Navigating the Tension Between Loving Life @ Work and Loving Life @ Home.

During our Insight sessions we often talk about the tension we feel between loving life @ work and loving life @ home. Another way to say that is ... we are all learning how to navigate the tension of conflicting priorities.
 
Work is an obvious priority. If we don’t kick butt and take names at work we aren’t going to be honoring our commitments and earning our income in an honorable way. So, loving life at work is a priority.
 
Family is an obvious priority. Without dating your spouse, investing in your children, and spending time with friends, life can quickly become less meaningful. So loving life at home is a priority.
 
How do we manage competing priorities? How do we determine where to invest our time and who to invest our time with? 
 
There have been seasons in the past 10 years when my wife knew that I had to work because if I didn’t prioritize working, the business would have not have become sustainable. Early mornings, late nights and traveling to anywhere a client needed when they needed it drove the calendar. Financially providing for my family was a priority. Many of you have been there. Many of you are there.
 
Again, "many of you have been there" (i.e. in the past). The distinction is crucial. 
 
I had a key conversation with an entrepreneur in a similar season of life with young children who helped me make key decisions. He said, “We have to decide, how much $$ is enough.” Obviously we can always make more money, but we can't get back the time coaching our kids soccer teams. We can make more money, but we can't get back the time dating our spouse. We can make more money, but we can’t catch up on time lost with friends.
 
So, we have to decide at some juncture, what is the point of it all when we work non-stop at the cost of relationships? When does our non-stop work become destructive rather than productive?
 
Financially providing for my family is a top priority still, but the level of urgency has shifted as the business has become more sustainable.
 
Managing that shift has been a challenge, but one that I’m thankful to endure. Have you felt that challenge as you you’ve grown in your leadership role? Last week I found myself in a predicament. Last year, I committed to speak with a SHRM group and last week, my H.S. Soccer team state playoff schedule came out. I’m an assistant coach and two of my boys wreak havoc in the midfield. Should I speak or should I coach and be a dad?

I can justify speaking ... 

• It’s a commitment and we follow through with our commitments.

• It’s a business development opportunity. Everyone in the room is a potential client.

• It’s business and it’s my job.

I can justify coaching ... 

• It could be the last time I see my boys on the pitch together.

• The team needs me to help coach them to victory.

• I love my boys and want to be there for them.

On the sidelines of my youngest son’s soccer match Saturday afternoon, I turned to a local business leader and family man for some insight. After the conversation, the same thought kept circulating through my mind: In 5 years am I going to be more thankful I spoke at this meeting or watched my boys play in state? What will my kids remember?
 
I’m not discounting speaking. Many of our long-term clients have come through seasons like this. I feel the tension. But what’s most important?
 
There is a point that every spouse and child can fairly ask us, “Am I more important than work?” Every friend can ask, “Is there ever a time we can hang out instead of you working late?”
 
My hope is that we Love Life @ Work and Love Life @ Home.
 
If you are struggling to manage competing priorities at work and need coaching to help you manage the tension – set up a time to chat.