Dream: Your Ideal Future for 2024

Last week you reflected (if you didn’t – look up last week’s newsletter). This week is the time to Dream. Next week we get after it. 

What are your dreams … your ideal future? What do you really want? If you took some time to rest and reflect last week, inevitably your mind began to wander a bit. You began dreaming about what could be, maybe what should be … what can be and will be.

When dreaming about the future, there are a couple of parameters to help you discern if it’s a worthwhile dream to put to pen and paper. Let’s be real … not every thought we have is a wise thought worthy of pursuit! I would love to be a race car driver, but it might not be wise to pursue.

1. Does that dream honor and build up my family and the legacy I want to leave? Does that dream make my spouse and kids better? If not – it’s not a worthy dream. 

2. Does that short term dream put me in a position to pursue the long-term dream? 

3. Does the dream help me steward the resources and organization entrusted to me?

You get the idea. Don’t pursue in the short term what might not help you get you to where you want to be in the long term. Don’t pursue in the short term what might damage what you are entrusted to steward (i.e. lead).

I dream of playing lots of golf. That short term dream would cause me to miss too much family time, and so it’s not worth pursuing. The short-term fun does not get me to where I want to be long term. 

So, when I’m asking about what you dream about, let’s consider the implications before getting overrun with excitement.

Let’s put dreams into four buckets.

1)  Personal 

• Health and fitness goals

• Going back for more school or education

• Engage back into church and a healthy spiritual life 

2)  Professional

• Grow your business from Y to Z? 

• Expand with a new product offering?

• Pursue a new role and promotion?

3)  Relational 

• Bring your best to your spouse and re-engage on how to love like you used to in this new season of life

• Commit to take advantage of time with your kids and family

• Commit to restore relationships that are tense or broken 

4)  Financial 

• What are your goals for this year to set you up for future years financially?

• What’s your end goal at retirement?

• How do you prepare for kids or yourself going back to college? 

What are your dreams for those four buckets? What do you really want? Is your dream worthy of the sacrifice?

Do me a favor and don’t start strategizing yet. Keep dreaming. 
Write a descriptive paragraph about your dream and what you want. What do you want your life to look like, relationships to look like, business to look like? Think of yourself like an artist with your words and your job, and bring your vision to life. Articulate what you want. What do you actually want? Write it down. Then share it. 

Before saying why something is not possible or strategizing to make it possible … run your dream through the discernment filter and make sure you are on track with the legacy you want to leave. Then take the time to share your dream with your spouse, trusted friends, and family. Remember – just because they don’t agree or understand doesn’t mean you don’t pursue (unless it’s your spouse, then you need to keep gaining alignment). 

Next week we will dive into some ways to take your dream to reality in 2024. However, take time to keep dreaming this week while celebrating the new year. 

If you need some help processing what you are dreaming about or what your goals are – set yourself up with coaching and let us help you clarify what you want with the right steps in place to get you there. 

Rest and Reflect: Looking Back on 2023

The year is ending. We are going to have two posts to finish the year and another to kick off the year.  

This week we want you to reflect.
Next week we want you to dream. (Dec 26)
The first week of the new year we want to get after it. (Jan 3)

Rather than try and do everything at once, why don’t we slow down and rest a bit? One of my favorite memories of 2023 was standing in the Snake River outside of Yellowstone National Park while attempting to fly fish. The weather was almost as good as the scenery, and I actually rested. While resting, my mind had the opportunity to process the year and think through what was good, what wasn’t and where I wanted to go. 

The second most restful moment was on the beach in Hawaii next to my bride while celebrating 20 years of marriage. This rest was different on a lounge chair listening to the ocean, but my mind was still able to reflect and think forward without feeling the rush of getting to the next meeting. 

My hope is that during this holiday season you can spend some time resting. While rushing around for last minute gifts, holiday parties, and Christmas celebrations, how are you going to manage your calendar so that you “rest” and “reflect”?

Too often we only reflect while reactionary. We look back in the heat of the moment and make decisions during a heightened sense of emotion. This isn’t always bad, but I think we all agree this isn’t always good. 

Before dreaming and setting big goals for 2024 and beyond, answer the following questions. If you get hung up on the questions, schedule some leadership coaching for the new year and we will help you reflect, dream and get after it. 

1) What are you most proud of in 2023 at work? 

• What results or outcomes come to mind?

• What stories of impacting people come to mind? 

2) What are your biggest regrets of 2023 at work?     

• What about that experience makes it a big regret?

• If you encounter similar circumstances in 2024, what will you do differently? 

3) What are you most proud of at home in 2023? 

• What stories come to mind?

• Who can you celebrate these moments with? 

4) What are your biggest regrets at home in 2023? 

• What about that experience makes it a regret?

• If you encounter similar circumstances in 2024, what will you do differently? 

Before dreaming forward, let’s take the time to rest and reflect. Too often we miss the “rest” and jump straight into a dream. However, there is a reason the gym will be full in about 2 weeks and empty in February. Reactionary reflection leads to reactionary decisions. Reactionary decisions are not rooted in what’s most important to us and that’s why we don’t stick with those decisions. 

Rest and Reflect. Sometimes this is a bit painful. Sometimes it’s joyful. Most of the time it’s a mix of both. However, this is crucial. It is personally buying into where you want to go in 2024.

Next week, let’s take the time to dream a bit. 

In the meantime.

• Spend some time with friends.

• Take your kids to breakfast. 

• Read a book.

• Go to the gym.

• Prep your favorite meal to share with friends and family. 

• Instill new traditions for Christmas and carry-on current traditions.

Merry Christmas,

Love Life @ Work. Love Life @ Home. 

Michael Brown and the Insight Team (i.e. Ryan and Deena)

_____________ 

Three intentional steps to rest and reflect upon the past year as you prep for 2024. [ryan@insightlg.com]:

1. Virtual Coffee: Let's chat about your leadership. What do you see when you look at your team?

2. Executive Coaching: Prepare yourself to make the right shifts in approach to lead with effectiveness and drive the results you want to see.

3. Lead with Courage & Conviction: Learn more about our executive leadership experiences that prepare you to leave a legacy worth remembering. Distilled 2024 is coming!! Get in on the Early Bird rate. See details below.

Reflect and Go: Learning the Art of "Rowing Your Boat"

Have you ever been in a rowboat? It’s interesting isn't it? You know where you are going by looking at where you have been. The rower has their back facing the destination but can move towards the future without fear because they can see what they’ve overcome.

Earlier this year, Meg was working on one of her Behold Collective Studies. While studying the Hebrew language in the book of Jeremiah, this analogy came to life. The Hebrew language doesn’t have a concept of the future. They viewed the future as if they were a person in a rowboat. The rower cannot see what’s behind them, aka, their destination or future. What the rower can see, is the past and present.

In the case of the Hebrew people, when looking at their past and present, they could see the faithfulness of their God. Therefore, because they trusted the faithfulness of their God, they could row into the future with no worry or fear.

The first time she shared the passage in Scripture with me, I wanted to argue a bit. You see – I like to think that where I have been doesn’t determine where I will go. There is some truth to that, but I was missing the point. I can look back on where I’ve been and find hope in where I’m going.

We’ve been through the ringer a few times in life; we had highs and lows, and, yet, we are still rowing. I’m not willing to say I'm living with no worry or fear, but I do try! I don’t know where Titus (my oldest son) is going to college, I don’t know what 2024 will look like for Insight with a changing market – there are things I may or may not worry about. But I can look to where we were and be confident in where we will end up.
 
We are now in December of 2023. Before plowing ahead to 2024, take some time to reflect on 2023. Review your personal purpose, 2023 goals, and personal values. 

• What did you mourn?

• What do you need to celebrate?

• Are you proud of who you are today? How come?

• Explain how your personal purpose came to life in 2023?

• Are you loving life at work? Journal your thoughts.

• Are you loving life at home? Journal your thoughts.

• What are you most looking forward to in 2024 at work?

• What are you most looking forward to in 2024 at home?

• What adjustments are you going to make to your decision making to ensure what you are looking forward to comes to life?

 
Our purpose at Insight Leadership Group is to help leaders love life at work and love life at home. We know that when you love life in the most important areas of life – success at work tends to follow. Let’s worry less about if we will get to where we want to go and focus more on rowing well today. That’s what will get us to where we need to go. 

Gratitude. Resilience. Purpose. Don’t Forget To Be Thankful on Thanksgiving

There are a few realities from the past few years that have been front and center for all of us.

1. As much as I want to control – I can’t.

2. I need to plan but can’t put my self-worth in my plans.

3. Everything can change in a moment.

4. Gratitude is about perspective. Don’t lose perspective.

 During our change management sessions we discuss the VUCA model. Check out a quick excerpt here. Basically, this is a simple model that shares the reality that external factors will disrupt our work and life. We know that if we focus solely on what changes and what we can’t control, we will miss out. However, there are some things within our control. Let’s focus on what we can do, not what we can’t. I promise when we focus on what we can do instead of what we can’t – we will find a place of gratitude.
 
This week, I’m not sure what is grabbing your attention. Here’s a snippet of my Monday morning:

• We still have 8 mountains of leaves to burn and it’s raining …

• My boys need to learn responsibility and get their chores done before turning on anything digital ... why do they keep forgetting?

• Can I get all my invoices paid in the next 45 days …

• What’s the best way to smoke a turkey, spatchcock or not?

• How do we close out a great 4th quarter and be ready for an awesome 2024?

• What can I do to grow the business when the market is changing …?

 In the back of my mind as I think about those things, I think about the reality that Meg was in Israel for 22 days studying last year. What if we had postponed her trip? What if she had been there during the Hamas attack? Are the incredible friends she met over there okay? How can we be worrying about what to make for dinner or where to go and then all of a sudden be worrying about if we are even going to be able to eat dinner or see our family again?
 
When looking at some of the terrifying conflicts around the world – It’s sobering and it helps me to not put so much energy into what worries me on a daily basis.
 
I pray that this week if we are fortunate enough to spatchcock, fry, or grill a turkey, that we can find the time to stress less and be thankful more. If are you are roasting a turkey in the oven … I wish you luck!
 
With that--here are my top 9 reminders that help me remain grateful. If you want talk through any of them set up a time to chat!
 

1. Thankful I’m learning that my family is more important than email.

2. Thankful for the realization that client relationships are more important than the next sale.

3. Thankful my biggest Thanksgiving challenge is about smoking and spatchcocking a turkey.

4. Thankful God continues to work through me despite me being me.

5. Thankful my little Alice fell asleep on my lap after a bedtime story.

6. Thankful I’ve aligned my team for physical health.

7. Thankful for a kick butt team at Insight Leadership Group.

8. Thankful for a good church community and friendships.

9. Thankful for the ability to enjoy a quality French press coffee.

 Here’s the deal. There are plenty of things to complain about. What’s the point?  Life is better when we practice gratitude. There will always be something we don’t like, something we don’t appreciate, something that makes us a but anxious. However, we don’t have to let those “somethings” take control of our mind, thoughts, and actions.
 
This Thanksgiving – let the people closest to you and your friends at Insight Leadership Group know what you are thankful for.

Who knows  … we might even watch the Cowboys win this Thanksgiving.

What's Your Proximity: Lead Your Team Whether it's Calm or Tumultuous

After an early morning flight, I found myself preparing for my next session with the beautiful Atlantic Ocean in view on Amelia Island. I could hear the waves splashing onto the shore along with the quietness of the beach. This particular Tuesday afternoon was about as peaceful as it gets.
 
The ocean is mind blowing. The rip tide signs were out that morning. From a distance, the ocean is so peaceful and calming. However, when I stepped in, the water was freezing. The cold water iced my veins. and, if I went a few steps further, the rip tide would try to pull me out and under.
 
It’s amazing how something can seem so peaceful from afar, but, up close, it’s tumultuous. Is it fair to say that our perspective is determined by our proximity?
 
Does this ever play out?

• How many new leaders have joined your award-winning organizations and after the “honeymoon” period, they feel like they waded into a riptide?

• How many of leaders stay on the shore strategizing and closing deals without realizing the managers and frontline team members feel like they are holding on for dear life just trying to stay afloat?

• How many of us have seen and congratulated a “high performing” leader, but the team views them as toxic? Then we promote the toxic leader and further reinforce the rip tide is here to stay?

 
Here’s the deal. If you don’t know what to look for and if you don’t see the signs, then you don’t know it’s there. Everything looks good, but it’s not.
 
The leaders can be sipping mojitos on the beach while working hard. The view from afar is great, but, if they don’t step into the water every now and then, they won’t really know what the team is dealing with and how they can help.
 
So what do you do? How do you stay strategic while also knowing what’s happening with the current?  

Here are a few ideas.  

1. Keep an open dialogue with managers. Skip a level for a coffee every now and then. Remember: if you don’t get “real” feedback, it’s because you don’t have a “real” relationship. Once you are trusted, you will receive news of the riptide and frigid waters.

2. Step into water to see how it feels. Observe and experience the systems, processes, and challenges of the team. Let them know you are not afraid to take the step into their world, and let them know you will work diligently to provide wet suits and proper training to navigate the rip tide.

3. Bring Insight Leadership Group in to conduct a Cultural Healthy Inventory. Gain a granular snap shot of what is great and what needs work to keep everyone moving forward while loving life at work and loving life at home.

 
The ocean is a peculiar place to be ... something so peaceful and yet something that can be so tumultuous. It’s the same with our organizations and teams. If we don’t pay attention to what’s happening in the water, and if we don’t pay attention to the climate, we won’t be ready to weather the storms that roll in. Stay connected to your team, so when the waves are surging in at 20 feet and the damaging winds are howling, you are ready to lead them through the storm safely.
 
If you are a senior level leader without the energy to walk down to the water, then commit to join us at Distilled on Feb 28-March 1 to focus on rest and purpose.


Three intentional steps to be prepared regardless of the wind and the waves in your organization. [ryan@insightlg.com]:

1. Virtual Coffee: Let's chat about your leadership. What do you see when you look at your team?

2. Executive Coaching: Prepare yourself to make the right shifts in approach to lead with effectiveness and drive the results you want to see.

3. Lead with Courage & Conviction: Learn more about our executive leadership experiences that prepare you to leave a legacy worth remembering. Distilled 2024 is coming!! Get in on the Early Bird rate. See details below.

The Sideline System: Leveraging Instant Feedback for Team Development

We spend our Friday nights on the sidelines of Farmington Football games. Our oldest son, Titus, was persuaded to be the kicker this season. We cheer for every PAT, field goal, and kickoff, like you have never heard!
 
Something intrigues me every game. They have a big screen TV on the sideline and when the defense or offense comes off the field, they go straight to the TV to see a bird’s eye view of what just occurred. At first, I felt a little bad for the players having to watch any mistake they just made, but, as the season continues, I love what the coaches are doing.
 
Friday evening, I asked Titus how coaches leverage the tool. The head coach says his number one goal is to build character. Character is built through what we do when no one is looking and what we do when everyone is looking. On that screen – nothing is hidden. Each player has role and a task. The team relies on their teammates to execute on that task to help the team perform. When a player doesn’t do their job, the team struggles. Right when they come off the field, coaches help the players game plan on how to overcome the same mistake on the next play so they can improve; and coaches learn to call better plays. Teenagers are learning how to see their mistakes, to be called out for their mistakes and go back into the game to fix their mistakes week in and week out. These teenagers are learning how to be resilient and continue to perform.
 
The players get better when:

• There is transparency to the team.

• There is effective coaching to every player on the team.

• There is commitment from the players to the team.

The sideline system is built for instant feedback to develop the team. Organizations and leaders might take notes. I’m not advocating for a replay after every team meeting. I am advocating for consistent and constant conversations on what went well, what didn’t go well and how we can improve. What if you developed a sideline culture of coaching and accountability?
 
Have you dealt with or seen any of the following?

• Team members fearful of being caught for making a mistake?

• Team members executing a plan for code without making sure it’s going to consistently work?

• Team members ignoring the strategic plan and going rogue making everyone’s life harder?

• Team members fearful of calling others out who end up exhausted while wasting valuable time and resources?

• Mangers too fearful to address a mistake and so the mistakes continue?

 Let’s take some notes from the Farmington football sidelines and create a culture of growth and development. Could you imagine team members walking up to you and asking for feedback because they want to improve? Could you imagine every manager coaching their coach to keep developing without waiting for quarterly or annual reviews?
 
At Insight Leadership Group, we provide coaching and facilitation with a proven track record to help create a culture of ownership and accountability through effective coaching. If you agree with the problem, but don’t know how to fix it yet – let's talk!
 
In the meantime, give Titus a shout on Friday night!

Leaky Snorkels and Shrimp Shacks: It's not always about your ability. It's about your tools!

The plan was set. We were going to snorkel and ride horses on the beach. That’s when I made the executive decision that the only way we could get there safely was to rent a 5-speed manual slingshot. Thankfully, Meg agreed. We were zipping around the coastline of Oahu getting hot and hungry. That meant it was time for lunch and time to snorkel!

 We pulled up on the “Shrimp Shack” in a small town. The Shrimp Shack was a small food truck that looked like the perfect balance of sketchy and awesome. Apparently, the Food Network stopped by and agreed. Our hunger was more than satisfied and we took our attention to the ocean. The convenience store by the Shrimp Shack sold snorkeling and diving gear next to the Celsius and Hershey Outrageous Bars, so it seemed trustworthy …

 We purchased the snorkeling gear and hopped in Sharks Cove up the road because it sounded like a safe place to take in sea life. Meg started snorkeling like a pro, and I started to question my ability to excel in outdoor activities. This wasn’t my first snorkeling excursion, but, for some reason, I couldn’t figure out how to keep the ocean from leaking inside my mask. I’ve snorkeled in Playa De Carmen, St. Croix, St Vincent, and Florida!  My mind was blown that for some reason I couldn’t snorkel successfully in Sharks Cove. My confidence was shot!

 This reminds me of leadership. Sometimes we rely so much on what we have done before that we don’t realize why it won’t work today. The tools of the past aren’t always the tools that will work in the present. If you have hung out with us, you have probably heard us say, “What got you to where you are will not get you to where you need to be.” This is true of our skillsets and our tools.

 We see this with new executives often. When you were a director over one department you grew up in, everything came to you. You were an expert in that vertical of the business. The way you led meetings, made decisions, and mentored, helped you and others succeed. However, now you are a VP, and three of the verticals you now steward are not quite in your wheelhouse. Now, you realize the tools in your toolbox are not the right tools for the new job. You are surviving but struggling to realize why it’s so difficult and exhausting.

 We see this in sales leaders who move industries. They were winning the Champions Club year over year selling copiers or appliances, but quickly realize consultative selling is not quite the same. They must learn new skills, but the tools of the past aren’t working efficiently. Sometimes it’s not your ability. It’s more about the tools you are using that aren’t working.

 After horseback riding later in the afternoon, I gave snorkeling another try and realized the seal connecting the breathing apparatus to the snorkel was letting water in. No matter how hard I was trying to use the tool correctly, the tool was flawed … and my snorkeling performance was less than stellar. The tool was broken, not my ability! While the ocean water I drank made me sick, my confidence was restored. Thankfully, I spent an extra $15 for Meg’s gas station snorkel, and she was all good.

It's not always your ability – sometimes it’s the tool you choose!!

 *Are you struggling to lead through and anchor change? Maybe you need new tools to think through, gain buy-in and anchor the change?

*Are you struggling to connect with a new tenured team? Maybe you need tools to lead with RQ and assimilate with your new team?

*Are you struggling to present to the SLT influentially? Maybe you need new tools to present influentially?

*Are you struggling to remain strategic during constant change? Maybe you need new tools to stay strategic while constantly dealing with adversity?

 Listen – You are awesome, but you might be attempting to be awesome with a leaky snorkel! Therefore, you are struggling and taking in ocean water while trying to stay healthy. Those two things don’t go hand in hand.

 You have bright spots in your leadership ... like driving a 5-speed sling shot and stopping at the Shrimp Shack. But overall, the leaky snorkel is tanking your success.

Sometimes we can spot the challenges quickly on our own. Sometimes we need some help to find the leak and the right tools to fix it. Instead of struggling to figure it on your own – why don’t you give us a call to see if we can help?

At the minimum – Ryan and I will help you enjoy a 45-minute virtual coffee. At the maximum, you start to have more hope that you can love your life at work and love your life at home. Learn to have hope that instills the same kind of joy I had zipping around Oahu in a 5-speed convertible slingshot while enjoying amazing seafood from a sketchy award-winning food truck.

Book a time to chat, and stop drinking ocean water.

The Push: Leadership Lessons From Surfing

Meg, Pat, Julia, Peter, Tiffany, Jess, David, Roger, Ann, Kent, Carrie, Stephen, Scott, Chris, Kevin, Kurt, Cassie, Marcy, Craig, Stephanie, Tom, Brian, Andrea, Curtis, Nick, Russ, Reece, Cedric, Bill, Ryan, Deena … These are some of the names of people who have made a significant impact on me and inspire what we get to do at Insight Leadership Group. Where I am, what we get to do, and who we get to support is not because of me. I did not do this on my own. I wouldn’t be doing this work without the people who have coached, encouraged, trusted, referred, helped, and pushed me. 

This reminds me of what I recently learned from surfing on our anniversary trip. Three leadership lessons came to life:

1. Without initiative we watch.

2. Without momentum we fall.

3. Without a “push” we miss. 

Principle #1 | Without initiative we watch 

During our 20th anniversary, I finally gained the courage to go surfing. After swimming around Waikiki beach and fending off the sharks, I felt confident to stay safe out there on the board. We were lounging on the beach for the second day under the umbrella and I kept watching people surf. The umbrella was nice, but surfing seemed more exciting. It sounds too simple, but the only way I was going to go surfing was if I was signed up for lessons.  

There are some things in life that simply don’t happen if we don’t take initiative. If you want to take a lead on a project, take initiative to be awesome on your current project. If you want to grow your career, then take initiative to explore your options. 

Some things will not happen and cannot happen if we don’t take a step forward to make them happen. If you find yourself dreaming about what you could do...or...watching others do what you want to do...it might be time to take initiative towards accomplishing what you want to do.

Principle #2 | Without momentum we fall 

My surfing coach showed me how to surf while on the sand. Let’s just say, after proper instruction, I nailed it and my wife was proud. I didn’t even fall. Then we got in the water and started swimming towards the area where the cool kids on surfboards hang out. When we finally arrived, I couldn’t feel my arms, but I could still float. The hotel pools didn’t prepare me to swim a “mile” in the ocean.

I began to practice my new skill of getting up on the board – and fell right away. Apparently, with no momentum, it’s tough to stand on the board. All of a sudden my coach yelled, “START PADDLING!!! , START PADDLING!!!”, so I started paddling on the board as fast as I could. A turtle could have passed me, but I was digging in. I didn’t know what was going to happen next, but all of sudden I felt a push, and it was as if I was gliding on the water. Then I stood up on the board and started surfing! The feeling was incredible. Over the next 90 minutes I rode some waves! All it took was a little momentum and a push for the skills we were practicing to be leveraged. 

We are with great leaders every year who have a ridiculous amount of talent, passion and capability. Sometimes the leaders just need a little push to lead with RQ (Relationship Intelligence) and find a little momentum to get to where they need to go. 

It’s kind of like when leadership teams try to make a quick change without getting buy-in from their middle managers who are tasked to champion the change. That’s like trying to surf with no wave. It’s not going to work. The skill of leading change and strategic communication is there, but without taking the time to build momentum the change efforts fail. 

Principle #3 Without a push we miss

Here's the deal. If you took me surfing next week, I don’t believe I would be able to go surf with you. I could rent a board, swim out to sea and paddle ferociously trying to catch a wave. However, I don’t know how to read the water, I don’t know when to paddle. Unless my coach is behind giving me a little push – I’m not gliding on the water. Not yet. I don’t have enough momentum. My coach made it possible for me to accomplish my goal to start surfing. He gave me the push. 

Many of us are where we are because of a “push”. Many of us won’t get to where we need to go without the next “push”. 

You might be a solopreneur, lawyer, CEO, or Sr. VP … but not one person is fully successful on their own. Everyone who has a dose of reality can remember who helped them to get to where they are today. 

Our success has come from the success and push of the people around us. That’s a good thing, especially when we remember that reality.

What’s next? 

1. Say thank you to the people who have given you the “push”. 

2. Invest in your team and be the leader who helps them build the skill and gain the momentum to do something new.

3. If you are ready, reach out to explore if Insight Coaching is the right step for you to receive the “push” you need to lead at the next level or lead successfully where you are.

______________ 

Three intentional steps to push yourself towards the next wave of success in your leadership: [ryan@insightlg.com]:

1. Virtual Coffee: Let's chat about your leadership. What do you see when you look at your team?

2. Executive Coaching: Prepare yourself to make the right shifts in approach to lead with effectiveness and drive the results you want to see.

3. Lead with Courage & Conviction: Learn more about our executive leadership experiences that prepare you to leave a legacy worth remembering.

Why You Should Leave Your Laptop: Finding Healthy Rhythms and Rest

It’s embarrassing to share. Meg and I went to Hawaii to celebrate our 20th anniversary. We hung out for a little over a week on the beach. The most stressful part of packing was weighing whether I should bring my laptop or not. Should I capitalize airport time, flight time and down time at the beach to stay on top of things and keep prepping for a busy fall? I can spin it many ways, but the question was really: Should I work on my anniversary trip because I’m afraid of what will happen if I don’t? Can the world survive a week of me fully checking out? How ridiculous is that? Meg and I are about to take our dream anniversary trip and I’m worried about whether I should work or not work!!
 
Have you ever been there? You've been prepping for a family trip and part of your prep is how to keep working while still resting and focusing on your family? Do we really wonder why mental illness, stress, exhaustion, anxiety, depression, and isolation our plaguing our workplaces, homes and communities? 
 
Do we wonder why it’s such a challenge to move up in our careers and increase work capacity while continuing to fall more in love with our spouses and invest in our children?

Here’s how ridiculous I can be:

• Should I wake up, drink amazing Kona Coffee with my bride while listening to the ocean ... or ... check my email and keep prepping for an upcoming strategy session?

• Should I snorkel, surf, and enjoy the rest ... or ... work on clarifying our next Distilled experience?

• Should I focus on where to eat with my wife of 20 years ... or ... hone my calendar for October?

Thankfully, commonsense and courage kicked in the night before we flew out and I left the computer. Somehow, we survived. We survived because I have an awesome team and amazing clients.
 
What’s the point of this post?

Leaders – we will not be healthy leaders without healthy rhythms and rest. Here are a few examples of healthy rhythms.

• Check Out: Actually invest in your family on weekend trips, vacations and family dinners. Fight the urge to justify working all hours all the time.

• Exercise: Break a sweat and exercise a few times a week to keep your body working the way it’s made to work.

• Game Plan: Walk through the weekly schedule with your significant other and kids to help mitigate unneeded stress in the week. Find ways to support one another, where you need more support and how to manage a busy week without letting the busyness ruin your week. Plan a family dinner, plan a mini-date, and plan on investing in your children.

We are back from vacation and our life is back in full swing once again, just like yours. Meg is in her final semester of grad school. Titus is in his senior year. Elliott is in his freshman year. Ezra is a 5th grader. Alice is a first grader.
 
Right now, I'm balancing: four sports teams, music lessons and a lot of different schools for the kids. I’m traveling for work. I'm attending weekend soccer trips. I'm investing in my kids' faith and trying to fully maximize a big year for our family. Healthy rhythms are key to staying healthy. They are key to staying rooted in purpose and making an impact that leaves a legacy we want to remember.
 
Reach out if you need help loving life at work and loving life at home.
 

(Note: We didn’t make it to Maui, but our hearts are breaking over the destruction. Find ways to help if you can).

Three intentional steps either to find better rhythms and incorporate appropriate rest in your leadership: [ryan@insightlg.com]:

1. Virtual Coffee: Let's chat about your leadership. What do you see when you look at your team?

2. Executive Coaching: Prepare yourself to make the right shifts in approach to lead with effectiveness and drive the results you want to see.

3. Lead with Courage & Conviction: Learn more about our executive leadership experiences that prepare you to leave a legacy worth remembering.

Giving Up Your "Bike": Knowing When It's Right to Move Out of the Way

Have you ever recognized that moment when the one you are training up is now ready to pass you up? The proper leadership advice is to celebrate the success of the next generation and gladly move out of the way. I’m not sure about you, but the pride in me sometimes drives me to want to push harder, which means that I can stay in the way.

Titus, my 17-year-old, and I were mountain biking at Centennial the other day. It’s my first time back on a bike since a knee injury in March. Titus rode behind me not because he was slower, but because he was watching out for me! A couple of years ago, I was riding slower to watch out for him and to teach him how to ride.  Now the roles have swapped. A few times on the trail, I found myself trying harder and going faster at attempting to keep the pace, but the attempts were short lived due to my limited lung capacity and choosing humility over a hospital visit! The whole time he knew he could ride in front, but he choose to stay behind.

The question for me became: How long will I hold him back?

During that ride it became clear that this was a perfect picture of the joys and pains of succession planning. Leaders are always expected to be developing their replacement so they can take on new roles. That means you are working yourself out of a job so you can take on a new one.

When leaders don’t develop a replacement:

*            They get stuck in a rut.

*            They lose leadership capacity and organizational influence.

*            They lose their emerging leaders to competitors.

When leaders develop a replacement:

*            They continually take on new challenges.

*            They gain leadership capacity and a voice in the organization.

*            They build up high performing leaders.

Quite frankly – those 6 bullets (above) aren’t anything new to most of you. What we don’t talk about very often is the challenge of “getting out of the way”. What we’re talking about is the recognition that our self-worth and value is not wrapped up in what we have done or where we are going. The tasks we have successfully completed are not the sum of our identity. They are simply work that we are good at and love to do. Because our self-worth is not wrapped up in our work, we can build up others at work without fear of losing our self-worth and value.

You might be trying to barrel down the trail right now while holding on to aspects of your job that deep down you know belong to the emerging leader who’s waiting for you to pass the baton of the task, project, or role on to them. You are taking on too much and limiting the development of your team. They will only stay behind you for so long.

This is when you must dig deep and have the courage to make the change. Swallow your pride and do for them what you want someone else to do for you. Leave a legacy worth remembering by improving the life of your team members. Don’t be like the rider making everyone slow down simply because you want to stay in front. Moving out of the way doesn’t make you less valuable or less worthy. Moving out of the way means you’ve done something right, and you will find new ways to bring value to the team.

You might be in a place right now where you have made the handoff and you are watching your successor succeed. Now you are working hard to learn what it means to lead the organization and not a department, or lead a department instead of team, or lead a team instead of project. Lean in and make the shift. Study, seek mentors, call us to coach you, or do whatever you need to do to succeed in your new stage of life and work. Don’t look back on what used to be; look forward to what CAN BE.

You might be in a place like my son, Titus, when we were on the bike trail. You know you can move faster, smoother and better, but you keep watch out of respect and empathy. Be patient, ask the right questions, and seek feedback. When the opportunity to move up presents itself, then take it. Don’t lead with false humility and sink back saying you aren’t ready. Say you are ready and then rock-n-roll.

For leaders, leadership is about building others up. Leadership is not about holding on to power and responsibility for dear life. Leadership isn’t “white-knuckling”.

My son and I made it to the top of hill. I was allowing oxygen to enter my body when we heard a large “POP”. The bike tire on my son’s bike exploded. He was ready for 7 more miles, and I was cooked. That’s when we traded bikes, and I sent him on the next leg of the ride. There was no reason to hold him back. The leader’s role is to provide resources to help team members succeed. Sometimes that might mean giving away what’s been yours.

*            What challenges have you felt while waiting to step into a new role?

*            What challenges have you faced while preparing someone to take on your role?

*            What joys have you experienced while helping leaders develop and take the next step in their careers?

Despair Is Not A Winning Strategy

It was the perfect ending to great work week. We arrived at the small airport early to focus on a couple of important calls and I was feeling on top of the world. The client I was traveling with had pretty good “status” and we went from economy to first class. Then it happened. “Delayed Flight”. We had a good window of time with our connection, so it wasn’t too stressful yet, but the goal was to get home!
 

We made a tough choice between the two restaurants at the airport and while we ordered beverages and nachos we got the notice on our American Airlines app – flight canceled. They were promising to get us home the next night, but our goal was to get home sooner. I had an important session with United Bank in the morning and my client had a golf tournament. We had to get home.
 

Have you been there? Everything is going great and then all of a sudden, it’s not. You have no control over what is happening, but you do have control over how you navigate the situation.
 
Many in the airport were on the phone complaining. The Canadian wildfire smoke was impacting the flights. Circumstances shifted and so did their hope. This reminds us that despair is not a winning strategy. The definition of despair is misery, discouragement, anguish, agony and distress. It leads to uncertainty and hopelessness.
 
We can let others control our situation (and out attitude), or take the bull by the horns and figure it out. Despair is not a winning strategy. About 3 hours from when I typed this, my family and I were in Grand Teton National Park. The six of us were making our way on 2.87 mile hike (hard core) and then my wife I heard a noise. It made the hair stick up on my neck and that’s plenty of hair! A grizzly bear was in the area. Listen – I want to see a bear, but I want to see it from my car. I don’t trust the bear spray to take care of my family even though I was carrying it. Here’s the deal – despair would get me no where. When circumstances outside of our control impact our world, we have to be ready to adapt and overcome.
 
Back to the airport. We weren’t there long. Within 27 minutes we had a rental car and my flight was booked from Philly to Dallas and Dallas to XNA. We navigated our not-so-ideal situation with hope, not despair!
 
Despair is NOT a winning strategy. When life changes take a breath, and think about how to accomplish your goal instead of thinking about what you can’t influence or control.
 
So what happened with the bear? After we wrestled the grizzly, our phone batteries died so we couldn’t take a picture.



Three intentional steps to develop your winning leadership strategy [learn more: ryan@insightlg.com]:

1. Virtual Coffee: Let's chat about your leadership. What do you see when you look at your team?

2. Executive Coaching: Prepare yourself to make the right shifts in approach to lead with effectiveness and drive the results you want to see.

3. Lead with Courage & Conviction: Learn more about our executive leadership experiences that prepare you to leave a legacy worth remembering.

Maximize Your Margin: Does maximizing opportunity minimize impact?

When I was kid I loved to maximize every opportunity. By “opportunity” I mean, when my parents would let me pour my own Dr. Pepper. My goal was to pour it right to the brink of spilling. One bump on the cabinet would cause a spill, but, if the environment stayed absolutely perfect, I could pour it to where it looked like the DP was actually above the edge of the glass. Thus, I maximized the opportunity to enjoy a good beverage. 

Last Thursday, I was making the perfect French press coffee and I found myself doing the same thing. I wanted to maximize the coffee and when you pour too much water into the French press, two things can happen:
1)    You can water down what could be great
2)    You can quickly spill when completing the “press” 

That’s when it hit me. I still have some growth to do … It’s natural for me to try and maximize the hours in a day with coaching appointments, facilitations and business development meetings. I love meeting and helping the leader we serve and have a hard time not accepting the meeting even when I’m starting to fill every slot on my calendar. I want to maximize the opportunity to help everyone. 

But then it happens ... With no margin in the glass the coffee will spill. With no margin in my calendar something will lose quality or “spill”. 

In my world that looks like:

• trying to do email or wrap-up team calls instead of coaching soccer practice. 

• staying up late to work after dinner and not spending that quality time with family and not resting to reset

• losing sight of what’s most important because I’m so focused on what’s right in front

The inevitable outcome of never leaving margin and trying to maximize every opportunity is that instead of maximizing every opportunity, we miss the most important aspects of our leadership role and life. This leads to stress, burnout, exhaustion and mistakes. 

With no margin we have no strategic thinking.
With no margin we have no time to coach our team.
With no margin we force others to sacrifice because we don’t have time.

While it’s fun to see how much we can pour into a glass ... and while it’s fun to maximize profit and opportunity in a week ... It’s never fun to water down great coffee and spill a sip. 

Take a look at your calendar and see if there are some areas of margin? If there is no margin work diligently to find it. 

Here are three tips:

1. Move meetings to 30-45 minute instead of 60 and start gaining 15 minutes extra every hour.

2. Look at your meeting list and empower others to go to meetings you don’t need to be in.

3. Look at your task list and determine what you need to let go of so you can focus on what you need to focus on.

Bonus Tip: Set up a coaching session to truly take your leadership to the next level. 

The Kansas Gas Shower: Reconnecting With What Fuels You

We made it into Kansas and quickly pulled into a Valero gas station and started the normal routine. You know the drill:

• Swipe the card

• Select the gas type

• Pump gas into the car

As we did the normal routine something unique happened. A shower of gas began spewing from the top of the pump area. It was 5:45 am, so it took me a moment to process what I was seeing and smelling. This was my first gas shower.
 
It’s interesting really. Gallons of gasoline were flowing by my car but doing nothing to help my car be ready for the next leg of the journey.
 

Have you ever felt that way? All of the resources are right around you, but you are disconnected. Therefore, they are doing nothing for you.
 
Sometimes we can have all the resources nearby, but for some reason we can’t seem to tap into them. There’s a disconnect. This disconnect might be because of your mistakes. The disconnect might be because of the mistakes of others. The disconnect might be because your routine is no longer working. Either way – the disconnect is hindering your ability to tap into the resources you need.
 

So what do you do to reconnect?
 
Back to the Valero gas station: I quickly ran into the gas station and the only way they could shut off the gas shower was by shutting down all the pumps. The only way they could fix the problem was by shutting down to reset.
 
Sometimes, the smartest thing we can do when we feel disconnected is to shut down the problem for a moment and reset. Here’s the thing: if you can’t shut down the gas shower, you can’t reconnect the pump. If you can’t reconnect the pump, you can’t refuel the car.
 
We never want to slow down because we say we don’t have time. But, if we don’t slow down, we can’t reconnect and gain access to the resources we need around us.
 
Send a note or make a comment and let us know how you are you going to slow down for a moment so you can reconnect with what fuels you. Just a thought: maybe your fuel is your purpose …


Three intentional steps to slow down so you can reconnect with what fuels you and fire up your leadership [learn more: ryan@insightlg.com]:

1. Virtual Coffee: Let's chat about your leadership. What do you see when you look at your team?

2. Executive Coaching: Prepare yourself to make the right shifts in approach to lead with effectiveness and drive the results you want to see.

3. Lead with Courage & Conviction: Learn more about our executive leadership experiences that prepare you to leave a legacy worth remembering.

What Do You See? Leading with Curiosity

Check out this picture my 13-year-old son Elliott took Sunday night on the way home from a Kansas City soccer tournament. We were driving X miles per hour through Missouri and he put the phone camera right on the sunroof window. Based on what you see, how would you describe it? On a scale from 1-10 how you rate his ability to capture the moment? If you needed a photographer for your next family photo would you call him?
 
Yes – this picture you are looking at is the picture we are asking you to look at. If you are asking, “Am I missing something?”, the answer is yes. Just wait a minute and I’ll show you.
 
Here’s what I want us to ponder for a moment.
 
In the rush of the day, we often look at projects, progress, and attempts from team members and make assumptions about what we are seeing. Much of the organizational conflict and personnel chaos comes from team members making quick and, oftentimes, wrong assumptions of team members.
 
We often make assumptions instead of asking, “Is there something I’m missing?”. “Could there be more than what I’m seeing?” Many of you reading this have taken the SDI 2.0 and remember that we are all motivated differently and tackle our work with diverse perspectives. This reality impacts what we say, what we hear and what we assume when we stop listening.
 
The sad reality is that there is greatness all around us all the time, but so often we miss it because we only take a quick glance. Here’s my point. Take the time to lean in and ask more questions in a curious way to learn about what you might not be seeing before making a judgement about what you think you see.
 
Final Activity: Save the picture and zoom in. Hit reply or leave a comment about what you see. More importantly – Start slowing down and lead with curiosity to make sure you don’t have greatness around you that you are simply missing.