Lesson 4: The Joy of Celebration

Over the past 4 weeks, one truth has become increasingly clear. Leaders are missing out on one of the greatest aspects of leadership - Celebration.
 
Why is that?
 
Truth: Many leaders are wearing themselves out because they are not getting out of the way. (This stings a bit, but it might be true for me, too!)
Truth: Many team members are leaving your organization because they are tired of not having the opportunity to leverage their strengths.
 
Leaders - We have good intentions. Everything gets busy. We just get it done. We make it happen. It’s faster. But, then, the follow-up (the actual work) has to take place and no one on the team is ready to carry it on.
 
Hence … you miss the joy of celebration.
 
If you are staying up late doing what your team members should be doing, you are not celebrating. You are setting everyone up for failure. You have to learn to train, delegate and empower.
 
One the greatest rewards of a leading is celebrating the growth and opportunity of our team members.
 
You celebrate when milestones are hit, goals are met, or tasks are done at a high level.
 
Then you celebrate in a way that in meaningful for your team members. That’s another thing I love about the SDI 2.0. The Core Strengths platform and Outlook Plug-in provide clear tips on how to encourage a team member who is not wired up like me.
 
We need to make sure we set team members up for success and celebrate them.
We need to make sure we celebrate our team members in a way that makes them feel valued and appreciated.

The sense of gratitude, joy and confidence that welled up in Titus after he successfully rode the motorcycle was well worth the effort to set him up for success. 

What's Next?

Let's meet up for a virtual coffee to talk about what's happening in your world and figure out the best next steps to address it: https://calendly.com/insightleadership/virtualcoffee 

Depression

I'm tired today ... 
I think I'll sleep just a little longer today ... 
Let's just stay home today ... 
Let's push that date back ... 

As I type and retype this note to you I question myself. It is okay to be this vulnerable? I'm a husband of almost 20 years, father of 4, split wood to use the smoker wearing flannel, and still chase a ball around the pitch in umbros. (meaning I feel tough) Life is good. But, for some reason I had found myself tired, sleeping more, lacking motivation, and a little down. I've coached and counseled plenty of leaders going struggling with some sort of depression, but I had a hard time owning it myself. This past two years we have navigated plenty of transitions like you have and I think it all caught up with me.  Simultaneously Insight has had an incredible year that shattered our previous record and 2022 is looking good. Last summer my wife called me out. She said you are in Stage 2 green. She caught me. I was analyzing everything and cutting myself out of community. Not intentionally - I was just trying to make everything work. However, my approach to make everything work was making everything difficult.

So, I had to find the eddy. I had to reset vision, my personal "why" and rest. Not the sleeping kind of rest, but finding green space to think, read, pray, exercise, and not be in the constant rush. I'm happy to dive into the weeds on this if the conversation will benefit you. Here's are a few tips that helped me reset and turn the corner.

Personal Life
1) Pray the Lords Prayer every morning
2) Meditate on Psalm 23
3) Exercising with my boys (reminder that they follow our example)
4) Clarify my personal mission
5) Consistent time to hang out with good friends (healthy community) 
6) Spend time outside smoking meat for family and friend dinners

Professional Life
1) Hire and rely on a great team (train, delegate and empower) 
2) Manage my calendar. Meaning - limit back to back zoom meetings and end the day at 4:30 if possible to leave time to prep for the next day.
3) Leave the laptop in the office 
4) Focus on helping leaders love life at work and love life at home in a very intentional way
5) Pursue goals and celebrate the wins
6) Build authentic relationships with clients

We are launching a new program to help leaders find the eddy. To help leaders rest while clarifying vision. It’s called Distilled. Check it out here.

Hitchhiking

Kyle and I were at the top of the mountain during spring break. We were feeling good about our ski level and wanted to take the fastest route to other side of the mountain. As we peered through the forest we thought we saw the ski run of our dreams. The only thing keeping us from our dreams was an orange boundary line. We figured the boundary was only there for people who weren't as good as us. At first, we were having fun ... then we were hiking/skiing/holding on the tops of trees to not sink ... It was too late to go back up. The ski run we thought we saw didn't exist. We finally found the courage and clearing to ski through the backcountry and the faint sound of cars started to fill the air. We ended up on the highway 5 miles from Winter Park hitchhiking to get back.

Have you ever crossed a boundary in order to get somewhere faster?

I found that every boundary I cross I found myself farther from my purpose not closer.

I think boundaries help us get down the mountain they don't keep us from enjoying it. Boundaries help us accomplish our purpose they don't keep us from it. When we cross the boundary line to get there faster we get farther from our purpose.

We've found that if we don't have boundaries we never accomplish our purpose. There is always something that can distract us. All of a sudden life is as confusing as asking a family of 6 where they want to eat.

Purpose has led us to launch our new executive development program. We are passionate about helping leaders love life at work and love life at home. We are on mission to help you cultivate engaging and healthy cultures that have positive ripple effects into the lives of families, organizations and the community. That purpose helped us realize we didn't want to be in the executive roundtable game. Sitting around the conference table wasn't transformational enough. How we can get real, get some rest and develop? Knowing our purpose helped us put boundaries up. We said no to something that was good and began working to pursue something that is meaningful and impactful.

If you are struggling to know how to answer that "purpose" question then I encourage you to join us at Distilled, March 2-4 in Louisville, KY. The first of four executive leadership experiences. During distilled you can craft your personal and organizational vision and find time to rest.

Vision and purpose provides us the clarity we need to know how to say, "yes", "maybe", or "no" on a daily basis. Vision helps us to establish proper boundaries. It helps us to know where to focus, what to do and how to avoid distractions that drain us, our families and our organizations. Why hitchhike when you ski?

Brisket and Leadership

We were loaded in the van ready for our first Life @ Home Experience. We are pumped. Meg (my wife), Peter and Tiffany were ready to rock n roll. Reece had smoked a world class brisket for dinner the first night, but couldn't make it down. He declared this brisket the best he had ever made. Bold statement without trying it yet! He had wrapped the brisket in foil, towels and then placed it on a cooler. We pulled into the IHOP on Weddington and he loaded the cooler into the van at Tiffany now had a footrest. The van smelled incredible. 90 minutes later we had a flat tire. We arrived to the venue an hour or so late greeted by hungry participants. The brisket had rested about 7 hours before we cut into it. Let's just say everyone was satisfied and wanted more. The brisket was incredible.

What made this brisket better than it's 59 predecessors? REST.

We theoretically know that rest is important, but for some reason do our best to ignore it?

I wonder what our leadership would be like if we took time to rest? As good as you are, could you reach your potential if you found rest?

This Christmas season build in times to rest. Time to be bored and do nothing. Don't fill the space binge watching. Let your mind rest. Then experience creativity, wild ideas, and vision. You know ... the things that helped you get to where you are.

It started with rest.

P.S. - maybe smoke a brisket or pork shoulder this Christmas instead of turkey.

Join us for Distilled: An immersive executive experience

Urgent Vs Important | Lessons From a Funeral

We sat in a hotel lobby in rural Illinois with a poorly taxidermy mounted cross eyed coyote looking at everyone in the foyer. The family is pouring in from all over the country during COVID 19, masked up, ready to bury our grandfather. He had passed on Friday morning and we were all gathering on Saturday and Sunday.

As we pour into the only hotel in Princeton, Illinois, it’s clear how tired we all are. We dropped our work, changed our plans and either drove or flew too many hours to count.

It makes me wonder. How come we can we all drop our “work” in a moment to gather for a funeral, but we can’t drop our work in a moment to kick the ball in the yard with our kids, or take our spouse on a date, or mountain bike with a friend. (wondering for myself) When I’m stressed and overwhelmed, I drop the important and focus on the work.

I seem to make time for the urgently important, but not the important.

Why does it take so much to bring family together? How come we can’t make time for the important? Why does the urgent take precedence?

Maybe this week … begin focusing on the important … so we don’t get to the urgent and realize we’ve lost out all along.

We let the urgent take precedence in our families too often. What about at work?

How many of us focus on the fires instead of consistency? How many of us focus on the "crisis" instead of the plan? Then we wonder why the plans don't move forward as we planned? 

We are all trying to do our best, focus on what's important, but sometimes we let the urgent become the priority instead of letting what's most important remain the priority. 

I think it's important to remember that not everything is a crisis. Not everything is urgent. If we stick to the plan, maybe we have less urgency to worry about.

Top 4 Tips On Leading Stressed Out Leaders

Anxiety. Stress. Fear. 

You may not have it. You may not understand it. 
However, you need to be equipped to lead teams through it.

Many of your team members are struggling to get out of bed in order to start work. They are struggling to go to bed because of work.

Here are 4 tips that you can begin immediately to help lead stressed out leaders.

Tip 1 | Provide Consistent and Clear Communication

Now more than ever you need to provide clear communication to your teams. They fill in the blanks with assumptions that hurt you, them and the organization. Communicate clearly and consistently. Even if you think they should know or should know why - you need to remind them. Leaders complaining about over-communication is better than assumptions made from no communication.

Tip 2 | Provide Consistent Check-Ins

Leaders need to know where they stand and check-ins provide that assurance. You need to know what’s happening with your leaders and without consistent check-ins, you really can’t be sure. Our check-in process has helped leaders across the country improve relationships and results.

Tip 3 | Provide Organizational Clarity

Leaders under stress are living in the fog of the Appalachians. It’s tough to see 5 feet in front of you. Give them the clarity they need to see what’s important and what to focus on. This is not your chance to micro-manage; this is your chance to develop your team and create a culture of ownership.

Tip 4 | Provide Training

Quality effective training and coaching can help your leaders overcome barriers and stress faster than any other type of development. If you believe in your leaders and need to help them overcome, call us today. We can help.

Bonus Tip: Provide coffee breaks on Zoom or in the office. Conduct meetings outside and walk the long way to the meeting. Ask your team members to walk during a portion of the meeting to help them recharge and get active.

Many of your leaders are stressed and it is impacting every aspect of their life at work and at home. While you cannot fix it for them - you can make sure you are doing what you can as a leader to help empower them.

Top Tips To Start The Week Off Right At Home | Weekly Game Plan

This last Sunday night, my hot wife and I implemented our Weekly Game Plan Strategy again. (I’ve entitled it that… she usually just rolls her eyes and grabs her planner. Haha!) 

It’s been awhile since we’ve needed to do it. It’s been a long “spring-break.”  We were already exhausted by the end of that Sunday and my ***-hole tone of voice rang through my bride's ears like an Alanis Morissette song.

Every Sunday for the last few years, we’ve been game-planning the week. (Again- my words… it must be the coach in me.) The Game Plan helps us avoid unnecessary frustrations, arguments and surprises. The Game Plan helps us to find opportunities for rest, dates, family dinners, and time with our kids.

We have:

4 kids. 

4 Different Grade Levels

3 Locations.

Multiple Teams (Sports, Business and Church-Related)

+ COVID 

+ Growing a Business

Next week, I’m going to work on having a better tone of voice… but this week, I wanted to share the Game Plan with you. 

Our mission is help leaders love Life at Work and love Life at Home. It’s a constant challenge because disruptions are never-ending, but we can’t let disruptions dictate our quality of life and family.

Here’s our Weekly Strategy Game Plan:

Each spouse gathers their relevant weekly schedule, meetings, appointments, plans, etc… We pull out the kids' schedules. Then plan out each day before Monday morning arrives. (We usually try to plan a couple weeks out and sometimes the month— BUT at least, the coming week.)

• Who drops off who - when and where.

• Who picks up who - when and where.

• Will any meetings get in the way of the routine? (Work through that TOGETHER- and by that I mean, work out conflicts together.)

• When are you going to enjoy a date?

• What are you going to plan for meals?

• Who’s working where?

• Have kids pack their lunches and get their sports bags together.

• If trips are coming up in the next two to four weeks- go ahead and remind one another about those plans.

Frustration and anxiety creep in when we are surprised. Take the time to plan your weeks together and avoid the miscommunication pitfalls. Then, review daily because people forget and life happens.

What do you do at home to make sure you and your spouse are ready to enjoy the week?

Lead intentionally, so you can love Life at Home and love Life at Work.

Racism Through A Child's Eye

Michael’s Take: Growing up - I heard derogatory comments on a regular basis. They always hit closer to home than peers would have been able to see from the color of my skin.

I’m white. Like, really white. If I’m outside for 22 minutes, my skin turns red. The color of someone’s skin doesn’t tell a person’s story. I love going to Doomsday Coffee in Fayetteville. Rosie is one of the owners and is from Mexico. She always jokes about how we share the same homeland and her cooking and accent brings me back to my Aunt Arlene’s house in El Paso.

My dad was born in Chihuahua, Mexico. He was an illegal immigrant until I was 13 years old. We’ve all heard the racist and derogatory comments towards Hispanics. Growing up in North Carolina and Missouri, everyone had plenty of zingers they thought were funny. The perspective on how people are from all walks of life and parts of the world (making them each uniquely incredible) was lost on these zinger-giving-people.

I remember walking across the border from El Paso to Juarez with my family in 4th or 5th grade. We ate at a hole in the wall restaurant and one of the young men serving recognized my grandfather from decades ago in Chihuahua. He came over and gave him a long hug. That moment is ingrained in my memory and makes me proud of my family. It shows that across borders my family treated everyone with respect and dignity that transcends generations. It made me proud of my family and made me want to be like them in that way.

When the insults and poorly formed jokes were flowing in my communities, I found myself correcting them quite often. Feeling the sting every time.The racism towards Hispanics was always out in the open as if it was acceptable behavior. Disgusting and accepted.

The racism towards the black community was a bit more suppressed. It was subtle because it was not socially accepted behavior, it was passive. Maybe in the passivity it’s even more dangerous. More volatile. It’s like hearing the passive comments from from an in-law at Thanksgiving. If you address them it’s going to be awkward … “I didn’t say that”, “I didn’t mean that”, etc… Meanwhile the damage and the pain is there and brooding even more.

What we all know is what is lurks beneath the surface at some point comes up. The racism of a police officer impacts their work. The racism of an HR leader fosters a culture of discrimination. The racism of a CEO influences the decisions of a leadership team. Subtle or overt - people know and grow weary.

The country has grown tired of it. Everyone is tired of the hatred. I hope…

A few years ago we were in Memphis, enjoying great BBQ, we saw the basketball great Grant Hill and then walked the Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial. We talked to our kids about racism in the past and they were confused and didn’t understand it. In our church, in our community, they didn’t see how or why people would be so hateful.

It pains me to sit across the from the table and teach them about the hatred that still continues today. I wanted them to grow up in a better world. What pains me more is knowing that my friends with black children have to not only teach their kids about racism they have to prepare them for when they experience it. Prepare them for discrimination. Prepare them for when they get pulled over. Prepare them for when they get passed over.

So how do we respond in all of this?

What do we do?

Can we make company policies? Yes.

Can we vote better leaders in? Yes.

Does that solve the problem? No.

Racism and hatred stems from our homes and bleeds into our communities and places of work. It’s the responsibility of everyone to no longer turn a blind eye and say, “that’s just [insert name], they don’t mean it”.

It’s no longer okay to passively allow hatred to infiltrate our work places while applying for awards like “Diversity Employer of the Year”.

We can’t legislate discrimination away - our commitment to valuing people has to rid our companies of fostering the ability for hate to live.

It’ looks like this:

A COO changing a bank’s policy so single black women can receive promotions based on performance and are given opportunities for continued certifications. This versus being stuck in poverty perpetuating low-level jobs while walking by the slave trade memorial on their way home from work.

A HR Leader taking the stance to not allow racist leaders to work at the company, even when that meant disrupting the norms of the location and community.

A Communications leader encouraging a team member to write a heartfelt blog to the company to open the conversation of real life to give everyone the courage and confidence to dialogue .

This is a time for business leaders to realize that this is simply about doing what is right. It’s about treating others they way you would want to be treated. It’s not about politics. It’s not about the bottom line. It’s not about a slogan.

It’s about doing the right thing and I pray you have the courage to do so. If you don’t know how - we can help you. We can’t continue as we have been and think the world will get better. Our kids need a better world than this. Let’s not wait for them to create it. Let’s finally move the needle forward. It’s time.

Laura’s Take:

I grew up in the heart of Detroit - 5 Mile Rd. & Grand River Ave. You’ll hear me joke that Eminem had it easy over there on 8 Mile Rd. since the typical rule of thumb was that the lower you got in the mile markers, the rougher the neighborhoods got.

As a kid, I had no idea that it was a rough part of town that I called home. I knew that I had great neighborhood friends, that I laughed, played, stayed outside until the lights came on, etc. I felt safe. I knew I was loved. I was happy. I was color blind.

Now, I’m not going to say that everything was perfect, we did live in a rough part of town. I remember having my brand new bike stolen right after my 5th birthday. Of course I was sad and angry and confused. When things like this happened, and they did regularly, my dad would pull us together and explain that whoever it was that took our bike or whoever it was that broke into our house, that they needed those items more than we did. Not in a dismissive way, but in a way that opened our tiny eyes to the fact that others didn’t have the same things we did…and it didn’t make them bad people. They were just in need. We learned early to try to think about what others might be going through before jumping to conclusions.

You see, early in life we develop the ability to distinguish between kindness and meanness. That was the most important characteristic in our forming brains..is this person being a nice friend or are they being mean to me? That’s what mattered. I didn’t care that my friends had darker skin than I did. I thought it was cool and can remember often saying, “I wish my skin could be brown like yours”. I was the minority in this situation and was envious of what others had that I did not.

I’ve obviously grown up and have had experiences along the way that have educated me in the realities of how different I was than my childhood friends. Not only the color of my skin, but also in how we were treated, how people looked at us, how I was afforded privileges that they were not. The hardest lesson that I learned (and continue to learn) is that my own unique experience was not the same for others. Not my black friends and not my white friends. Not everyone had the same type of parents who encouraged respect and understanding. Not everyone had the pleasure of growing up in a culturally diverse community. Not everyone chose to be kind. I was blinded by my own experience and had to consider how other people’s experiences may have seeded beliefs and behaviors that were unimaginable to me.

Here’s where the rubber met the road for me though. I had a choice to make as an adult. What pieces of my upbringing would I hold on to and what would I choose to change through education and experience? I could choose to stay in a state of disbelief and confusion. I could choose to believe that everyone was raised like me and the world was a happy, loving place where everyone got along. I could choose ignorance or I could choose to open my eyes to the injustice that was surrounding me.

I chose the latter and was determined to be steadfast in my values. I decided to pursue a career in Human Resources to make sure that I was in a position that could eradicate the injustices of the workplace. I chose to make a small difference where I could.

Every job interview I’ve ever been on, when asked the question, “what are your weaknesses?”, my response was consistent. I would say, “I have no tolerance for unnecessary rudeness (mean people) or disrespect of others”. Period. Zero tolerance. That was my answer then and would be today as well. You can imagine that answer wasn’t always seen in a positive light. I can remember being told that my stance on these items was too harsh and that, in HR, I needed to practice more diplomacy in situations where rudeness or disrespect would arise. When that happened, I would have a choice again. A choice to remain centered in my values and lead accordingly in an effort to shift the culture in the right direction, or a choice to let company politics dictate how I would lead.

It’s hard to consistently do the right thing and lead in a way that you can be proud of. You will be tested, that’s the reality, but you always have a choice. You can choose to make a positive impact in the injustice that is playing out in front of our eyes. Choose to be the leader, parent, community member that makes a difference, right where you are - no matter where that is. Whether it’s the streets of Detroit, the country club golf course, or the boardroom. They all provide the same opportunity for you to treat people with kindness, respect, and appreciation for what uniquely brought us each to this moment in time.

What I wouldn’t give to have our world be the place that I thought it was…when I had the eyes of a child. Unfortunately it’s not, but it doesn’t mean that I can’t make a choice every day to open those eyes and make a difference. Will you?

The Day My Face Slid Across 2x4's

Have you ever moved forward rapidly without fully preparing?

Have you ever made quick decisions that left you wishing you hadn’t?

It was a beautiful day in Northwest Arkansas and we were riding all over Slaughter Pen Trails for the first time with no need to pay attention to the time. I finally felt like I was ready to jump again. It had been years, but I finally felt ready. I mean - I had jumped 6 inches that day so what’s 4-6 feet?

My buddy said, “do you want me to video tape you?”. How can I say no to an epic video that would show my wife that I still have athletic abilities?

Then it happened. My face slid across 2 x 4’s for the first time and prayerfully the last …

When you think you are ready and then you painfully realize you are not!

There are many leadership and life lessons to share from this crash …

Here’s the lesson of the day: If I would have looked down the trail a bit further I could have prepared for what was coming. I would have realized the “ramp” wasn’t really a ramp … I would have had a better chance to execute well or could have chosen a different path.

Sometimes we get excited, we think we are ready, and we aren’t. The problem is that we are leaders not just mountain bikers. We have teams relying on us to lead well. While we can get up and shake it off - our teams might not get up as easily. Mistakes are more costly and painful. They cost us at our jobs and they cost us at home.

This time - there is too much at stake. Everyone has already felt the pain and anxiety from COVID 19 - they don’t need more.

How are you going to continue to develop your leadership and management to help yourself and your teams avoid sliding across the 2x4’s. at work?

A few tips:

• Slow down before you start going fast. Give yourself the time to prepare.

• Don’t rely on what you used to know to navigate every decision. Keep learning and pay attention to the new challenges you have not been through yet.

• Gain clarity on where you are going and how you plan to get there. A good plan gives you a solid shot to execute it.

If you need help finding clarity or improving your leadership and management to avoid the pitfalls give us a call.

Empty Nester

My youngest son, Luca, is about to go to college (insert, “But you’re too young to have a college student” here). 

He’s one of the 2020 graduates that missed it all…prom, graduation and the much-anticipated Lacrosse match against the rival high school.  It’s been a strange few months for sure. 

In addition to all of that, Covid has blessed me with the opportunity to generally have more time in thought.  When the normal hustle and bustle is slowed - even if it’s just weekend errands - I start thinking.  And, the question that keeps running through my mind is, “what am I going to do when he’s gone?”.  Now, I have some experience already with a child leaving home thanks to my 23-year-old, so it’s less about the fear of Luca on a college campus and independence shenanigans that come along with that.  Instead it’s been about how I will fill my time.  Afterall, wine and Netflix can’t become the long-term hobby that I embrace. 

My husband travels weekly, so it will be me and the dog, Remi, for the most part.  Now, she’s a sweet pup and she’s also really well behaved…which means she’s quiet too.  That doesn’t help when it comes to feeling like you’re in an empty house!  I’ve had lots of ideas on how to fill my evenings:

• I’m really going to learn Spanish now

• I’m going to learn to play the guitar that is gathering dust

• I’m going to be the most fit 40-something year old in Fayetteville

• I’m going to volunteer to go hold babies at the hospital

• I’m going to fully engage in a food-insecurity program to help feed the community

• I’m going to start doing, one by one, those Pinterest DIY projects (thanks for the idea, Mom!)

Here’s the truth though.  I made a conscious decision about a year ago to start loving life again.  Loving life at home and loving life at work.  For me, it meant looking at my skills and experience and figuring out how I could apply them differently in both aspects to really align more closely to my passions.  It meant taking a leap of faith with life at work, despite how much I loved my teams and employer, so that I could also love life at home.  See, I used to be a workaholic.  Yes, I’m admitting it.  If you would have asked me back then, I would have denied it until I was blue in the face.  I would’ve said, “No, I’m just so busy and don’t want my team to feel all the pressure…I can work late again to cover it”, or “It’s just this one initiative, it will lighten up soon”, or “This is just part of the job, we’re all working so much right now, it’s not just me”.  Hmmm.  Sound familiar?

So, as I’ve been pondering the empty nest(ish) scenario in my very near future, I couldn’t help but wonder if I would be considering the same hobbies a year ago.  The answer was a bit painful to process since this is also when I had the workaholic realization.  To save you the suspense, I know I wouldn’t be thinking about fun ways to learn something new or make a difference in my community.  I can say with 100% confidence that I would have been taking on one more project, staying 2 hours later at work, picking up the travel and trying to manage it all so that others could enjoy their lives outside of the office…yup, without consideration of my own life beyond those four walls. Ugh.  I get exhausted just talking about it.

This isn’t about a pity party for Laura though.  I made all those decisions on my own.  And then I finally made a different one.  It was an intentional and very conscious one that I made then and every day since.  It’s no joke that changing 20 years of ingrained behavior is hard to do. 

(Michael Brown interjecting here!) There came a point in time that Laura decided she had to make a shift. I saw it happening over a six-month period. She was waking up to the lack of sustainability of her rooted-in-kindness-and-caring-for-her-team-work-a-holic norm.

I’ve known her since 2014 when she was my client. Everyone on her team loves her, her leaders respect her, and her peers seek her input. Even after leaving her previous role, this continues! She’s the best at what she does and makes everyone around her feel appreciated, valued and effective. Her strategy for success wasn’t sustainable though. She was self-sacrificing left and right. Then she decided to make a shift. Months later she made it. Her husband and family were supportive, and she wrestled through it, she left a great job and a great team to reset. She called it retirement. I called it, preparing for Insight Leadership Group.

Knowing her now, you wouldn’t get a sense that she was ever a work-a-holic. She delivers on every promise and consistently makes sure we are not overworking while making work fun. She makes sure we are valuing our families and following through with the Insight Health Initiative to make sure our team is exercising and eating right. She made a massive change in her life. She was hesitant to put that in here because not everyone needs to, or can relate to, leaving a great career to make a shift. However, you may need to make some other shifts to be healthy.

Now we work with leaders to help them leverage their strengths so they can love life at work and love life at home. I’m forever grateful she made the change!

You might feel the pain points Laura made clear and the answer might not be to find a new job. The answer might be to find a new way to be successful in your role. Okay – back to Laura …

You may not be dealing with kids leaving home, but my guess is that you are also dealing with some type of transition that is weighing on your mind.  Whether it’s dealing with off-site teams, bringing employees back, figuring out how you’re going to deal with your sweet babies that don’t want you to go back to the office, etc.  Change is on the horizon and we can get real about it or try our best to ignore it and fall back into our old routines, doubling down our efforts. 

Choose to make healthy decisions.  You can do it.  Break the script and lead differently through the ReEntry process so you can Emerge Stronger. Purchase and begin the Leader’s Field Guide to ReEntry today.

How do you emerge stronger when you are rocked to the core? I mean, really rocked.

There I was, holding on to a rock in the middle of the rapids, rethinking my whole life. I was rocked to the core.  

Let’s start from the beginning of the day.  

We had church on zoom and my friend texted me right after I wrapped up to say, “meet me in 15 min, we are hitting the river.” So, of course, I don’t ask any questions.  As a side, I do ask my wife (she says yes!) and I head out the door.  

There’s 4 of us at the start.  

The first set of rapids were exhilarating. Bigger than normal and the adrenaline was pumping. MAN, I LOVE THE RIVER! Wait...what’s happening?  Where is Clay going? In retrospect, he was the wisest of our group when he bailed at that first rapid due to an equipment issue.   

The three of us ventured back to the river. The event planner yells back at us and says, “there’s a rough spot up here somewhere, I’m not sure where”. We genuinely appreciated the heads up and it had been years since I’ve swam a rapid and I wasn’t about to start now.  But, just in case, I slide my sunglasses into my life vest and navigate forward. Some might say this was my first mistake – a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts. 

We navigate the next section fine … but before I know it, I’m high sided on a rock and swimming. I’m determined to catch up to my kayak which is in arm's length, but the current took it faster than I could blink - deep into the rapids. I’m squarely in the chaos, when the water sweeps me right into a protruding rock. Sticking out of the rapids just enough to hold onto without being swept away.  

There I was holding on to a rock in the middle of the rapids rethinking my whole life.

This is what I mean by being rocked to the core.  

I thought:  

• Screw this, I’m out... 

• I’m done kayaking ...  

• I love my wife … 

• I love my kids …  

• I don’t want to drown …  

• I hope the rock doesn’t budge … 

• Is there anyone who can help … 

A few times I tried to get my footing to walk the 20 feet to the shore, but every time I started to move, the rapids started to sweep me away.  

I had to assess my options: 

1. Am I going to be the guy who gets rescued by the park rangers swift water team? (No) 

2. Am I going to drown swimming the rapids? (maybe, but chances are I won’t die) 

I went with option 2 since our coordinator also happened to be my doctor and I figured he would be able to resuscitate me if worst came to worst. Believe it or not, I was trained to swim the rapids and knew the basics... feet up – head up.  

That was my only option. Feet up - head up.  It became my mantra … I said a prayer and let go of the rock.  

The waves were huge. My feet were hitting the rocks, the river water was flowing into my lungs as I tried desperately to keep my head from slamming into the rocks underneath me. 250 yards later and I was drained – the only thing keeping me afloat was the vest.  250 more yards, wave after wave beating me up like a novice in a UFC fight, when I faintly hear someone yelling to me from the shore, “Swim here, swim here”.  I didn’t have an ounce of energy left and had consumed gallons of river water that was weighing me down even more.  I thought there was no chance, but I rolled over and started, with all my remaining strength, the breaststroke through the current.  The next thing I remember is being on the shore “expelling” all that river water that had made its way into my lungs.  

I was done with the near-death experience… but, it wasn’t over.  I was done … but, I had to kayak another 3 miles. 

It was the first time I didn’t look forward to being on the river. 

Many of us have felt similar feelings during COVID 19. We have been rocked to the core. We’ve felt like we are holding onto the rock in the middle of the rapids and the only option is to let go and pray.  

Well, how do you emerge stronger from that?  

Here’s what I’ve thought about since that May 17, moment on the rock. 

1. I could only do what I was trained to do. Head up – feet up. The training worked. I’m here, but I’m shaken up and not planning my next trip yet. 

2. A guide would have been helpful. A guide would have led me through the rapids and given me a chance to truly enjoy a beautiful day on the river. 

3. Painful moments help us remember what’s most important and we should shift our behavior accordingly. 

How do you emerge stronger when you are rocked to the core? Find the right guide for moving forward. Avoid navigating disruption without a clear map.  

If I would have read a field guide on that section of the river, I would have known what I was getting into and how to get through it.  

That why we’ve created A Leader’s Field Guide for ReEntry. We created a guide to help you navigate through disruption without having to make the choice of being rescued or praying you won’t drown.   

Learn more about the guide here.

Purchase the guide here and receive access to it today. You don’t have to wait.  

My Wife Wants A Garden The Size Of. A Swimming Pool

My wife has been planning a garden and so she asked me to prep it. She’s from Nebraska … so it’s going to be a big garden. (Think swimming pool size …)

My wife wants a garden, so after a week of praying that she would change her mind, I got on board when she had a friend drop off his tiller. Here are my steps:

Step 1: Get out the mower for the inaugural mow of the season

• Result: The belt popped off the mower 3 times. The swimming pool area is mowed, but that’s it…

Step 2: Learn to use the tiller my buddy dropped off

• Result: The ground still looks like I mowed … She called her dad who shared that there is a setting to adjust the tiller depth. Try #2 is coming tonight. On a positive note, I introduced my 14-year-old son to a pick ax as secondary option to tilling and gaining man muscles.

Step 3: Visit an essential business

• Result: Supporting the local economy

Am I frustrated? Yes. Today was the day it was going to happen. We fired up the Hustler and 90 seconds later the belt popped off. We put the belt back on. 64.2 seconds later the belt popped off.

Today was not much different than any other day during the past few weeks. Goals, ideas, and strategies are interrupted by something unplanned and frustrating.

We’re tired of it. What should take one hour is taking 4 hours and two nights.

I’m not sure how to avoid the gardening frustration (unless I knew how to use a tiller…)

However, I do know how we can make sure that the daily interruptions and frustrations don’t get the best of us. The mower will be fixed. The garden bed will be tilled. The goal will be accomplished. Life will go on.

You see - Meg (my wife) has a clear vision for the garden of what goes where and family and friends enlisted to help with it. So, I’m in. I love the idea. No matter what happens, we will adjust and overcome because I share in the vision.

We can’t avoid daily interruptions and uncertainty getting in the way, but when we have a clear shared vision (that is more than a trite statement), we can overcome and continue on. That’s the key…having a clear shared vision with clear priorities. We need to know and be committed to the daily steps that are necessary to move forward towards the dream.

When we have a clear vision, with clear direction, we can rest. We call it Finding The Eddy.

If you are tired of uncertainty and disruption getting in the way of your vision, change it up. Find The Eddy. Join our coaching group that begins April 15th and we will get there together.

Leading: Same Principles. Different Challenges.

We can call it whatever we want.

• Leading change.

• Leading in times of crisis.

• Leading during a pandemic.

• Leading in times of growth.

• Leading great teams.

• Leading dysfunctional teams.

• Leading digital teams.

• Leading collaborative teams.

We’ve been leading teams and developing leaders for a combined 30+ years at Insight Leadership Group and we’ve picked up on a few things leading through and consulting through mergers and acquisitions, mass layoffs, growing teams, etc…

There are some things that change and some that are always consistent in leadership.

The change is less about the skillet and more about the leaders heart. The changes are less about the leaders competency and more about the leaders ability to practice Emotional and Relational Intelligence in any circumstance.

That’s the hard part.

You are a leader and you know how to communicate. Knowing how to communicate effectively when you and your team are in a time of uncertainty is the challenge. It’s more about messaging from the heart and less about a phone call, zoom meeting or email. Your action step is to pull into the eddy and reset leading forward.

You are a leader and know you need to plan. Knowing how to plan effectively when you don’t know what tomorrow holds is the challenge. It’s more about leading towards a vision (Check out our Insight Action Guide) and less about leveraging Excel, Asana, or other project planning tools of your choice.

You are a leader and you know how to help people execute in an effective way. It’s not about clarifying expectations. It's more about inspiring the team to perform when everything is constantly changing at home and at work.

We have laid out three elements that we believe are crucial to being effective leaders in any situation and we are offering free zoom meetings to the first 99 who register for each event.

Step 1: Rest | Get your head and heart in the right place. Rest and pull into the eddy. We are going to offer a free webinar next week to help leaders pull into the eddy in the middle of the chaos. I think we are all in the chaos. Laura and I have been taking a few days to think, pray, and process through how we can provide value to you right now. We hope this helps. We appreciate you all and want to do what we can to support you and your teams in a meaningful way.

Session 1 | Find the Eddy | March 31 | 12:30 p.m.

Step Two: Hustle | We have no doubt you have been hustling since the news came. You are tired. That’s why we Rest first. When we are rested and less anxious we are more ready to communicate and work effectively. We are going to offer a free Zoom meeting after our Rest session with tangible reminders on how to leverage the Strength Deployment Inventory to make sure are communicating effectively with everyone during this time. If you haven’t taken the SDI 2.0 and you need some effective tools to help you leverage your strengths to [Rest. Hustle. Grind] right now, shoot us a message and we can get you set up with the assessment and a debrief coaching session.

Session 2 | Hustle | April 1 | 12:30 p.m.

Step Three: Grind | Often times when we are stressed, we see what is not happening, should be happening, and why it’s not happening…at least from our perspective. The Grind is about taking ownership and remaining agile. Everyone is practicing some form of agility right now in the middle of the uncertainty. We need to take ownership of the sub-cultures that may forming in this new arrangement. Intentionally getting focused on how to help your teams create and/or maintain the culture we want to be known for - now and when we get back to the office - is critical.

Session 3 | Grind | April 3 | 12:30 p.m.

Each session is limited to the first 99 participants. We look forward to seeing you online!

Day 3 | Working With Others While Working From Home Requires Flexibility, Kindness and Clarity.

Text, Slack, Microsoft Teams, Messenger, Zoom … We have so many ways to communicate from a distance. Words, sentences, abbr., emojis, CAPS, poor grammar… We have so many ways to make sure no one understands what we are saying.

Then we have to bring in the reality that we are all wired up differently, have different pressures, experience different challenges, and put it all together to work well with one another. Not just work well with one another, but set a new standard on how to work well with your team while getting great work done.

If you are having challenges or hoping to avoid some, below are a few tips that work when you are working from home as well as in the office. We leverage an amazing tool called Core Strengths 2.0 to help leaders and team communicate more effectively. It makes Emotional Intelligence applicable. Tim Scudder calls it Relationship Intelligence. If you want to make sure your team has the tools necessary to work well from home, give us a call and we can set up a series of Zoom debriefs to keep you on the right track to love life at work and life at home - even while you are working from there.

Here are three key practices we all need to implement while working from home:

Be Flexible | We have our way of working, communicating, and making decisions and everyone else has theirs. When you are working alone - obviously - work your way. When you need something from someone else - be flexible and help them work their way. If they are working their way - they will be leading from their strengths and I promise that produces better results.

Be Kind | We all have anxiety and stress. We are helping our kids with school at home. We are potty training kids. We are helping family members keep their hours by watching their kids. We are helping our clients. We are finding new rhythms to getting our work done. Here’s how we think about being kind at Insight Leadership. Lead with selfless ambition and value others. Get your work done and execute well. Don’t make it all about you when you when in reality, it’s not. While you execute, no matter the challenges, we should never feel the need to devalue others when we feel stressed or anxious. Be kind with your words. If you are misunderstood, apologize and work on improving your communication. This is where the Core Strengths tool makes a huge impact. For years I was misunderstood. That’s a nice way to put it. Other people would use 4 letter word descriptions about my behavior when I felt like I was in my “zone”… Now I know, and I can get work done and be kind all at the same time. I tell you what, if I can figure it out, you can too.

Be Clear | Clarity of expectations are crucial for success in any environment. Be clear about your expectations, clear about feedback, clear about what you can and can not do. Practice communicating in a way that others understand, not just in a way that you understand. If you continually feel misunderstood, give us a call and we will give you the tools be clear, kind and flexible so you can love working and love life after work.

Take a step back, and breathe. Take a look in the mirror and remind yourself that you are a great leader who is facing trying times. Center yourself in the core belief that you can lead with flexibility, kindness and clarity while bringing out the best in your teams by understanding and leveraging their unique strengths.