Insight Leadership

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Priorities Don't Equal Stress: Managing Pens, Priorities and Stress

This morning, I woke up with a flood of energy, exhaustion, and a slight feeling of being overwhelmed after an awesome weekend of soccer in KC with no time for email.

The first task of the day was signing checks for the government, and the second task was endorsing a check my son was going to drop at the bank. Yes, even now, checks are still used! In-between task 1 and task 2, my favorite pen went missing. My heart was broken, and my mind was blown. 

My week is planned, and priorities are set, but knocking everything out is going to take some early mornings and later nights than normal. The schedule is set, but important emails and long meetings interrupt the flow. 

When leaders get overwhelmed, anxious, frustrated, and fearful, we typically go into a state of conflict. On the SDI 2.0, we would say it’s conflict stage 1. We can also see our overdone strengths start to surface. (Side note: if you are stressed and getting overwhelmed let’s set up a few SDI 2.0 coaching sessions with Ryan. When stress surfaces our execution and communication usually diminishes. 

  • How do we stay focused when priorities are not aligned with our calendar? 

  • How do we stay focused when “fires” get in the way of our priorities?

  • How do we stay on mission when stress consumes our mindset?

When I get overwhelmed, my head turns to fog, and it takes intentional effort to lean in and focus on the task at hand. To get focused I have four routes: 

  1. Do push-ups.

  2. Have a non-work conversation to reset and relax.

  3. Remember why the work is important and get focused. 

  4. Accomplish something. 

If we don’t reset and focus, then the day gets out of hand … our emotions interfere and our productivity goes out the window. The end result = more stress … because we didn’t get our work done or solve the problems that need solving. 

There is a false idea out there that priorities equal success. Priorities are helpful for sure, but even when you know when and where to focus, the day can get out of hand and stress can take over. 

Priorities are paramount to knowing where to focus. Stress will destroy focus in a moment. 

While I was rushing to soccer practice this afternoon, I found something that was missing all day. Hidden in the pocket of my favorite green pants was my favorite blue pen. It was with me the whole time, but I was going too fast to check. It's crazy how easy it is for me to forget about the simplest of things when rushing in-between meetings. 

It makes me wonder how many times we don’t realize we have everything we need to succeed, but our stress keeps us from tapping into it. 

Think about an elite athlete who struggles for a week. They didn’t’ forget how to shoot, they let life get in the way of the having the right mindset when they shoot. It’s not about skill or will – it’s about health. It’s not about priorities – it’s about managing stress.

So, what’s the point of this? 

If you are a leader struggling to stay focused because of the large workload … 
If you are a leader waking up feeling anxious even though all is good … 
If you are a leader feeling like you can’t ever get across the finish line … 


… then you are a leader who could benefit from making sure you have your priorities set. 


I’m not talking about what time you check email or work on your most difficult project. I’m talking about a 30,000-foot view of what’s important in your life.

Here are the top 3 questions to help set priorities.

  • Am I loving life at home? 

  • Am I loving life at work? 

  • Am I living a healthy life? 

When these three things are going well, our mental and emotional health typically follow suit. When these things are in order, the interruptions, stress, and busy schedule don’t steal the best parts of us. We don’t lose ourselves in pursuit of accomplishing our business goals. Our priorities in life help us stay focused on the priorities we have at work. 

The right priorities however can help us push through the challenges of life and stay healthy and successful on the other side. 

What are your thoughts?