What Path are you paving? Discerning the difference between leading & Individually performing
During Father’s Day of 2024, I was dead set on taking my kids mountain biking. After airing up tires and loading bikes for 30 minutes we finally made our way to the trail … minus one kid. Alice stayed back.
There we were ready to conquer the single track on this momentous occasion. Titus (18-year-old) started riding with Elliott (15-year-old) and Ezra (11 year old) was with me. We were supposed to be together, but that didn’t happen until we made it back to the car.
Ezra and I were roughly 3.68 miles in and coming up on what my friend Chad calls “Heartbreak Hill” … not because a high school girlfriend broke his heart 25 years ago … but because it feels like you are going to have a heart attack when riding up.
I saw the hill and coached Ezra to shift to the easy gears. He was locked in. Then I saw two routes: jump on the pavement to wind around calmly or ride the single track straight up the hill. So, I powered up the hill like a father of four typically would. Then I looked back and saw Ezra struggling to pedal but giving it his all.
Then the lesson hit. I shouted down the hill, “Ezra you can take the pavement path around and make it easier.” He said, “Dad, I’m going to do whatever you do. I’m following you.”
There are so many deep thoughts there about parenting and some about leadership. I’ll provide a thought about each.
Leadership Thought
We have a responsibility as leaders to make sure we pave a path for our team to follow. Sometimes we need to push them and sometimes we need to take a path that is more easily followed. Ezra was walking his bike straight up the hill determined to follow in my footsteps. So, I rode down to him, and we jumped on the pavement together. He was able to ride up Heartbreak Hill on the pavement.
Sometimes we work in a way that is individually “successful”, but not helpful for the team to perform at a high-level as well.
Action: Consider the ways you work and determine if there are some areas you need to slow down in, so the team can catch up.
Parenting Thought
The one thing we can’t get back is time with our kids. Our kids are looking to us and if we don’t spend time investing in them, our kids will find others to speak into their lives. They are trying to follow us, but we might inadvertently leave them wondering if we care about them, especially if we are riding up the hill and they are walking while struggling to keep up. It does not matter how old your children are – they want time with you, and they want your affirmation, encouragement, and oh yeah – TIME.
Action: Schedule time in your calendar to go get donuts with your kids, a lunch date during the week or bike ride in the afternoon. Vacations are fun, but the habits in the normal part of our lives make the big difference.
Wrap-Up
Every one of our kids are different. Every one of our team members are different.
Elliott stopped along the trail to take epic pictures.
Ezra’s legs were burning but wants my validation, so he tries hard to follow.
Titus loves going fast and rode in-between all of us back and forth to keep tabs.
Know your team, know what they need and use discernment to determine when you need to race up the hill and when you need to go the long way so your team can go with you.
