Learning the Art of Social Awareness

The Brown family has a special skill. We have the unique ability to turn any normal situation into an awkward moment and we strive to unleash this skill at the most opportune times. You can imagine that not everyone in the family has the same understanding of what is an opportune time and not everyone who is around us appreciates our special skill in the moment.

Alice our 7-year-old is trying to hone in on her skills. She understands and delivers sarcasm very well but doesn’t understand when and when not to deliver it. Meaning – she doesn’t know when she is way over the line.

The key to knowing the right amount of awkward rests in knowing how to read the room. The fancy term for this is, “social awareness”.

It’s about the ability to know how to engage relationally in a way that builds the relationship.

If there is one skill that can make or break a leader’s effectiveness it’s social awareness. I know that’s a big statement. Don’t get me a wrong, great team members have three things in common.

1. They build healthy relationships | RQ

2. They manage emotions and stay focused | EQ

3. They own and excel in areas of responsibility and keep developing | Competency

These three things can’t happen well without applying social awareness.

For example:

• The new 24.5-year-old MBA graduate begins to insert opinions based on grad school case studies and ego rather than business knowledge and expertise. They don’t understand why they aren’t up for promotion and their influence in team meetings is lacking.

• The team member who celebrates challenging every idea in every meeting to make the team better and they can’t understand why they are invited to less meetings.

• The manager diving into the weeds on every project and not empowering the team to follow-through. The manager doesn’t understand they are getting in the way.

• My daughter Alice not realizing her grandma is not enjoying the copying game and so she continues …

Just think about the last social blunder you experienced at work and let us know if you are putting that individual in the 9th box for succession planning.

When on the airplane, how many of you are thankful for the extra loud business call in the seat next to you while everyone is boarding.

This summer I’ve spent about 3 evenings a week on the Fayetteville Greenway bike riding. There is woman who is always on the trail riding an e-bike with a huge smile on her face as she presses the button to make the bike move. Normally it’s all good when we pass one another, but this week was another story.

This week she was smiling and riding in the wrong lane. I was flying around the corner at just under the posted speed limit at 14.999999 miles per hour and her smile quickly changed as I avoided a head-on collision and let her know kindly to stay in her lane. She lacked the awareness of where she was on the trail and almost made quite the painful mess.

Why is this important?

When we don’t have and don’t practice social awareness, we jeopardize our ability to lead, manage and drive for results.

When we don’t understand the impact our words and actions have on the people we lead and work with, we can negatively impact what happens organizationally.

When people believe the lines on the greenway are for artistic design and not traffic flow, people are negatively impacted.

When employees believe policies are for others and not them, budgets and results can be negatively impacted.

In the same way, when we don’t understand how to engage with team members, clients, and customers, the results can be negative.

So, how do you learn or practice social awareness?

1. Pay attention to what’s happening in your team members world and adjust accordingly. When someone is about to go on vacation, don’t load them with more stuff for when they return. Empty their plate so they can enjoy the trip.

2. Know your team and pay attention to what’s happening in their world and let the information impact how you approach them.

3. How often do you talk versus others?

4. How does your breath smell and do you need to take a step back?

We leverage the SDI 2.0 to help leaders learn ways of working with one another effectively, so they know how to practice RQ and EQ without losing the ever-important skill – social awareness.

Our Insight team provides executive coaching, facilitation and training to help leaders, teams and organizations navigate what’s going on and prepare for what will. Find time to chat!