There I was, holding on to a rock in the middle of the rapids, rethinking my whole life. I was rocked to the core.  

Let’s start from the beginning of the day.  

We had church on zoom and my friend texted me right after I wrapped up to say, “meet me in 15 min, we are hitting the river.” So, of course, I don’t ask any questions.  As a side, I do ask my wife (she says yes!) and I head out the door.  

There’s 4 of us at the start.  

The first set of rapids were exhilarating. Bigger than normal and the adrenaline was pumping. MAN, I LOVE THE RIVER! Wait...what’s happening?  Where is Clay going? In retrospect, he was the wisest of our group when he bailed at that first rapid due to an equipment issue.   

The three of us ventured back to the river. The event planner yells back at us and says, “there’s a rough spot up here somewhere, I’m not sure where”. We genuinely appreciated the heads up and it had been years since I’ve swam a rapid and I wasn’t about to start now.  But, just in case, I slide my sunglasses into my life vest and navigate forward. Some might say this was my first mistake – a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts. 

We navigate the next section fine … but before I know it, I’m high sided on a rock and swimming. I’m determined to catch up to my kayak which is in arm's length, but the current took it faster than I could blink - deep into the rapids. I’m squarely in the chaos, when the water sweeps me right into a protruding rock. Sticking out of the rapids just enough to hold onto without being swept away.  

There I was holding on to a rock in the middle of the rapids rethinking my whole life.

This is what I mean by being rocked to the core.  

I thought:  

• Screw this, I’m out... 

• I’m done kayaking ...  

• I love my wife … 

• I love my kids …  

• I don’t want to drown …  

• I hope the rock doesn’t budge … 

• Is there anyone who can help … 

A few times I tried to get my footing to walk the 20 feet to the shore, but every time I started to move, the rapids started to sweep me away.  

I had to assess my options: 

1. Am I going to be the guy who gets rescued by the park rangers swift water team? (No) 

2. Am I going to drown swimming the rapids? (maybe, but chances are I won’t die) 

I went with option 2 since our coordinator also happened to be my doctor and I figured he would be able to resuscitate me if worst came to worst. Believe it or not, I was trained to swim the rapids and knew the basics... feet up – head up.  

That was my only option. Feet up - head up.  It became my mantra … I said a prayer and let go of the rock.  

The waves were huge. My feet were hitting the rocks, the river water was flowing into my lungs as I tried desperately to keep my head from slamming into the rocks underneath me. 250 yards later and I was drained – the only thing keeping me afloat was the vest.  250 more yards, wave after wave beating me up like a novice in a UFC fight, when I faintly hear someone yelling to me from the shore, “Swim here, swim here”.  I didn’t have an ounce of energy left and had consumed gallons of river water that was weighing me down even more.  I thought there was no chance, but I rolled over and started, with all my remaining strength, the breaststroke through the current.  The next thing I remember is being on the shore “expelling” all that river water that had made its way into my lungs.  

I was done with the near-death experience… but, it wasn’t over.  I was done … but, I had to kayak another 3 miles. 

It was the first time I didn’t look forward to being on the river. 

Many of us have felt similar feelings during COVID 19. We have been rocked to the core. We’ve felt like we are holding onto the rock in the middle of the rapids and the only option is to let go and pray.  

Well, how do you emerge stronger from that?  

Here’s what I’ve thought about since that May 17, moment on the rock. 

1. I could only do what I was trained to do. Head up – feet up. The training worked. I’m here, but I’m shaken up and not planning my next trip yet. 

2. A guide would have been helpful. A guide would have led me through the rapids and given me a chance to truly enjoy a beautiful day on the river. 

3. Painful moments help us remember what’s most important and we should shift our behavior accordingly. 

How do you emerge stronger when you are rocked to the core? Find the right guide for moving forward. Avoid navigating disruption without a clear map.  

If I would have read a field guide on that section of the river, I would have known what I was getting into and how to get through it.  

That why we’ve created A Leader’s Field Guide for ReEntry. We created a guide to help you navigate through disruption without having to make the choice of being rescued or praying you won’t drown.   

Learn more about the guide here.

Purchase the guide here and receive access to it today. You don’t have to wait.