Insight Leadership

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Valentine's Blunder

Some leaders learn lessons quickly and others take awhile. On the SDI 2.0, stubbornness is one of my top overdone strengths. My wife can attest to this. Maybe my team too!

During our Valentine's date, we were talking with our friends about failed opportunities. There was a time when we believed our wives when they said, "We don't want anything." But they wanted something! I can't tell you how many times I thought that meant I shouldn't actually get a gift! Yes ... you can judge me ... just know after 20 years I have gotten better at having a little intuition and Meg has gotten better at making sure she is not relying on my intuition!

One of my favorite movie scenes in The Breakup with Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston is when she yells, "I just want you to WANT to do the dishes!"

This is one more example of how waiting and hoping for intuition is the worst type of communication!

Here's the deal. The workplace is not much different. If you want your expectations to be met - don't rely on someone's intuition to provide you exactly what you want.

If you want to set up your team members for success - communicate with clarity.

Everyone wants to feel valued, heard and appreciated. When we don't communicate with clarity we fill in the gaps with assumptions of what we think we heard or what we think someone wants. And both parties end up with an element of frustration.

If you are someone like me, you might be able to leverage some helpful tools. I can't tell you how many times I have pulled up the SDI 2.0 compare feature on my wife and team to make sure I'm communicating in a clear and helpful way or to make sure I'm effectively hearing what they say. When I understand where they are coming from it helps me know how to respond.

There are three key elements to make sure you are connecting with your team members.
1) Communicate with clarity to your team members by saying what you mean and meaning what you say.
2) Cultivate community with your team members by valuing and appreciating how they show up.
3) Check-In with your team members on a regular basis so you know how to support, equip and develop them.

What's Next?
If you need a refresher on your SDI 2.0 or you are wanting to improve the culture and communication in your organization, or you just want to have a conversation set up a virtual coffee: https://calendly.com/insightleadership/virtualcoffee