you overlooked in the beginning.
