Why You Should Leave Your Laptop: Finding Healthy Rhythms and Rest

It’s embarrassing to share. Meg and I went to Hawaii to celebrate our 20th anniversary. We hung out for a little over a week on the beach. The most stressful part of packing was weighing whether I should bring my laptop or not. Should I capitalize airport time, flight time and down time at the beach to stay on top of things and keep prepping for a busy fall? I can spin it many ways, but the question was really: Should I work on my anniversary trip because I’m afraid of what will happen if I don’t? Can the world survive a week of me fully checking out? How ridiculous is that? Meg and I are about to take our dream anniversary trip and I’m worried about whether I should work or not work!!
 
Have you ever been there? You've been prepping for a family trip and part of your prep is how to keep working while still resting and focusing on your family? Do we really wonder why mental illness, stress, exhaustion, anxiety, depression, and isolation our plaguing our workplaces, homes and communities? 
 
Do we wonder why it’s such a challenge to move up in our careers and increase work capacity while continuing to fall more in love with our spouses and invest in our children?

Here’s how ridiculous I can be:

• Should I wake up, drink amazing Kona Coffee with my bride while listening to the ocean ... or ... check my email and keep prepping for an upcoming strategy session?

• Should I snorkel, surf, and enjoy the rest ... or ... work on clarifying our next Distilled experience?

• Should I focus on where to eat with my wife of 20 years ... or ... hone my calendar for October?

Thankfully, commonsense and courage kicked in the night before we flew out and I left the computer. Somehow, we survived. We survived because I have an awesome team and amazing clients.
 
What’s the point of this post?

Leaders – we will not be healthy leaders without healthy rhythms and rest. Here are a few examples of healthy rhythms.

• Check Out: Actually invest in your family on weekend trips, vacations and family dinners. Fight the urge to justify working all hours all the time.

• Exercise: Break a sweat and exercise a few times a week to keep your body working the way it’s made to work.

• Game Plan: Walk through the weekly schedule with your significant other and kids to help mitigate unneeded stress in the week. Find ways to support one another, where you need more support and how to manage a busy week without letting the busyness ruin your week. Plan a family dinner, plan a mini-date, and plan on investing in your children.

We are back from vacation and our life is back in full swing once again, just like yours. Meg is in her final semester of grad school. Titus is in his senior year. Elliott is in his freshman year. Ezra is a 5th grader. Alice is a first grader.
 
Right now, I'm balancing: four sports teams, music lessons and a lot of different schools for the kids. I’m traveling for work. I'm attending weekend soccer trips. I'm investing in my kids' faith and trying to fully maximize a big year for our family. Healthy rhythms are key to staying healthy. They are key to staying rooted in purpose and making an impact that leaves a legacy we want to remember.
 
Reach out if you need help loving life at work and loving life at home.
 

(Note: We didn’t make it to Maui, but our hearts are breaking over the destruction. Find ways to help if you can).

Three intentional steps either to find better rhythms and incorporate appropriate rest in your leadership: [ryan@insightlg.com]:

1. Virtual Coffee: Let's chat about your leadership. What do you see when you look at your team?

2. Executive Coaching: Prepare yourself to make the right shifts in approach to lead with effectiveness and drive the results you want to see.

3. Lead with Courage & Conviction: Learn more about our executive leadership experiences that prepare you to leave a legacy worth remembering.

Giving Up Your "Bike": Knowing When It's Right to Move Out of the Way

Have you ever recognized that moment when the one you are training up is now ready to pass you up? The proper leadership advice is to celebrate the success of the next generation and gladly move out of the way. I’m not sure about you, but the pride in me sometimes drives me to want to push harder, which means that I can stay in the way.

Titus, my 17-year-old, and I were mountain biking at Centennial the other day. It’s my first time back on a bike since a knee injury in March. Titus rode behind me not because he was slower, but because he was watching out for me! A couple of years ago, I was riding slower to watch out for him and to teach him how to ride.  Now the roles have swapped. A few times on the trail, I found myself trying harder and going faster at attempting to keep the pace, but the attempts were short lived due to my limited lung capacity and choosing humility over a hospital visit! The whole time he knew he could ride in front, but he choose to stay behind.

The question for me became: How long will I hold him back?

During that ride it became clear that this was a perfect picture of the joys and pains of succession planning. Leaders are always expected to be developing their replacement so they can take on new roles. That means you are working yourself out of a job so you can take on a new one.

When leaders don’t develop a replacement:

*            They get stuck in a rut.

*            They lose leadership capacity and organizational influence.

*            They lose their emerging leaders to competitors.

When leaders develop a replacement:

*            They continually take on new challenges.

*            They gain leadership capacity and a voice in the organization.

*            They build up high performing leaders.

Quite frankly – those 6 bullets (above) aren’t anything new to most of you. What we don’t talk about very often is the challenge of “getting out of the way”. What we’re talking about is the recognition that our self-worth and value is not wrapped up in what we have done or where we are going. The tasks we have successfully completed are not the sum of our identity. They are simply work that we are good at and love to do. Because our self-worth is not wrapped up in our work, we can build up others at work without fear of losing our self-worth and value.

You might be trying to barrel down the trail right now while holding on to aspects of your job that deep down you know belong to the emerging leader who’s waiting for you to pass the baton of the task, project, or role on to them. You are taking on too much and limiting the development of your team. They will only stay behind you for so long.

This is when you must dig deep and have the courage to make the change. Swallow your pride and do for them what you want someone else to do for you. Leave a legacy worth remembering by improving the life of your team members. Don’t be like the rider making everyone slow down simply because you want to stay in front. Moving out of the way doesn’t make you less valuable or less worthy. Moving out of the way means you’ve done something right, and you will find new ways to bring value to the team.

You might be in a place right now where you have made the handoff and you are watching your successor succeed. Now you are working hard to learn what it means to lead the organization and not a department, or lead a department instead of team, or lead a team instead of project. Lean in and make the shift. Study, seek mentors, call us to coach you, or do whatever you need to do to succeed in your new stage of life and work. Don’t look back on what used to be; look forward to what CAN BE.

You might be in a place like my son, Titus, when we were on the bike trail. You know you can move faster, smoother and better, but you keep watch out of respect and empathy. Be patient, ask the right questions, and seek feedback. When the opportunity to move up presents itself, then take it. Don’t lead with false humility and sink back saying you aren’t ready. Say you are ready and then rock-n-roll.

For leaders, leadership is about building others up. Leadership is not about holding on to power and responsibility for dear life. Leadership isn’t “white-knuckling”.

My son and I made it to the top of hill. I was allowing oxygen to enter my body when we heard a large “POP”. The bike tire on my son’s bike exploded. He was ready for 7 more miles, and I was cooked. That’s when we traded bikes, and I sent him on the next leg of the ride. There was no reason to hold him back. The leader’s role is to provide resources to help team members succeed. Sometimes that might mean giving away what’s been yours.

*            What challenges have you felt while waiting to step into a new role?

*            What challenges have you faced while preparing someone to take on your role?

*            What joys have you experienced while helping leaders develop and take the next step in their careers?

Despair Is Not A Winning Strategy

It was the perfect ending to great work week. We arrived at the small airport early to focus on a couple of important calls and I was feeling on top of the world. The client I was traveling with had pretty good “status” and we went from economy to first class. Then it happened. “Delayed Flight”. We had a good window of time with our connection, so it wasn’t too stressful yet, but the goal was to get home!
 

We made a tough choice between the two restaurants at the airport and while we ordered beverages and nachos we got the notice on our American Airlines app – flight canceled. They were promising to get us home the next night, but our goal was to get home sooner. I had an important session with United Bank in the morning and my client had a golf tournament. We had to get home.
 

Have you been there? Everything is going great and then all of a sudden, it’s not. You have no control over what is happening, but you do have control over how you navigate the situation.
 
Many in the airport were on the phone complaining. The Canadian wildfire smoke was impacting the flights. Circumstances shifted and so did their hope. This reminds us that despair is not a winning strategy. The definition of despair is misery, discouragement, anguish, agony and distress. It leads to uncertainty and hopelessness.
 
We can let others control our situation (and out attitude), or take the bull by the horns and figure it out. Despair is not a winning strategy. About 3 hours from when I typed this, my family and I were in Grand Teton National Park. The six of us were making our way on 2.87 mile hike (hard core) and then my wife I heard a noise. It made the hair stick up on my neck and that’s plenty of hair! A grizzly bear was in the area. Listen – I want to see a bear, but I want to see it from my car. I don’t trust the bear spray to take care of my family even though I was carrying it. Here’s the deal – despair would get me no where. When circumstances outside of our control impact our world, we have to be ready to adapt and overcome.
 
Back to the airport. We weren’t there long. Within 27 minutes we had a rental car and my flight was booked from Philly to Dallas and Dallas to XNA. We navigated our not-so-ideal situation with hope, not despair!
 
Despair is NOT a winning strategy. When life changes take a breath, and think about how to accomplish your goal instead of thinking about what you can’t influence or control.
 
So what happened with the bear? After we wrestled the grizzly, our phone batteries died so we couldn’t take a picture.



Three intentional steps to develop your winning leadership strategy [learn more: ryan@insightlg.com]:

1. Virtual Coffee: Let's chat about your leadership. What do you see when you look at your team?

2. Executive Coaching: Prepare yourself to make the right shifts in approach to lead with effectiveness and drive the results you want to see.

3. Lead with Courage & Conviction: Learn more about our executive leadership experiences that prepare you to leave a legacy worth remembering.

Maximize Your Margin: Does maximizing opportunity minimize impact?

When I was kid I loved to maximize every opportunity. By “opportunity” I mean, when my parents would let me pour my own Dr. Pepper. My goal was to pour it right to the brink of spilling. One bump on the cabinet would cause a spill, but, if the environment stayed absolutely perfect, I could pour it to where it looked like the DP was actually above the edge of the glass. Thus, I maximized the opportunity to enjoy a good beverage. 

Last Thursday, I was making the perfect French press coffee and I found myself doing the same thing. I wanted to maximize the coffee and when you pour too much water into the French press, two things can happen:
1)    You can water down what could be great
2)    You can quickly spill when completing the “press” 

That’s when it hit me. I still have some growth to do … It’s natural for me to try and maximize the hours in a day with coaching appointments, facilitations and business development meetings. I love meeting and helping the leader we serve and have a hard time not accepting the meeting even when I’m starting to fill every slot on my calendar. I want to maximize the opportunity to help everyone. 

But then it happens ... With no margin in the glass the coffee will spill. With no margin in my calendar something will lose quality or “spill”. 

In my world that looks like:

• trying to do email or wrap-up team calls instead of coaching soccer practice. 

• staying up late to work after dinner and not spending that quality time with family and not resting to reset

• losing sight of what’s most important because I’m so focused on what’s right in front

The inevitable outcome of never leaving margin and trying to maximize every opportunity is that instead of maximizing every opportunity, we miss the most important aspects of our leadership role and life. This leads to stress, burnout, exhaustion and mistakes. 

With no margin we have no strategic thinking.
With no margin we have no time to coach our team.
With no margin we force others to sacrifice because we don’t have time.

While it’s fun to see how much we can pour into a glass ... and while it’s fun to maximize profit and opportunity in a week ... It’s never fun to water down great coffee and spill a sip. 

Take a look at your calendar and see if there are some areas of margin? If there is no margin work diligently to find it. 

Here are three tips:

1. Move meetings to 30-45 minute instead of 60 and start gaining 15 minutes extra every hour.

2. Look at your meeting list and empower others to go to meetings you don’t need to be in.

3. Look at your task list and determine what you need to let go of so you can focus on what you need to focus on.

Bonus Tip: Set up a coaching session to truly take your leadership to the next level. 

The Kansas Gas Shower: Reconnecting With What Fuels You

We made it into Kansas and quickly pulled into a Valero gas station and started the normal routine. You know the drill:

• Swipe the card

• Select the gas type

• Pump gas into the car

As we did the normal routine something unique happened. A shower of gas began spewing from the top of the pump area. It was 5:45 am, so it took me a moment to process what I was seeing and smelling. This was my first gas shower.
 
It’s interesting really. Gallons of gasoline were flowing by my car but doing nothing to help my car be ready for the next leg of the journey.
 

Have you ever felt that way? All of the resources are right around you, but you are disconnected. Therefore, they are doing nothing for you.
 
Sometimes we can have all the resources nearby, but for some reason we can’t seem to tap into them. There’s a disconnect. This disconnect might be because of your mistakes. The disconnect might be because of the mistakes of others. The disconnect might be because your routine is no longer working. Either way – the disconnect is hindering your ability to tap into the resources you need.
 

So what do you do to reconnect?
 
Back to the Valero gas station: I quickly ran into the gas station and the only way they could shut off the gas shower was by shutting down all the pumps. The only way they could fix the problem was by shutting down to reset.
 
Sometimes, the smartest thing we can do when we feel disconnected is to shut down the problem for a moment and reset. Here’s the thing: if you can’t shut down the gas shower, you can’t reconnect the pump. If you can’t reconnect the pump, you can’t refuel the car.
 
We never want to slow down because we say we don’t have time. But, if we don’t slow down, we can’t reconnect and gain access to the resources we need around us.
 
Send a note or make a comment and let us know how you are you going to slow down for a moment so you can reconnect with what fuels you. Just a thought: maybe your fuel is your purpose …


Three intentional steps to slow down so you can reconnect with what fuels you and fire up your leadership [learn more: ryan@insightlg.com]:

1. Virtual Coffee: Let's chat about your leadership. What do you see when you look at your team?

2. Executive Coaching: Prepare yourself to make the right shifts in approach to lead with effectiveness and drive the results you want to see.

3. Lead with Courage & Conviction: Learn more about our executive leadership experiences that prepare you to leave a legacy worth remembering.

What Do You See? Leading with Curiosity

Check out this picture my 13-year-old son Elliott took Sunday night on the way home from a Kansas City soccer tournament. We were driving X miles per hour through Missouri and he put the phone camera right on the sunroof window. Based on what you see, how would you describe it? On a scale from 1-10 how you rate his ability to capture the moment? If you needed a photographer for your next family photo would you call him?
 
Yes – this picture you are looking at is the picture we are asking you to look at. If you are asking, “Am I missing something?”, the answer is yes. Just wait a minute and I’ll show you.
 
Here’s what I want us to ponder for a moment.
 
In the rush of the day, we often look at projects, progress, and attempts from team members and make assumptions about what we are seeing. Much of the organizational conflict and personnel chaos comes from team members making quick and, oftentimes, wrong assumptions of team members.
 
We often make assumptions instead of asking, “Is there something I’m missing?”. “Could there be more than what I’m seeing?” Many of you reading this have taken the SDI 2.0 and remember that we are all motivated differently and tackle our work with diverse perspectives. This reality impacts what we say, what we hear and what we assume when we stop listening.
 
The sad reality is that there is greatness all around us all the time, but so often we miss it because we only take a quick glance. Here’s my point. Take the time to lean in and ask more questions in a curious way to learn about what you might not be seeing before making a judgement about what you think you see.
 
Final Activity: Save the picture and zoom in. Hit reply or leave a comment about what you see. More importantly – Start slowing down and lead with curiosity to make sure you don’t have greatness around you that you are simply missing. 

In the Eye of the Storm

Everything Can Change in a Moment

There we were. Crowded in a stairwell watching live footage of the tornado touching down just up the street. Leaders were texting family, calling kids, checking on team members, and checking on one another. Nervous laughter, tears, and compassionate words echoed through the stairwell. 
 
It’s unreal how everything can change in a moment.

• During spring break, a few blocks from our hotel, we heard the sirens of the police racing towards the Denver High School in response to a shooting.

• In Nashville, family friends from MO lost their daughter in the school shooting.

• On Friday, tornados reigned down destruction and heartache to communities.

• Jobs can be lost.

• Key clients and can move on.

• Loved ones can hurt loved ones.

Everything important can change in a moment.
 
Last Friday was filled with distraction while I attempted to facilitate a session on Navigating Organizational and Personal Conflict. Schools were closing early, businesses were sending team members home and there we were watching the storm roll in from the 5th floor.
 
When in the stairwell no one wanted to talk about leading with Emotional Intelligence or developing Relationship Intelligence to be more effective leaders during challenge, conflict and crisis. In the stairwell priorities shifted. What was worthy of our time was no longer important at that time.
 
During crisis our priorities shift. We think about what’s most important and for most people – we aren’t thinking about our personal success at work. We think about our family, friends, and team members and check to make sure they are okay.
 
Our priorities shift. During times of crisis, we reach out to offer support, a lending hand, prayer, meals, clean-up, and/or an ear. During crisis, we come together in incredible ways to provide hope for humanity in the middle of tragedy.
 
Why does chaos cultivate a culture community even at work? This is a question that I’ve been processing for a few years and last Friday I had a front row seat.
 
During crisis, our priorities get a “forced” reset. When we perceive something as extremely important, we change our priorities to address it. Isn’t it amazing how resistant to change we can be and yet how quickly we can adjust and change when we choose?
 
Here’s what I’m thinking.
 
Let’s do a gut check on our priorities.

• Do you feel exhausted on a regular basis?

• Prioritize sleep, eat healthier food and exercise

• Do you feel overwhelmed like you can you never catch-up?

• Start prioritizing work and actually delegate.

• Do you feel shame for not spending enough time with your family?

• Schedule some dates and family dinners

• Do you feel regret for not investing enough time to develop your direct reports?

• Prioritize time for effective one on ones.

• Do you keep wondering when fitness will become a priority?

• Start taking the stairs at work and walking 10k steps a day

When that storm was rolling in, we could see it coming. We had time to adjust our approach. Right now, you are aware enough to know if some priorities are out of focus. You can feel the storm brewing. Take the time before the crisis to reset your priorities so you can love life at work and love life at home. If you need to set a coaching session to work through focusing on what’s most important, don’t wait for something to boil over. Let’s find focus now.

Let's chat! (click)

Climb Better, Part 3: Who to Follow

There’s a statement made about the loudest talkers and decisive decision makers ... they remember names and can make people feel welcome. People call them “natural leaders” because they have charisma. However, is that a reason to follow someone? 

Followership is an interesting concept. Inevitably all leaders follow and all leaders lead. How do you know what voices to listen to? How do you know who to let influence your thinking? How do you know when to follow and when to lead?

It’s wise to follow a leader whose character has kept up with their responsibility and capability. This type of leader can be driven to take action, driven to create process, driven to help others or maybe driven with a unique blend of all ... people, performance and process. All types of leaders can have character with responsibility and capability. 

Every leader follows someone, in some capacity. When is the last time you read a leadership book and started to implement a practice or share the learning with your team? When is the last time you listened to a podcast and took action or thought deeply? When is the last time you shared a challenge with a peer and took their advice? Every leader follows someone in some way. How do you choose who to follow?

Every positional leader has to put themselves in a position to follow a team member at some point in time. If you want to rest, grow, and develop, you have to follow. 

Here are a few questions I think are important to ask when choosing to follow. Just remember, others are asking similar questions to decide whether or not they should follow us. 

• Is the leader’s character up to par? 

• Is the leader’s competency at the level of their responsibility? 

• Is the leader willing to listen and ask for help from others?

• Has the leader shown the capacity to accomplish the goals?

• Does the leader know where they are going and how to get there? 

Keep a look out for the next newsletter when we share two key reasons to follow. 

Climb Better, Part 2: Pursuing a Better Path to Success

Welcome to the second installment of Climb Better--the challenge to make sure we remember the difference between what we achieve and what we deem success. If you missed the last article, you can view Climb Better, Part 1 here.
 
The former NFL player, Shannon Sharpe, recently shared that after all the success, the awards, even the Hall of Fame, he now realizes it would be more rewarding if he had a spouse to share it with. He talked about the one-track mind to succeed on the field that drove him to not ever prioritize family. After all his achievement, he is seeing the difference between achievement and success and wishing he had found a way to have both.
 
We all have choices we make every day. The pressure to achieve, to perform, to help, to make a living, to grow the business, to serve the client is real. Our hope at Insight Leadership Group is that we all learn to kick butt and take names at work while also finding success in life. We want everyone to look back on life all the while proud of what they achieved and people they impacted along the way. We want you to leave a legacy you and your family are proud of. 

So how do we achieve and succeed? I think we have to choose what mountain we want to summit? Why do some climbers choose to summit Mt. Everest, Mt. Kilimanjaro or K2? Each climb has a different set of challenges and a different story at the end. Climbers look at what they want to accomplish and choose a summit that aligns.
 
How do you choose the summit you want to climb at this season in your life? Here are four filters I use for choosing the next summit.

• Does this venture/choice/program benefit my organization/team?

• Does this decision honor and benefit my spouse now or am I asking for them sacrifice for a while?

• Does this decision impact my ability to be actively involved with my kids or just provide $$ for them?

• Does this decision align with my values and personal purpose or is it just a good business decision?

When choosing the summit you want to climb, it is important to make sure that when you reach the peak you can celebrate and be truly happy you made it. We cannot foresee the future, but when answering the questions that are important, we encourage you to have the courage to trust your gut. Then go all-in. We don’t know what mountain you are climbing. Our role at Insight is not to tell you which mountain to climb. Our role is to help you love life at work and love life at home no matter which mountain you choose.
 
Some leaders need help aligning their teams. Some leaders need executive coaching to navigate the next season. Some leaders need help developing their managers so they are equipped to lead. Whatever the next summit is we are here to help you navigate.

Let's chat! (click)
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Three open enrollment purposeful programs coming up to help leaders “climb better” are available to you [learn more: ryan@insightlg.com]:

1. Distilled: The focus is on rest and personal purpose. Let’s make sure the mountain peak you are pursuing is the right one and you are blazing the right trail.

2. Courageous Managers Cohort: The focus is on mastering the vital skills of management needed to climb with confidence and impact.

3. Arkansas Business Executive Leadership Academy: The focus is on building your leadership on solid foundation with the necessary skills, tools and mindsets needed in executive leadership.

Climb Better: Pursuing a Better Path to Success

The sun was shining. Backpacks were packed. Water bottles filled. The map we didn’t know how to read looked good. Compass for Instagram photos before Instagram was the thing.
 
You get the picture. We saw the mountain peak. We packed what we thought we needed and set off for a climb we weren’t ready for.
 
Sound familiar? If you are reading this email at some point in your life you set a goal you wanted to achieve and got after it.
 
As we climbed up the mountain trailblazing our own path, my dad and I might have questioned our own discernment a time or two! The only spot flat enough to pitch our tent had a few remnants of bears left behind and a clear bear path to the water. Safety first was not our motto!
 
During your climb to achieve, there might have a been a few circumstances you’ve navigated. Looking back, you think to yourself that there might have been a been a wiser path.
 
We’ve all had those moments:

• What if I would have prepped for that meeting a bit more thoroughly?

• What if I would have held my tongue when my idea was challenged?

• What if I would have executed instead of getting caught up in what I couldn’t control?

• What if I would have considered the options and slowed down to hear opinions?

We’ve all have those moments when looking back would have helped us climb better. I think about the impact this can have at home as well.

• What if I would have been as patient with my kids as I was with my team member?

• What if I would have been as helpful with my spouse as I was with my boss?

• What if I would have been as ambitious with the important home projects as I was with my goals at work?

• What if I would have slowed down to hear from my family before locking in plans that impact them?

We could have done better. We can’t change the past and we sure shouldn’t be letting it hang over us.  What we can do, is try our best to make sure we don’t repeat it.
 
The next few articles will focus on the idea of “climb better”. On our pursuit of success let’s not forget that our fulfillment and legacy is built on how we serve more than what we achieve.
 
Shoot us a note and let us know what lessons you’ve learned over the years and what would have been helpful to you in your leadership journey.
 
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Living On Purpose With Purpose: Learning to Play the "Music" Inside Each of Us

We are in it now. 2023 is off to the races. Goals are made, strategies are clarified, and action steps are in motion. During this year you want to make sure you grow, you achieve, you kick butt and take names! We all want more than goal boxes checked when December rolls around. Whether you know it or not – you want to lead on purpose and with purpose. If you take the time to find your purpose and intentionally lead with purpose everyday – a successful year is inevitable.
 
A few days ago I had the opportunity to spend time helping leaders uncover, clarify and learn how to lead with their unique purpose. It was a privilege. The organization did not do that exercise with their leaders simply to be nice and have a good time, though. When leaders align their personal values and purpose with the organizations, amazing results happen.
 
It’s interesting. Psychology Today examined 35 different strengths and came to a profound conclusion.

• Purpose contributes to a leader’s well-being more than any other attribute

• Purpose was the only attribute associated with healthy functioning after adversity

• Doctors found a connection between having purpose and being less prone to disease.

• Psychologist found a connection between purpose and greater well being

• Executives found a connection between purpose and navigating a constantly complex changing landscape without obvious right and wrong strategic decisions.

Purpose comes out of you. It’s part of you. It fuels you and drives you. Purpose is specific and meaningful. It gets you out of bed when you are tired. It propels you when you are overwhelmed and anxious. Purpose is what keeps you from burnout. Purpose is what leads you to leave a legacy worth remembering while being a leader worth following.
 
Purpose is not simply a statement. It’s not plaque. It’s not trivial exercise. It’s a reminder as to who you are and why you do what you do, in the way you do, every day.
 
My son Ezra is 9. He’s filled with funny one liners, good dance moves in the kitchen, FIFA facts and more random fun. He’s super quiet at school and no one knows this side of him outside the home. I said, "Ezra – this year I’m praying for you to have the courage and conviction to be you at school. Don’t be afraid to make jokes, bust a dance move, and have fun. Be you. Don’t worry about what others think." He said, "... but only the appropriate jokes, right dad?" – "Yes son." Oliver Wendell Holmes (former associate justice of the Supreme Court) said: "Most of us go to our graves with our music still inside us, unplayed." The last thing I want for my son is to live another day with music still inside of him.
 
The last thing you need is to go another year without you being you. The last thing you need is to go another year without leading with clear purpose. We believe in this so much, we are going to focus on helping leaders craft their purpose and personal vision frames for their lives at Distilled. Distilled is our executive leadership experience in Louisville that weaves leadership training and the bourbon trail together. This leadership experience has a limited number of participants. They come from any industry, so you can learn from high-level leaders outside of your normal sphere of influence. [Click Here to learn more.]
 
It breaks my heart to see my kids holding back, however, you and I both know leading with courage and conviction is a constant challenge. Our kids struggle with it and so do we. I love this quote from Howard Thurman, “Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
 
Give us a call or set a time to chat and lets make sure 2023 is the year you come alive and help everyone you lead do the same!

The Game Changer

Using One on Ones to Leverage Your Team and Transform Your Leadership

Something special happens when we give the people who are important in our lives our undivided attention. Wednesday afternoon, I had to make one last Christmas gift run. I took Alice, our 5 year little girl. As soon as we headed towards the stores, she had a glimmer in her eye and asked if we could go to a coffee shop after shopping to warm up with a vanilla steamer and snack. She was helpful in the stores, and we had a great time warming up in the coffee shop.
 
The difference between this encounter and many of the other Brown family adventures was the undivided attention and the focused conversation. Too many leaders confuse the purpose of the one on one with leaving you and said team member wondering if it’s truly a value add.
 
The confusion is usually because the manager is busy and does more talking than listening. It’s more like a task management session rather than a strategic, relationship building meeting. Then, there are leaders who never get to the task because they spend the whole time talking about the last fishing trip and little Susie’s trip to the dentist. All of these conversations are important, but not all of these conversations lead to an engaged team member feeling supported, valued and appreciated.
 
Here's a brief reminder for you to leverage in the new year.
 
Undivided Attention

You want every team member to feel heard, valued, appreciated, supported, believed in, and developed. We can almost guarantee that if team members are leaving for lateral moves, then one of these elements is missing.

Close your computer and put your phone out of sight--or at least turn Outlook off and only take notes. Nothing says, I value your time like looking at every message on your phone and email popping in. Make sure the team member knows your expectations before meeting, so they have a shot at meeting them!
 
Focused Conversation

Be ready to ask key questions to support your team member during your daily check-ins. Your job as a manger is to coach your team member to success, and it’s tough to coach if there’s no conversation. Your job is to set priorities, remove barriers and prep a team member for success. Four times a year, we recommend straying from the framework to focus on career and personal development goals.
 
Question 1: What are your top priorities at work right now?

Question 2:  How is the team or organization helping you accomplish your goals?

Question 3: What strengths are you leveraging or what overdone strengths might be getting in your way?

Question 4: Is there anything in the way of you accomplishing the goal? A process, resource, team member, vendor, etc…?

Question 5: Do you have feedback for me on how I can better support you?

Question 6: Is there anything else we need to talk about?
 
These questions provide a focused conversation that puts you in the coaches corner and provides the opportunity for your team member to let you know what they need from you in order to succeed.
 
We hope this helps you continue to engage and develop your team in the new year!
 
Happy Holidays and be sure to give the most important people in your life what they will remember the most. Your undivided attention and focused conversation.

The Christmas Gift that Matters: Investing in Healthy Relationships

We have got to ask: What is it that your team members want, but are not going to ask you for? Yes, we know everyone wants a raise, a promotion, and to lease a workspace on company $$ with a mountain or ocean view. They may want those things, but we all know those things don’t make long term happy employees. Just like a new car, a new ring, and new vacation spot don't make for a happy family. 

So what is the gift that actually matters? 

Let’s get this out of the way. Yes, socks matter and are great gifts! Every year, families far and wide make jokes about those useful and helpful gifts that should be remembered all year ... good socks and underwear. Last year, I was ready to load up on smart wool socks to help keep me warm during those winter Zoom meetings in the office shed (The Reserve). Low and behold my family came through to keep my feet toasty!

Cozy socks may make a great Christmas gift for your team, but what about...

Intentional, Consistent, Uninterrupted Time. 

Do you know what makes the difference between teams with higher retention, improved employee engagement scores and increased productivity? The number one difference maker is effective one-on-one’s. Yes, company parties and vacations are great. But they are not the difference maker. 

There are salesmen pulling in record breaking years and going to Cozumel who are looking for new jobs because they don’t respect their leadership. 

You can’t buy your way to healthy relationships. You must invest. 

How do you invest? 

• Set regular one-on-ones with your team members. Cadence and sequence should vary by role, tenure, and the ability for impromptu conversations throughout the week. 

• Set clear expectations and learn how to communicate those expectations by speaking in the language of your team members through the Core Strengths App. 

• Speak 19.2% of the time and listen the rest. 

Our next newsletter will provide a tool for how to effectively conduct a game changing one-on-one. The first step is for you to wrap the present--commit to giving the gift of time to your team members. 

Say something like, “This next year I’m committed to investing in you and making sure you have what you need to succeed. Let’s align calendars for January for regular one-on-ones geared for your growth and success." 

Then be sure to follow-through! 

Chick-fil-A Cows Petition for Beef to be Thanksgiving Turkey Substitute

Bring Relationship Intelligence to Thanksgiving

The CFA cows recently spoke out about their frustrations with turkey as a beef substitute outside Thanksgiving. As one cow stated, “Turkey needs to stay in their lane. We don’t need turkey bacon, turkey burgers, turkey spaghetti. Enough already!” The cows went on to explain their concerns with turkey taking over the dinner table outside of Thanksgiving. 

While normally a champion of beef substitutes like chicken, the CFA cows cited a recent fallout with their Angus, Hereford and Kobe families, that has changed their tune about eating beef. A representative from the Angus family stated, “Those CFA cows are actually dairy cows. Nobody’s gonna eat those scrawny things. I’m tired of them representing the beef community. Stop speaking for all of us!”

A beef between beef. Go figure. At Insight, our mission is to help leaders love life at work and love life at home. While we recognize that there is no substitute for spending time with family at Thanksgiving, we also acknowledge that we’d like to substitute the tension at family gatherings. 

Past experiences with certain family members, either good experiences or bad ones, create expectations for the next time you gather with those specific loved ones. If your past experiences were bad, the stage is set for potential tension and conflict. Perhaps you sense it with that worrisome feeling you have in the pit of your stomach as you approach the door, casserole in hand. 

If you anticipate a negative or tense experience this Thanksgiving, would you be willing to dig deeper into that relationship? Seek to understand how they are wired up, what motivates or drives them. Evaluate your own MVS (Motivational Value System - if you’ve taken the SDI 2.0) in comparison to your family member(s). Might this be an opportunity to recast that past experience with your new understanding? It could be the differences you have are simply a matter of what motivates you vs. what motivates your family member. Then, decide to master the moment and bring the right strength to your Thanksgiving celebration.

Perhaps, you don’t anticipate any tense relationships at your Thanksgiving gathering. If so, that’s great! Enjoy the turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, rolls, and every other carb attached to the season. May the football and football (world cup) gods smile upon you and your team, unless you are playing my Cowboys. Regardless of what the CFA cows think, I welcome the turkey come Thursday!!
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A few tips:

• Download the Core Strengths app and pull it out when you need to find a way to reframe your conversation at the family gathering.

• Remember to be grateful in the midst of what is frustrating.

• Remember to watch to cheer for the Cowboys!

• Remember to watch the World Cup.

• Call us next week to keep your development journey rolling.

Keep in mind, if you are exhausted and drained at work, then you’re probably not at your best when you get home. Certainly, that could have implications for your Thanksgiving celebration. Consider one or more of the following to improve your leadership so that you can love life at work and love life at home.
 
Three Opportunities to Consider [learn more: ryan@insightlg.com]

1. Our next Courageous Leaders Executive Experience to help leaders rest, think and prepare to lead well is around the corner. Distilled coming March 8-10, 2023. See more info below.

2. Executive Development: Sign up for executive coaching.

3. Manager Development: Register your managers for our Courageous Manager’s Virtual Cohort launching in the Spring 2023. Watch for new dates coming soon.