Valentine's Blunder

Some leaders learn lessons quickly and others take awhile. On the SDI 2.0, stubbornness is one of my top overdone strengths. My wife can attest to this. Maybe my team too!

During our Valentine's date, we were talking with our friends about failed opportunities. There was a time when we believed our wives when they said, "We don't want anything." But they wanted something! I can't tell you how many times I thought that meant I shouldn't actually get a gift! Yes ... you can judge me ... just know after 20 years I have gotten better at having a little intuition and Meg has gotten better at making sure she is not relying on my intuition!

One of my favorite movie scenes in The Breakup with Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston is when she yells, "I just want you to WANT to do the dishes!"

This is one more example of how waiting and hoping for intuition is the worst type of communication!

Here's the deal. The workplace is not much different. If you want your expectations to be met - don't rely on someone's intuition to provide you exactly what you want.

If you want to set up your team members for success - communicate with clarity.

Everyone wants to feel valued, heard and appreciated. When we don't communicate with clarity we fill in the gaps with assumptions of what we think we heard or what we think someone wants. And both parties end up with an element of frustration.

If you are someone like me, you might be able to leverage some helpful tools. I can't tell you how many times I have pulled up the SDI 2.0 compare feature on my wife and team to make sure I'm communicating in a clear and helpful way or to make sure I'm effectively hearing what they say. When I understand where they are coming from it helps me know how to respond.

There are three key elements to make sure you are connecting with your team members.
1) Communicate with clarity to your team members by saying what you mean and meaning what you say.
2) Cultivate community with your team members by valuing and appreciating how they show up.
3) Check-In with your team members on a regular basis so you know how to support, equip and develop them.

What's Next?
If you need a refresher on your SDI 2.0 or you are wanting to improve the culture and communication in your organization, or you just want to have a conversation set up a virtual coffee: https://calendly.com/insightleadership/virtualcoffee

Communication Doesn't Have To Suck

How come communication is consistently ranked low on most organization feedback surveys?

How come leaders who had great relationships with peers struggle to communicate effectively when they advance up the ladder?

How do you find your voice as a leader, support your leaders, and instill a healthy culture across your team and/or organization?

These questions are more and more prevalent in the virtual world. The answers are not highly complex, but it will take intentionality to become a more effective strategic communicator.

Think of it this way: When my home is in chaos, it is usually because of a lack of communication. My wife didn’t remember me saying something or I did not say something clearly. My boys didn’t remember us asking them to wash the dishes or we didn’t communicate it clear enough. (I’m sure you’ve never experienced this…)

There are a few ways to solve this problem.

Picture after good communication …

• Option 1 | Yell and scream and the first one to give in loses, thus proving the most stubborn spouse is the best communicator.

• Option 2 | Go silent and stop verbally communicating creating a house of tension and awkwardness for everyone.

Quite frankly, those are two crappy options that I see see spouses take far too often and sadly I see it in the workplace as well. If you need to work on that click this link. (Love Life At Home)

• Option 3 | Communicate verbally, clarify alignment, write it down, and share the calendar.

When my wife and I share our plans, remind one another of those plans and write those plans down - we love Life at Home (most of the time!). Usually the alignment happens during the follow-up conversation.

We have plenty of things going on, so it’s easy to forget something. Our weekly game plan helps with this.

I hope you are getting the point. Conflict happens when communication doesn’t. Just because you remember saying something, doesn’t mean you have communicated effectively, influentially or strategically.

Your goal is to gain alignment and Buy-In. Your goal is to help every employee feel empowered to do their jobs and to have clarity in what their job is. Things change and so clarity becomes more challenging during change.

• How are you going to provide clarity to your organization?

• How are you going to gain alignment?

• How are you going to lead through constant change and keep a healthy culture?

• The answer rests in effective, clear and consistent communication.

• Here are some tactics. you might try.

Tactic 1: Always share vision, strategy, and celebrations during company wide and leadership meetings.

You will feel like you are beating the drum into the ground. But I promise, once you stop beating the drum, the wrong beat will start to be played. You set the tone, so you must set it consistently.

Tactic 2: Forums with teams across all departments

Share vision and communicate desired culture. Then ask what you can do to help everyone love their Life at Work. Anything you can change - change it quickly . The CEO of Delta Dental did this and two changes made a big impact to their morale. He added Sprite to the soda machine and paper towels to the bathrooms. Sometimes the changes are not hard; they are just not thought of. Listen, respond, and watch the team improve.

Tactic 3: Make Rounds

Spend time walking through the office and talk to your team.

• Ask: “What’s something exciting that you are working on?”

• Ask: “How are your kids doing?”

• Ask: “What’s your new favorite restaurant?”

The key to building relationships is to be authentic and personal. You are the leader, so people can easily think you are unapproachable. This happens in small companies and large companies. Making rounds can break down that stereotype and improve the ability for you to be heard.

Tactic 4: Daily or Weekly Updates

Send out daily or weekly updates with stories of the vision and mission being lived out in the organization across all levels. As Donnie Smith, Former CEO of Tyson says, “What you talk is about is people believe is important.” Your words and your stories will influence the attitudes, behaviors, ethics, (culture) of your organization. Share metrics, updates, reasons for change, etc.. and keep people in the known and aligned.

Problem Most Likely Solved

When you leverage all 4 tactics, you will have a much better shot at actually communicating with clarity in your organization. If you only try one tactic, it’s kind of like only saying something once to your spouse and choosing to believe that’s enough.

If you need help creating the right tactics and messaging for you and your organization, we can help you get to where you need to go. Just shoot an email to Michael@insightlg.com today.

How do you emerge stronger when you are rocked to the core? I mean, really rocked.

There I was, holding on to a rock in the middle of the rapids, rethinking my whole life. I was rocked to the core.  

Let’s start from the beginning of the day.  

We had church on zoom and my friend texted me right after I wrapped up to say, “meet me in 15 min, we are hitting the river.” So, of course, I don’t ask any questions.  As a side, I do ask my wife (she says yes!) and I head out the door.  

There’s 4 of us at the start.  

The first set of rapids were exhilarating. Bigger than normal and the adrenaline was pumping. MAN, I LOVE THE RIVER! Wait...what’s happening?  Where is Clay going? In retrospect, he was the wisest of our group when he bailed at that first rapid due to an equipment issue.   

The three of us ventured back to the river. The event planner yells back at us and says, “there’s a rough spot up here somewhere, I’m not sure where”. We genuinely appreciated the heads up and it had been years since I’ve swam a rapid and I wasn’t about to start now.  But, just in case, I slide my sunglasses into my life vest and navigate forward. Some might say this was my first mistake – a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts. 

We navigate the next section fine … but before I know it, I’m high sided on a rock and swimming. I’m determined to catch up to my kayak which is in arm's length, but the current took it faster than I could blink - deep into the rapids. I’m squarely in the chaos, when the water sweeps me right into a protruding rock. Sticking out of the rapids just enough to hold onto without being swept away.  

There I was holding on to a rock in the middle of the rapids rethinking my whole life.

This is what I mean by being rocked to the core.  

I thought:  

• Screw this, I’m out... 

• I’m done kayaking ...  

• I love my wife … 

• I love my kids …  

• I don’t want to drown …  

• I hope the rock doesn’t budge … 

• Is there anyone who can help … 

A few times I tried to get my footing to walk the 20 feet to the shore, but every time I started to move, the rapids started to sweep me away.  

I had to assess my options: 

1. Am I going to be the guy who gets rescued by the park rangers swift water team? (No) 

2. Am I going to drown swimming the rapids? (maybe, but chances are I won’t die) 

I went with option 2 since our coordinator also happened to be my doctor and I figured he would be able to resuscitate me if worst came to worst. Believe it or not, I was trained to swim the rapids and knew the basics... feet up – head up.  

That was my only option. Feet up - head up.  It became my mantra … I said a prayer and let go of the rock.  

The waves were huge. My feet were hitting the rocks, the river water was flowing into my lungs as I tried desperately to keep my head from slamming into the rocks underneath me. 250 yards later and I was drained – the only thing keeping me afloat was the vest.  250 more yards, wave after wave beating me up like a novice in a UFC fight, when I faintly hear someone yelling to me from the shore, “Swim here, swim here”.  I didn’t have an ounce of energy left and had consumed gallons of river water that was weighing me down even more.  I thought there was no chance, but I rolled over and started, with all my remaining strength, the breaststroke through the current.  The next thing I remember is being on the shore “expelling” all that river water that had made its way into my lungs.  

I was done with the near-death experience… but, it wasn’t over.  I was done … but, I had to kayak another 3 miles. 

It was the first time I didn’t look forward to being on the river. 

Many of us have felt similar feelings during COVID 19. We have been rocked to the core. We’ve felt like we are holding onto the rock in the middle of the rapids and the only option is to let go and pray.  

Well, how do you emerge stronger from that?  

Here’s what I’ve thought about since that May 17, moment on the rock. 

1. I could only do what I was trained to do. Head up – feet up. The training worked. I’m here, but I’m shaken up and not planning my next trip yet. 

2. A guide would have been helpful. A guide would have led me through the rapids and given me a chance to truly enjoy a beautiful day on the river. 

3. Painful moments help us remember what’s most important and we should shift our behavior accordingly. 

How do you emerge stronger when you are rocked to the core? Find the right guide for moving forward. Avoid navigating disruption without a clear map.  

If I would have read a field guide on that section of the river, I would have known what I was getting into and how to get through it.  

That why we’ve created A Leader’s Field Guide for ReEntry. We created a guide to help you navigate through disruption without having to make the choice of being rescued or praying you won’t drown.   

Learn more about the guide here.

Purchase the guide here and receive access to it today. You don’t have to wait.  

Leading: Same Principles. Different Challenges.

We can call it whatever we want.

• Leading change.

• Leading in times of crisis.

• Leading during a pandemic.

• Leading in times of growth.

• Leading great teams.

• Leading dysfunctional teams.

• Leading digital teams.

• Leading collaborative teams.

We’ve been leading teams and developing leaders for a combined 30+ years at Insight Leadership Group and we’ve picked up on a few things leading through and consulting through mergers and acquisitions, mass layoffs, growing teams, etc…

There are some things that change and some that are always consistent in leadership.

The change is less about the skillet and more about the leaders heart. The changes are less about the leaders competency and more about the leaders ability to practice Emotional and Relational Intelligence in any circumstance.

That’s the hard part.

You are a leader and you know how to communicate. Knowing how to communicate effectively when you and your team are in a time of uncertainty is the challenge. It’s more about messaging from the heart and less about a phone call, zoom meeting or email. Your action step is to pull into the eddy and reset leading forward.

You are a leader and know you need to plan. Knowing how to plan effectively when you don’t know what tomorrow holds is the challenge. It’s more about leading towards a vision (Check out our Insight Action Guide) and less about leveraging Excel, Asana, or other project planning tools of your choice.

You are a leader and you know how to help people execute in an effective way. It’s not about clarifying expectations. It's more about inspiring the team to perform when everything is constantly changing at home and at work.

We have laid out three elements that we believe are crucial to being effective leaders in any situation and we are offering free zoom meetings to the first 99 who register for each event.

Step 1: Rest | Get your head and heart in the right place. Rest and pull into the eddy. We are going to offer a free webinar next week to help leaders pull into the eddy in the middle of the chaos. I think we are all in the chaos. Laura and I have been taking a few days to think, pray, and process through how we can provide value to you right now. We hope this helps. We appreciate you all and want to do what we can to support you and your teams in a meaningful way.

Session 1 | Find the Eddy | March 31 | 12:30 p.m.

Step Two: Hustle | We have no doubt you have been hustling since the news came. You are tired. That’s why we Rest first. When we are rested and less anxious we are more ready to communicate and work effectively. We are going to offer a free Zoom meeting after our Rest session with tangible reminders on how to leverage the Strength Deployment Inventory to make sure are communicating effectively with everyone during this time. If you haven’t taken the SDI 2.0 and you need some effective tools to help you leverage your strengths to [Rest. Hustle. Grind] right now, shoot us a message and we can get you set up with the assessment and a debrief coaching session.

Session 2 | Hustle | April 1 | 12:30 p.m.

Step Three: Grind | Often times when we are stressed, we see what is not happening, should be happening, and why it’s not happening…at least from our perspective. The Grind is about taking ownership and remaining agile. Everyone is practicing some form of agility right now in the middle of the uncertainty. We need to take ownership of the sub-cultures that may forming in this new arrangement. Intentionally getting focused on how to help your teams create and/or maintain the culture we want to be known for - now and when we get back to the office - is critical.

Session 3 | Grind | April 3 | 12:30 p.m.

Each session is limited to the first 99 participants. We look forward to seeing you online!

Day 3 | Working With Others While Working From Home Requires Flexibility, Kindness and Clarity.

Text, Slack, Microsoft Teams, Messenger, Zoom … We have so many ways to communicate from a distance. Words, sentences, abbr., emojis, CAPS, poor grammar… We have so many ways to make sure no one understands what we are saying.

Then we have to bring in the reality that we are all wired up differently, have different pressures, experience different challenges, and put it all together to work well with one another. Not just work well with one another, but set a new standard on how to work well with your team while getting great work done.

If you are having challenges or hoping to avoid some, below are a few tips that work when you are working from home as well as in the office. We leverage an amazing tool called Core Strengths 2.0 to help leaders and team communicate more effectively. It makes Emotional Intelligence applicable. Tim Scudder calls it Relationship Intelligence. If you want to make sure your team has the tools necessary to work well from home, give us a call and we can set up a series of Zoom debriefs to keep you on the right track to love life at work and life at home - even while you are working from there.

Here are three key practices we all need to implement while working from home:

Be Flexible | We have our way of working, communicating, and making decisions and everyone else has theirs. When you are working alone - obviously - work your way. When you need something from someone else - be flexible and help them work their way. If they are working their way - they will be leading from their strengths and I promise that produces better results.

Be Kind | We all have anxiety and stress. We are helping our kids with school at home. We are potty training kids. We are helping family members keep their hours by watching their kids. We are helping our clients. We are finding new rhythms to getting our work done. Here’s how we think about being kind at Insight Leadership. Lead with selfless ambition and value others. Get your work done and execute well. Don’t make it all about you when you when in reality, it’s not. While you execute, no matter the challenges, we should never feel the need to devalue others when we feel stressed or anxious. Be kind with your words. If you are misunderstood, apologize and work on improving your communication. This is where the Core Strengths tool makes a huge impact. For years I was misunderstood. That’s a nice way to put it. Other people would use 4 letter word descriptions about my behavior when I felt like I was in my “zone”… Now I know, and I can get work done and be kind all at the same time. I tell you what, if I can figure it out, you can too.

Be Clear | Clarity of expectations are crucial for success in any environment. Be clear about your expectations, clear about feedback, clear about what you can and can not do. Practice communicating in a way that others understand, not just in a way that you understand. If you continually feel misunderstood, give us a call and we will give you the tools be clear, kind and flexible so you can love working and love life after work.

Take a step back, and breathe. Take a look in the mirror and remind yourself that you are a great leader who is facing trying times. Center yourself in the core belief that you can lead with flexibility, kindness and clarity while bringing out the best in your teams by understanding and leveraging their unique strengths.