The Management challenge
Three Boundaries to Hold
Yesterday afternoon, I sat down with a new director. She’s managing a team for the first time and quickly realizing the challenges of clarifying priorities, expectations, and providing effective feedback. She’s learning that new rhythms are necessary to be an effective manager and not just an individual contributor.
Then she shared, “I’ve never learned how to manage anyone; I’ve just done a good job and kept getting promoted.”
That’s a common story we all have heard and experienced. How come we don’t provide training or coaching to support new managers who make the frontline work happen?
If you’ve ever been around youth baseball, you’ve heard or experienced the gap between someone who used to play and someone who knows how to coach youth. Many “coaches” are simply trying to tell kids what they used to do when they were 1st Team All City in 8th grade, but no one has taught the coach how to develop the kids playing now. The consequence: frustrated parents, demoralized kids, and an amped-up middle-aged man who doesn't know why kids can’t just be better!
The hope is that new managers don’t become like the amped-up Little League baseball coach, leaving everyone frustrated while trying their hardest.
Here are three boundaries every manager needs to remember while learning how to manage:
Personal Boundary: Managers need to stay healthy personally. If a manager isn’t healthy, there’s a good chance the team won’t be either.
Action Step: Establish healthy rhythms so you don’t lose yourself under the pressure of new responsibilities, increased pressure, and relational challenges.
Empathy Boundary: Empathy can be a superpower for leaders. Here’s the deal: if you are a good person, you enjoy quality street tacos. But if you enjoy too many street tacos, you stop enjoying life. It’s like that with empathy (sort of). Too much empathy can cause a leader to lose their voice, lose their principles, and lose their team effectiveness. It’s when we care so much that we cross the empathy boundary and stop managing.
Action Step: Take action to help, but don’t take ownership if it’s not yours to own. Stay objective and caring, but be sure not to isolate the rest of your team by blurring boundaries with some members.
Mission Boundary: Every manager has dealt with change resisters, constant complainers, and poor performers. It’s easy to forget the mission while focusing on people’s challenges.
Action Step: Prioritize and remind the team of the mission when new ideas are shared, and a new direction is criticized. The one key every manager needs to remember – don’t delay the BRAVE conversation. The faster you prepare and have tough conversations to align, the healthier you and your team will be.
Realistically, we all need coaching every now and then to help us overcome a barrier, gain a new skill, and see in ourselves what we can’t see alone. And coaching, when done well, can help us avoid many mistakes and pain that hurt the team and the company.
We can help. There is still room available in the Insight Executive Leadership Academy and the Distilled Leadership Experience. See below for registration details. Or just set up a coaching conversation to chat.
